When do you cut off your family for your own safety?

The saying is that blood is thicker than water. That family means more than anything, and that they should be important to you. If that is true for you, I am so happy for you.

However, what do you do when that is not your truth? What do you do when your family becomes toxic to your life? Do you have to put up with them just because they are your family? And where do you draw the line when you walk away?

It would be nice if we all had a perfect family, a perfect way to grow up. However, that just isn't the case for a lot of us. Sometimes, even if your family isn't healthy in any way, you can find a way to deal with it. Maybe you move away from your family so that you only see them occasionally. That is a great way to keep the peace. Especially if you don't want to cut them off totally, but you also want to keep your distance.

If you have done anything to improve yourself, such as therapy. Then you know that the people around you say a lot about you. And they can greatly influence your life. If the people around you, are always positive, then it's hard for you to be negative. However, if the people around you are always complaining and negative, then it's hard to be positive all the time.

If you are working on yourself, trying to get over past drama, or maybe just trying to be a better person, you really need to look at your surrounds. People and your overall environment. If you live with your family, and they are always fighting, then it will be hard to get any peace. If you live in a place that is messy, it's hard to be organized. When you are in a dark place, or just unhappy, really look at your situation from the outside. Look at it like you are watching a movie. It's hard to see the truth when you are in the situation.

For me, it was looking at the situation like someone had done it to my daughter. I will tolerate a lot more being done to me, but if someone were to do it to her, then that would be a problem. I realized that it shouldn't be like that. If it's not okay for her, then it shouldn't be okay to be done to me. You have to be the example for your kids. They learn from everything that they see being done to you, and how everyone treats you. So make sure that you are showing them the right things.

If you don't know it, you deserve only the best. No matter what has happened to you, or what you did to anyone, you still deserve only great things. And it's okay to not accept anything less.

So when is it okay to cut your family off? Really the answer is anytime, or at least I feel like it should be. Just because they are your family doesn't mean that you have to put up with bad behavior. If they bring negativity to your life, or you feel like they are not helping you move along, then really look at your relationship. Maybe it's not cutting them off totally. But it doesn't mean that they have to be so present in your life. It's okay. Don't let anyone try to convince you that you have to put up with being treated badly. You don't deserve that.

First, set boundaries. Make sure that you make it known what you will and won't accept. It's okay to set your standards.

Then if they get broken, it's up to you to really stick to it. Make sure you remind them of your standards, and what is not okay with you.

If they won't stick to your boundaries, then it's up to you what the final resolute will be. It's okay to cut them off, especially if they won't treat you right and are not helpful to your healthy journey. People should be there to help and improve you.

But before you cut anyone off, make sure that you try to set up your boundaries first. So that they understand what will happen, but also for yourself. You will gain a lot of strength by knowing that you can set boundaries for yourself.

Don't let anyone tell you that you have to accept bad behavior. Even if it's from your family. You have the right to surround yourself with happy, positive people. Anyone who is not going to improve your life, or be there to support you, you have the right to not have them in your life.

You are worthy of being treated well.

-T