Mo Yan: children's problems are the reflection of parents' problems.

Most of the excellent children are the result of high-quality education, and most of the problem children are the products of problem families.

Most of the children's problems are not caused by the children themselves, but the reflection of parents' problems. Parents are often the biggest makers of children's problems and the biggest obstacle for children to correct their mistakes and shortcomings.

When I was young, I followed my mother to pick up ears of wheat, but my mother was slapped in the face by the guard. Many years later, my mother and I met the caretaker again in the bazaar. The caretaker was already a white-haired old man. I wanted to take revenge, but I was persuaded by my mother. My mother only said, "son, the man who beat me is not alone with this old man." this is my family style.

Family education is the earliest thing that everyone receives from birth, and family education is also the most affected. This kind of education is taught by words and deeds, and I even think that teaching by deeds is more important than words.

You live in this family, your elders, your relatives, what kind of way they treat work and others, I think it will have a very direct and imperceptible influence on the children.

Therefore, I think having a good family style is indeed very beneficial to the growth of children.

Good parents are learned.

There are no naturally successful parents and no parents who do not need to learn. Successful parents are the result of continuous learning and improvement. I have come into contact with so many outstanding parents, none of whom is easy to achieve godchild success.

An excellent mother even said that many people think I am very relaxed, saying that your child is so good that you don't have to worry about it at all, but you don't know that I even have an eye open when I sleep at night!

A good mother takes precautions, but an unqualified mother is that her child's problems are so serious that even the teacher has talked to her child, and she is not aware of the problem.

Comrade Shen Liping, the first outstanding mother in the country, was a painter. In order to study painting, she not only went to university, but also went to the Central Academy of Arts and Crafts for further studies. she not only bought books, but also visited countless art exhibitions and listened to countless academic reports.

But she never realized that it should take time to raise a child, and she didn't really learn to be a mother until the child was severely disabled because of the air crash, and finally helped the child overcome the disability because of her own efforts.

Entering the 21st century, the information society has higher and higher requirements for the quality of people, and any post requires training and assessment, but it seems that only giving birth and educating children do not need training, it seems that they will be laid off automatically and will never be laid off. in fact, this understanding is wrong.

Everyone has to learn relevant knowledge before becoming a parent. The sooner you prepare the awareness and knowledge about how to be a parent, the better, and the more fully, the better.

Good parents should pay attention.

I have met hundreds of excellent parents, and one of the things they have in common is their painstaking efforts in educating their children. Some people may say, there are so many parents who can't read a word, don't they also educate good children?

In fact, illiteracy is not uneducated. These parents are also good at educating their children.

The program "focus interview" has introduced the deeds of an Jinpeng, a gold medalist in the Mathematical Olympiad of middle school students in the world.

His family was extremely poor. He was admitted to a key middle school, but he didn't have the money to go to college. His father told his children to go to work, but they didn't have a job even after they went to college, not to mention that you don't know whether you can be admitted to college or not. But my mother firmly disagreed and sold the only donkey in the family.

In high school, the child is the only one who can't afford to eat vegetarian food, and the only one who can't afford soap. In this way, the child depends on herself to know that although the mother did not even graduate from primary school, she let her child do the four calculations well before primary school.

How many college graduate parents can do this alone?

Children's problems are the reflection of parents' problems.

Many parents blame their children's bad habits on the school, on the teachers, on the children themselves, but not on themselves.

In fact, most of the habits in children, whether good or bad, are cultivated by our parents intentionally or unintentionally. Just as Shanghainese say Shanghainese eat Shanghainese and Sichuanese eat Sichuan cuisine, it seems that they are born without training, but this is not the case. Parents teach all the time, so that they do not realize that they are teaching. This is "latent education", which is much more powerful than "obvious education".

Most of the excellent children are the result of high-quality education, and most of the problem children are the products of problem families. Most of the children's problems are not caused by the children themselves, but the reflection of parents' problems. Parents are often the biggest makers of children's problems and the biggest obstacle for children to correct their mistakes and shortcomings.

The urgent task is not to educate the children, but to educate the parents. Without the change of the parents, there will be no change of the children. There are no children who don't want to learn well, only children who can't learn well.

There are no children who are not well educated, only parents who can't educate. So scold yourself before scolding your child and beat yourself before hitting your child. Only in this way can you completely change yourself.

Good grades don't just depend on teachers.

The whole society should have a correct understanding of quality education and examination-oriented education.

Examination-oriented education is a problem that can not be avoided by schools and parents, and it needs to be adapted by both schools and parents. There is no contradiction between examination-oriented ability education and quality-oriented education. Quality-oriented education without examination ability is not a real quality-oriented education.

According to statistics, there are nearly 10 million "idle" minors in our country. The so-called idle minors refer to those children who are supposed to be in school rather than study and choose to drop out of school. 94% of them are the result of academic failure. Academic backwardness, weariness, truancy and running away from home have become the four steps of juvenile delinquency.

Therefore, it has become an obligation of our parents to help our children adapt to the examination-oriented education, and the best way to help our children reduce the burden is to increase the burden of our parents, that is, our parents can become their children's mentors.

Of course, good grades are brought out by school teachers, but today, when the competition in examination-oriented education is so fierce, these good grades are increasingly soaked in the sweat of parents.

Good communication can be heard.

For parents whose children enter junior high school and senior high school, there is a general confusion that it is difficult to communicate with their children.

There are more conflicts between children entering puberty and mothers entering menopause, not only because they are in an internal period of psychological turmoil, but more importantly, both have great external pressure, children face the pressure of going to school, and mothers face the pressure of career, which makes it more necessary to strengthen communication.

To listen is to let the child speak out and understand the true meaning of the