Is monogamy dead?

For a long time, we have lived in a world where we were all monogamous. We were all taught that you had to marry one person, and just be with that person forever. For a long time, that one person had to be of the other sex. A man married a woman, and that was it. Men would be allowed to cheat, but it was always hidden. A little secret that everyone knew, but didn't really talk about, as it was acceptable.

However, we don't live in that world anymore. Women can be with women, men with men. So is our view of relationships out dated. Do we need to change it?

I always thought that I would never be okay with cheating, that I would never be okay with multiple partners, either me or my partner. As I look at the world, and expand my way of thinking, I am wondering if maybe I am wrong. Maybe that view of the world is outdated. Maybe not everyone can be faithful to only one person.

The old school way of relationship

The problem with the old school type of relationships, is that it doesn't open up to the fact that everyone is different. Some people can just be with one person, and that is it. But not everyone. As time moves on, we know now that people are all born differently.

It also sets the idea that woman should be submissive to their husbands. That they should stay home, and be quiet. Letting their husbands, most of the time, cheat while they sat in silence looking the other way. We now know, and see, women for the strong people that they really are. While the strongest thing that a woman can do is to be a stay-at-home wife and mother, not everyone has that strength to do so. Some people need to be doing more in order to make sure that they can feel like they are giving more to the world.

It also was a time, where one person could work one job and be able to support a family. That isn't always true anymore. Life is so expensive that it at times takes two incomes in order to be able to afford life. It truly takes a village nowadays. So maybe having multiple partners in a relationship can be a good way to live a great life?

Can you get everything from only 1 person?

Is it always possible to get everything from one person? It's a question that I think we don't ask ourselves enough. For some people, the answer is yes. But for others, the answer might be no. We all have physical, mental and emotional needs that we need from our partner. What do you do if you can't get everything you need from your partner?

If you have higher needs, in any way, than your partner it can cause a real problem. Maybe you are both into different things, and want someone to talk politics to, and your partner doesn't want to. What crosses the line? Really, why do we not talk about this? Why is this not something that we ever discuss? It is just expected that you get everything you need from your partner.

What are the alternatives?

What are the options, and what is really okay? Really, what is okay should be what is okay with you? We need to open our minds to the fact that different things work for different people. If we hear of anything other than, monogamy we say that it is wrong. Really, it is our view that needs to open up.

Open relationship, is where both partners are able to date other people as well. There are many ways to do it, and different rules that you can set. It can be a struggle to get through, as jealously is a real emotion. You also need to be secure in ourself and your relationship. If you are not, then maybe an open relationship is not for you. The upside is that both people are able to get what they need outside the relationship. It puts things on a level field for both people.

Polygamy is where one man is married to different woman. It is illegal in some areas. Some a lot of times he will be legal married to the first wife, while only spiritual married to other woman. The upside is that you can have more children. While a lot of people want that, for medical reasons they might not always be able to do so. It can be lonely for some women, and hard because of jealously. However, the upside is that it can easier overall to have a better life. There can be one wife that stays home with the kids, while others work, bringing in multiple incomes with zero child care cost.

Polyamorous, is where everyone is in relationship together. Everyone lives together and is in a relationship together. But it can be too many people, with too many thoughts. You need to make sure that everyone can get along together. And there needs to be rules in place.

Can one person be open and one monogamous?

Is it possible for one person to be open and the other not? Can that type work? How is it different from just cheating? For me, it's about honesty. A lot of people, who have been cheated on, will tell you that it's the secrecy that really hurts. It is possible that one person needs more, and the other doesn't. Maybe the other person needs a night alone sometimes. Honesty, and communication, can make this type of relationship work.

Conclusion

There are so many type of relationships out there that can work. It's really just about honesty and communication that will make it work. We need to open our minds to another way of life. Make sure that you do what works for you. We all need to have conversations about what we really want our lives to look like, and to really open our minds.

Maybe it's time to open up our views to other ways to live.

-T