Mind Over Matter

I recently submitted a discussion post amongst my peers in Psychology 101 at Strayer University, where we were asked, "Can our personalities change with time throughout our life span, or do we consistently do things similarly throughout our aging process?" An example was included regarding a convicted felon who had committed many murders, but was adamant that his incarceration time had given him the space and opportunity to truly turn over a new leaf and change. Critics argued, saying of course that would be his perception while still inside, as the case study persisted that if paroled his new, exemplary behavior would be his norm moving forward. The question still being, whether or not such a dramatic change in personality and actions was possible?

My response was as follows:

"Well now, this discussion will allow for quite a bit of transparency on my part. Not only to reintroduce the "me" I be, but to open the discussion based on a "live" case study. Can one's personality change over time, or do our positions, actions, and reactions persist over time?

Gene-environment interaction theorizes that " we are BOTH the product and architect of our environments." I have heard it said many times when defending someone's behavior, etc. that they are simply "products of their environments"; leading one to assume that the environment is entirely to blame for the unwanted condition. When, we are given free will and have freedom of choice, to an extent, and it is therefore our choices that we are the product of.

I am the Lifetime movie come to life that has yet to air. I was that child actually left on the doorstep of a distant relative; raised as their child until the age of 14, when a "Lemony Snicket" series of events occurred that led me to the reunion of my biological family. Fourteen years of living with a more cultured side of the same blood, and therefore raised in a more desired environment; private schools in Bedford Village, NY, guitar and piano lessons at an early age to which I should have been more in tune, travel to more than just the customary holiday destinations, exposed to heightened experiences that could surely have propelled me further in life than my mere existence today. Yet, I chose to reunite with my own; my biological mother and two long lost brothers, because at such a young age, the minor effort of existing that was required of me with my aunt and allowing my circumstances to unfold as they may was far too much of a beneficial decision for my still developing frontal cortex to make. I chose to go into the unknown with the unknown. The blind leading the blind, the downfall that those Browns' would surely cause me according to every story my aunt ever told. In the end, it was just so. My mother was an addict, in an abusive relationship, and my brothers pretty much were left to fend for themselves. I became the leader of the lost while trying to just belong. I ended up in prison when I was 16 for breaking into a house with my cousin to feed myself, and the children of another woman who was lost in addiction. I was literally a product of my ill-begotten environment at this point. I ended up serving two years for that crime, and other sentences for minor crimes related to existing as an unsupervised youth left to figure it out that left me in the system until the age of 21.

At some point, I started making the right decisions. I managed to start school, find suitable employment, get custody of one of my brothers to get him out of the system, and proceed into adulthood with minimal issues with concern to law-breaking. During my first marriage of 15 years, with a wife, 7 kids, and 22 grandkids throughout the union, there was a time in 2010 when i made an idiot move to try to make ends meet. The days I spent away from my family reminded me of the two years in 1996. Every day since has been made in effort to never relive those days again. While the experience taught me many things, it also gave me the knowledge, accurate and precise, that yes, personalities can change over time. Actions can change over time. I cannot say that I am perfect, but I can say that I know that my actions dictate my outcome. What I choose to do with my time, and the efforts I put forth in doing them, will decide how successful I am.

To date, I am a student ending my first year at Strayer, in a new relationship of a little over a year, having successfully raised my own one biological daughter to graduate high school and continue into her own adult endeavors. I am a minister of going on 2 years at Out of the Box Ministries Myrtle Beach, a church for ALL people, with a concentration no less on the LGBTQIA community. I went from a lost, struggling teenage youth to the middle-aged woman I am today on a wing and a prayer, as well as determination for a better future. Now I learn how to further gain and apply those skills for continued success, and how to effectively communicate my story to those in any of those similar situations to prove that regardless of age, race, or circumstance, your latter can be greater! "

I share this today as my first VOCAL submission so that my readers know from the start that I come in peace. I plan to motivate, inspire, and lead a group of people who have come to realize that what we do with our time is just that, what we do with our time. What are you doing? My new mantra for the last year or so, which I pass on to you today, is: Change without change IS NOT change! Let's get out there and make a difference! Happy Reading!