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Live In The Moment

You've Earned It

By AngelPublished about a year ago 15 min read
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Chapter 1

I wake up to a notification on my I-Phone 20. I’m still holding on to the invitation to my 75th birthday, I must have drifted off to sleep while reading it. I do that a lot nowadays, can’t seem to stay up for more than just a few hours. There are days that I feel trapped in this old body and the young me is screaming to get out. Maybe take the wife to a movie or just a nice walk at the park. Given the chance, I’d take them on a nice vacation and show them all a good time. Nope, this is me now, have to wait for someone else to decide my day. Could be worse I guess, I spent all last week in a hospital bed. My arm is still bruised from all that poking they did.

I set the invitation on the table next to my recliner and grab the phone. This thing drives me crazy. Which one of the 200 Apps made the sound? Too short for a phone call. Doesn’t look like I have any text messages. Battery is fully charged. By this time my arthritis is starting to act up. Right as I was giving up, I see it, a fancy-schmancy email. “Drone C-08-04-12 has delivered your package.” What a joke. Is it wrong that I secretly want to use those things for target practice? Useless. What ever happened to that rude fella that was always in a hurry. Would hand you a package and be driving off before you even had a chance to shut the front door.

I set the package down. I have to find my pills. This arthritis isn’t making this easy and to make things worse I can hardly move my arm. I take my time walking to the bedroom where I take my medicine. Gotta take it easy on that ankle. Had two injuries on that very same ankle when I was 19. Too stubborn to get it taken care of and now it’s just gotten worse over the years. But hey, at least I’m walking.

For a few minutes, I act like the package doesn’t exist until finally deciding to open the darn thing. I’m getting frustrated trying to peel this tape off. My breathing intensifies. I finally get it opened and begin to feel dizzy, I lose my balance and fall to my carpeted floor. The package falls in front of my eyes and there I see a cardboard box with the scattered contents. I can’t move, I try to scream, my vision is failing. What was in the box, I try and make out the contents but I can’t. I can almost see the two shiny objects. It’s so blurry. Something looks familiar. I drift off to sleep.

Chapter 2

I wake up to find myself in a time when my body was fully functional, young and full of energy. My maturity level isn’t quite where it needs to be and I have these internal battles. For a while I can’t decide between having fun or being a dependable employee. This struggle Is short-lived. I soon realize that I enjoy working and moving up the latter, but being a High School drop-out did have the setbacks my parents predicted.

Drilling rigs pay good but come with some challenges. First, there’s the crowd that wants to party all the time, had to be careful with them. They showed me a fun way to live my life and have nothing to show for it. I got to hang out at the Rock Bottom without having to hit it myself. There was the math, if I wanted to move up, I had to get good at math. The hours were long. Weeks away from my family was the toughest thing to become accustomed to. At times, life felt like a lonesome routine. But like a saving grace, I somehow managed to grab the attention of the most beautiful girl in the world. Married her and here come the kids.

I found purpose and satisfaction in working my butt off. It took me several years but now find myself in a room taking my very first Well Control course along with some of the big bosses. I can’t help but feel out of place, I’m the lowest man on the totem pole. I find some of these guys unlikeable and a bit stuck up. I have to admit though, after the 3-day course they don’t seem that bad. The last day is here and we can’t wait to get it over with. Quick review of the material, group picture with these weirdos, take the excruciating 50-question exam and get home for dinner. I turn my test in, 15 minutes later I’m told I passed. I quietly wave good bye to everyone who is still test taking. I get in my beat-up truck, turn the radio up and head to the house.

I get home and spend time with the family. We make plans for a getaway. But that will have to wait. Tomorrow, I wake up at 1:00 AM and head back out for my two weeks at work. I feel proud of my accomplishments today. It wasn’t fun at all rubbing elbows with those guys, but I knew this was the beginning of a new chapter for my family. I need to make the most of this. Although I was not looking forward to the 4-hour drive to work, I sure was ready to get there and tell the guys how great I did. We put the kids to bed.

Tired, frustrated and with the feeling that I didn’t have time to enjoy my family I turn out the lights. As I close my eyes, I realize I never finished my honey-do list, I drift off to sleep.

