Liv and Vik Versus the Boomer Bears from Space

Kids love to tell stories. Sometimes, those stories are a little weird. That's why I have started the Weird Kids series. If you submit your kids' story ideas to [email protected] you will see them featured here with credit for the storyline! I hope to one day turn this into a business!

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CHAPTER 1 — CRASH LANDING

“I think we just need to ask for directions,” said Betty. “Absolutely not!” Benny knew where he was going. He didn’t need a map. He’d flown his spaceship around Earth dozens of times. “Benny Bear, we’re lost. What would it hurt to ask one human one ti- BENNY NO!” *crash* Benny and Betty Bear exited the spaceship.

“Benny you’ve driven our brand new TeslaCraft directly into the ocean!” Benny roared. “Shouldn’t’ve been standing there. There’s no reason the ocean couldn’t be polite and step out of our way. Back in my day the ocean would move for Boomer Bears.” “Benny, now is not the time.”

“We’ll just pull it back out,” said Benny. “Can’t be that deep. Would you look at that fish? It’s massive! And beautiful! And . . . and . . . it’s . . . it’s swallowed the TeslaCraft, hasn’t it? A whale, I think they call ‘em.” Benny knew that look. Betty was not happy. As they swam to the shore, they noticed many humans between the ocean and a gritty part of land he was not familiar with.

“Hello, everyone! Fine day, init? Why are you all burying yourselves in this white dirt? Haven’t you got work to do?” The humans looked at each other in shock and ran. Benny thought it quite rude. “They run in teems, like fish do,” explained Betty. “Humans rarely are found without another human or a shell phone. The phone tells them where to find the other humans.” “Shell phones. How silly,” laughed Benny. “When I was a young Boomer Bear, we had to take space potatoes and draw faces on them for companionship.” Benny picked up a large conch shell and held it to his ears. Nothing. There must be bad signal in the white dirt places near the oceans.

Betty and Benny used their opportunity alone to change into their human suits, a necessity for every trip to Earth. After, they walked to the nearest Denny’s. “Table for two?” “Yes. And I demand my senior discount,” Benny barked. “May I ask your age sir?” Pre-Food Woman laughed when he had given an honest answer of 104.

Benny and Betty tried every staple their friends had told them to try. Battered circles with runny brown sugar liquid, pre-pre-chicken sunny side up, hashed browns (the hash signs were diy), bean juice, and orange tree liquid filled their gullets until they were stuffed. “Will that be cash or card,” asked Post-Food Woman. “Spacebucks,” said Betty politely.

“Apparently not all planets take Spacebucks?” Benny scoffed, cleaning the food platters next to Betty, who dried and put them away gently. “If you need some cash, I’ve got a way for you to make some,” said a voice to their left. Food Man handed us a piece of thin fabric with Earth digits written on it. “Call me anytime,” he said.

CHAPTER 2 — PACKING PEANUTS

“We need to find a shell,” said Betty. “I tried that conch earlier. It didn’t work, remember? I remember when shells always worked. Different times.” Betty looked up at her husband. “Well, how do we reach Food Man without a shell?” Betty and Benny had been banned from Denny’s for life, at least the ones on Earth.

Betty and Benny took off their human suits and watched from the Denny’s parking lot to see when Food Man left. A couple of cars passed and snapped photos, so they had to act casually. “We are just bears with no motive but to stand here and be bear-like,” Betty and Benny stated. The humans did not buy it.

As Food Man walked out of Denny’s, Benny and Betty were on his track. They followed him all the way to a rental cabin. “Food Man!” Betty shouted. Food Man turned around and screamed. “No, it’s ok. It’s us! Spacebucks!” Food Man stared in disbelief. “You said to call you any time, but you didn’t give us a shell phone. Just a piece of fabric with Earth digits.” Food man rubbed his eyes to make sure he was seeing correctly.

“So, what you’re telling me is that you’re bears from outer space?” “Precisely, young man,” Betty smiled. Food Man had stated his name was Eric. “So can you do anything a space alien could do?” Eric still wasn’t quite sure he could tell if he was asleep or in a bad movie, but he went along with it. “Can you fly? Do you know what happened at Area 51? Do you need oxygen?” Eric thought for a minute before saying, “You need money, and I need to be entertained. Are you following me?”

“No,” stated Benny. “We’re sitting down.” “Anyway,” continued Eric, “I’ll give you $100 if you try a few things for me. Just some different Earth foods, and just to see if you like them.” Betty and Benny immediately agreed. Getting paid to eat on vacation sounded amazing, and $100 Earth dollars could probably buy them a spaceship home, or maybe even the whale that swallowed their spaceship!