Chapter 3

I wake up tired. I look in the mirror and a middle-aged man stares back at me. Hair starting to turn gray and a body that could use some gym time. I grab a quick shower because its almost 5 AM. "Never late, always on time." That’s how I live and expect others to conduct themselves around me. I’m in charge of a multimillion-dollar operation that is being performed by multimillion dollar machinery. I start my day with a cup of coffee in my hand and a clear goal. It’s my job to safely lead my team as we drill in the isolated hills of North Dakota.

I’ve been here 18 days and I’m really missing my family. People say time together with your loved ones is the most precious thing in the world. How true, and it saddens me to know that half of that time can only be inside my mind. It’s not easy, but I have to make it to day 21. I volunteered to stay an extra week. It’s something I often do, telling myself it’s the right thing to do while my body is still fully functional. Plus, I promised the boss. Who by the way is one of my closest friends. He’s not the most likable guy, but we really hit it off after meeting at my first Well Control course. After this, two airplane rides and a taxi from the airport await me, twelve hours travel time.

Home Sweet Home. I take it easy for a day or two. She reminds me that I need to spend quality time with them, creating memories. I know she’s right but act like I deserve the right to spend my time avoiding my duties. I spend the next few days taking care of day-to-day matters. I have to say that about 50% of this looks unimportant, but I keep at it. We decide to have a getaway in pursuit of those memories. We hit the road and like the hero that I am, fill the car with all the road trip junk food I can find. I take them to see the Medieval Times Show. I try to enjoy it but can’t seem to find my place in this moment. They had a blast though. I could see it on their faces. I could hear it in her laughter. We ate food with our bare hands, cheered for the Kingdom Knight and bought some useless things at the giftshop. She even talked me into paying 50 dollars for some pictures where we posed with the princess of the castle, what a rip-off. We make it home a couple of days later and continue about our lives. The children have grown so much. I’ve missed most of it, but I can safely call this week a success.

The more you make the more you spend. I’m to the point that I don’t see those words as a wise old saying, but as a warning. Standing here, I can see how if I had heeded the warning, my family time would not have suffered as much. We are spending money as fast as it comes in. But anything for my family. I will continue to provide for them the best way I know how. We all crowd the living room to watch a movie. I lay on the couch and begin to dose off to the popping sound in the microwave. Tomorrow, I have to leave for work. Tomorrow, I will leave my sunny home and catch a plane to those snow-covered hills. Satisfied but broken hearted, I drift off to sleep.

Chapter 4

I wake up to the sound of, well, nothing. My body no longer has use for an alarm clock. I walk to this coffee shop, I like it here. The coffee isn’t the best but the people are nice and attentive. Sometimes I meet with some old friends in here. We begin talking about the weather and then we complain about the way this country has changed. I enjoy the conversation. Today is quiet though, I am staring out the glass window remembering the day I retired. I was hoping to make it a couple more years but they shut me down at 65. I was replaced by a young 50-year-old buck. But I can’t hate on him, excellent human being. I had the pleasure of training him myself. But I do wish I could have stayed on for a while longer.

I was always told retirement makes for long never-ending days. Not for me, as much as I’d like to slow them down, the years keep piling on, and so do the health issues. Seems like every year I have to add a pill to my daily ritual. I see the kids less and less now, the grand kids even less than that. There are times when I just need to get out of the house so I volunteer at local events. I even got a job for a couple of years working for my son, but it was obvious I was slowing him down a bit, so I decided to get back to this retirement thing. The world keeps changing around me. It’s getting harder to walk to the coffee shop. Traffic is so bad now that I wouldn’t dare take that journey on my own. It’s not so bad when my girls walk me there, I love holding their hands. The boy does OK, but he walks a bit faster than I’d like, always in a hurry. Maybe I’ll have them walk me there in the morning, sure would be nice.

It’s my birthday today so I’ll just lay on this recliner. I set my phone on the side table and pick up the invitation that is laying there. It has a big fat 75 on the front. To tell you the truth I’m not really looking forward to it. When had I become so grumpy? Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries or any special event, waste of time and money. It’s tonight at 07:00 PM. I would make every effort to not be part of my own party. Maybe I can just lay here the whole time, flipping thru channels. Surely, I’ll have to turn down a piece of cake more than once. I’ll try to be nice, I guess. If I feel up for it, I might just tell the grandkids one of the many life-changing stories from my past. “But only if I feel up for it”, I tell myself as I rest my eyes for a bit. With the invitation in my hand and a frown on my face, I drift off to sleep.

Chapter 5

I wake up and I’m back on my recliner. My wife holding my hand, right there by my side like she has been for so many years now, she’s so beautiful. I can’t turn my head to look but I hear the paramedic telling my son that I’ll be fine. “He did good, if he hadn’t taken his medicine when he did, this would have been a lot worse.”

She gets up and demands I drink the hot tea she’s brewing for me. Little does she know I’ve been on a journey back in time and I’m enjoying every second I’m staring into her eyes. She doesn’t realize she has the voice of an angel and that I can’t wait to drink that tea with her sitting by myside. Before leaving for the kitchen, she glances at the box on the table. “So, what did you think? Did you like them?”. I stare at the opened package but I can’t see what’s in it. She knows me so well; she sees the confused look on my face and realizes I never got to see the contents of the box. She grabs the package and sets it on my lap. “I had them enlarged a bit and framed. I think you’ll love them. Happy Birthday Honey.” She gently kisses my lips and walks to the kitchen. I hesitate for a bit. After a few seconds I open the box and expose two pictures in two beautiful and obviously overpriced frames one on top of the other. I’m not one to cry, never have been. But I can’t help it and I choke up a bit when I pull the first one out.

In the first picture I’m standing with a group of guys. I recognize a couple faces as good longtime friends. This was my first time taking the Well Control Course. I’m the youngest one in the group. I’m still traveling back in time as I prop up the frame on the table. I pull the second one out of the box and that tear finally rolls down my cheek. Many years ago, I took them to see this live show, Medieval Times I think it was. There we were, posing with the castle princess. My wife looks so beautiful holding one of the twins while trying to strike her best pose for the camera. That smile takes over the picture. I can almost hear her laughter thru the picture. My boy must have been seven and the twins two years old. You wouldn’t know it from my serious expression on that picture, but I was on top of the world that day.

When did I become so grumpy? When I swept these memories under the rug and dismissed them as insignificant. Seeing them all so happy makes me realize I did my job. I no longer feel lost. I find myself in this moment and begin to live in it. I realize now that I was making myself miserable only thinking of the hard work it took to get my family to this point. I saw how I had poured my energy and my youth into them, but I was overlooking the results. My past actions were the labor needed to reap the happiness we enjoy today, this very moment. As I come down from my epiphany, I realize I have a house full of guests.

I join the party giving out as many hugs as my energy allows. I don’t want this to end, but I’m not as young as I once was. We take pictures and sit around the table, recounting stories that take us back in time. I walk to the living room where the grand kids are waiting to hear one of my many tales. That’s what I tell myself anyways, but I know they’re really there to get away from us old folks. I make them suffer for a bit before they kiss my forehead goodnight. Such good kids.

As I sit on my recliner, I can still hear laughter telling me the party is still going, but I’m feeling a bit tired now. I reach for my phone and scroll thru the pictures on my gadget. I did great. I was in almost all the pictures. My wife would be proud and my children will love them. I love them. One in particular, a large crowd of familiar faces gathered and looking very enthusiastic. There must be a billion smiles on this one photo. In the center a child-like 75-year-old man sits at the front blowing the candles on his cake. A smile forms on my face, I drift off to sleep.

“Life isn’t perfect. The choices we make aren’t perfect. But your Present is Perfect. Whether you are struggling to survive or you’ve got life by the horns, every choice you’ve made worked to bring you to this precise moment. Are you happy or is this a turning point? Although brief, the Past played its part beautifully, delivering an impeccable performance that got you Here, to Right Now. Live in it.”

advicegrandparentshumanityimmediate familymarriedparentsvalueschildren
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About the Creator

Angel

EACH ONE OF OUR MINDS IS A SEPARATE WORLD. IT IS TO MY PLEASURE THAT I SHARE MINE WITH YOU.

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