Eric started with various foods that are common allergies: eggs, milk, fish, gluten, shellfish, and strawberries. When they were ok, he moved on to more difficult foods. This time they tried hot sauce, jalapeno poppers, sour candy, and habanero peppers. Still no reaction. “Have you heard of packing peanuts?” Eric pulled out a box of white, porous pellets.

This is the was the final test before Betty and Benny could get their money to go home. They found them exceedingly difficult to chew. In fact, the more they chewed, Benny could swear the peanuts only grew in his mouth. “I think I’m allergic,” Benny said sickly. He felt himself growing ill and regurgitated the entirety of the packing peanuts onto the cabin floor.

“Sick, dude,” said Eric. While the bears were trying to recover from their recent sudden illness Eric let them know he had no money after all. “But you promised us $100 Earth dollars,” cried Betty. Eric shrugged his shoulders and walked out of the cabin without saying a word. From that day on, Betty and Benny had a disdain for humans like no other. They would get their revenge and their money from every human they could, for they were now stuck on Earth. Betty and Benny put on their human suits and waited for Food Man to return.

CHAPTER 3 — BATTLE OF BOOMER BEARS

Carla, Adam, Liv, and Vik walked into the cabin, quickly carrying their heavy luggage. “Finally, some time to relax,” stated Carla with a sigh of relief. “I call the big bed,” yelled Liv, running to look at the rooms. “Looks like they didn’t clean very well after the last renters,” stated Adam, referencing the mix of vomit and packing peanuts on the ground.

Betty and Benny watched through their goggles at the family. “Who are these humans?” Betty asked with a sense of guilt, knowing they were not the responsible party. Still though, they were humans and humans were always up to no good. “No mercy,” said Benny coolly. “I didn’t go through 3 intergalactic deployments to show mercy to four humans. Back in my day we-“ “Back in your day, they also didn’t crash TeslaCrafts into whales,” Betty interrupted. “Yet here we are.” The two waited until the humans went to sleep.

“Mommy,” said Liv. “Did you know there are two space bears watching us from the windows with binoculars?” Carla laughed. Liv had quite the imagination. “There are no bears in this area, baby. Go to sleep.” “If we get eaten, just know that my last words need to be recorded as ‘I told you so’ and that we could have all lived.” “Go to bed, Liv. Night, Vik!” Vik had been arranging his display of weapons. He had brought a small gun, a vintage flash grenade, ninja throwing stars, and he had added some packing peanuts that had been painted to look like bullets.

The family was woken up by Carla screaming at 5:00am. Two large bears were outside and trying to get into the cabin. They had run away when she saw them. “No service,” said Adam, who was desperately trying to call the local rangers. “I’ve read about those kinds of bears,” said Liv. “Those are space bears.” “Liv, honey,” said Carla, “It’s not the time for fairy tales.” “It’s true! Check out the window from last night! I told you!” Next to the window were two human suits and a pair of binoculars. Liv was not lying. “We have to protect ourselves for when they come back. They’ll want their stuff back.”

The front of the cabin was now a giant trip wire. It was meant to ring a loud bell and release a net when the bears got too close to the perimeter of the property. Unfortunately, the bell was the only part that had worked. The bears were running this time. They were going to try to brute force the door open! Vik opened the door and threw his ninja stars. They did not work. Instead, in fact, they seemed to have grown stronger and suffered nothing but a minor haircut!

Next, he tried the gun. He had of course not brought any bullets since his weapons were supposed to be display only. He had, however, brought some blanks. He fired them, hoping to scare the bears. They were still running for the door at full speed. Carla threw the flash grenade Vik had brought, but it only stunned the family for several seconds as it had gone off too soon. Adam remembered the pile of vomit and began firing a Nerf gun full of packing peanuts directly into their mouths. This stopped them temporarily as they were horrified at seeing these human death bites again. They found a pickaxe in the garage and tossed it at the bears, only slightly injuring one of them. That injury was enough to send them running back the other way though!

“We have to get ready for the next round,” Liv said. “Space bears never give up!” A neighboring cabin had lent them two trampolines, and they set them up just inside the door. The bears came running back. They got closer and closer to the door. 100 feet . . . 50 . . . 25 . . . 10 . . . “NOW!” Liv screamed as they opened the door. The bears were shocked as they jumped on the angled trampolines in the doorway, unable to stop or slow down. The impact was so incredibly forceful that the pair bounced back the opposite direction, but they were going up at an angle. Liv threw the bears their belongings as they were thrust back into space.

“Mama, did you hear me?” Liv asked.

“I said I told you so.”

THE END

____________________________________________________Creative credit given to Olivia Cornatzer for her video storyline submission!