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Is It True That Dating Can Help You Get To Know Yourself?

Why Knowing Yourself Is Important Before Getting into a Relationship

By NizolePublished about a year ago 8 min read
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Is It True That Dating Can Help You Get To Know Yourself?
Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

When you are in love, you become aware of all the tiny things... However, we often go through this similar phase while we're single. It's time to discover who you are.

Our favorite double-edged weapon is a relationship. Being with someone for a large portion of your life might be one of your most fulfilling and thrilling experiences. But nothing is more unpleasant than when (or if) that connection breaks down. And as soon as we end a toxic relationship, we move on to the next one within a matter of weeks.

Many of us feel that finding someone new to love is the greatest approach to deal with our troubles, despite the fact that we may not want to believe it.

It could be overt or covert. We feel happier when a new person enters our lives. Many of our everyday behaviors serve as inspiration to win over the newcomer. We believe that with them, things will be different. Things will improve. The split occurs once again after some more time has passed.

The fact is that we as humans are attracted to a variety of patterns, including this cycle of relationships. We often feel incomplete or lost without a significant someone in our lives. But what if this sensation has another aspect to it? What if experiencing these things is truly normal?

It turns out that we often skip a necessary stage in moving on from relationships. The whole "figuring oneself out" process is done in this phase. You probably spent a fair amount of time getting to know every aspect of your ex. How much of oneself do you still remember after they're long gone?

By Scott Broome on Unsplash

Think about some of these issues:

What are your short- and long-term objectives?

Do you feel satisfied in the areas of your life that matter the most? (Wellness, employment, networking, etc.)

Do you have faith in your skills and abilities?

What brings you joy?

Before starting a new relationship, you should ask yourself questions like these.

It's alright if you don't yet have the answers. The key is that before concentrating on a relationship, you must start by loving yourself and looking inside. Avoid trying to make up for a lack of affection. Positive change in your life generally, in your work, and in your mental health will help to fill the hole.

Before entering a relationship, you should have the following eight life skills.

One benefit of being in a relationship is that you always have a designated cuddling partner and someone to discuss Game of Thrones with. But you've set out to #lovebetter this time because you realize that a relationship is only as strong and healthy as the individuals in it (good for you).

The truth is, there's always space for growth, even if you think of yourself as a healthy spouse! We wanted to provide a few life hacks that would enable you to #lovebetter since 100% of us aren't flawless and will inevitably engage in harmful behavior or be in toxic relationships. We often concentrate on developing our ability to love after we've started dating, but we have a sneaking sense that you already instinctively understand that you are the cornerstone of a strong relationship.

Having said that, learning these fundamental life lessons will definitely make you a better lover, so let's get started!

1. Appreciate the quiet time

Couples tend to start doing things together all too often, particularly in the early stages of a relationship. When spending time with your S.O. is fun, it's crucial to keep your independence while you're in a relationship if you want to be happy in the long term. Regardless of whether you're blissfully alone or in a relationship, it's important to appreciate your alone time. It's crucial to feel completely at ease by yourself, so indulge in everything you like, whether it's taking the dog for a walk, working at a café, or watching that movie you've always wanted to see. Even though I would want to spend every waking moment with my husband, I still value my time alone. It provides me time to unwind, do my job, and engage in self-care.

2. Prevent envy from destroying your relationships.

It might be difficult not to leap to conclusions the following time after being in a toxic relationship where infidelity was involved. Of course, jealousy isn't only reserved for romantic relationships; it may also be aimed towards a friend who always seems immaculate, a colleague who was promoted ahead of you at work, or a sibling who receives all the attention. In more severe situations, jealousy may result in a partner is possessive, which is undesirable behavior! Keep doing you and keep your head up; there's no need to compare yourself to others.

3. Control Your Money

Being financially responsible is always an excellent ability to have, but as we all know, impulsivity may be present throughout the early phases of a relationship. Naturally, you want to impress your new beau, and spontaneous dates are the finest. However, if you do this too often, it rapidly adds up to another monthly expense. Planning dates is made so much easier if you have a clear understanding of your financial restrictions. Some of the most romantic dates are completely free, and an expensive present need not be given in exchange for thoughtfulness.

4. Control Stress

Finding appropriate coping mechanisms for stress is crucial in many facets of life, not only in developing relationships. Yoga classes, strolls around the park, or simply a brief post in your diary at the end of each day may all be used to manage stress. It doesn't have to be that way; much too often, we vent our frustration on those who are dear to us. Finding constructive coping mechanisms for stress outside of your relationship can only improve your ability to relax with your significant other at the end of the day. It's a vicious cycle: adding stress to the relationship simply makes it more stressful. You may avoid becoming angry with your significant other by using good stress management techniques.

My Spanish Marriage Advice ebook is available for free download.

5. Time management expertise

My worst flaw, and it only gets worse while I'm dating, is this one. When I'm in a relationship, I get so focused on spending quality time with that person that it's so simple for me to put off tasks and put them to the side. I've lost track of how many times delaying things because I had plans with my significant other has bit me in the rear! It's important to be time-efficient before starting a relationship. It's good to get caught up in the moment, but it's preferable to make sure you meet deadlines and don't lose sight of reality. Having said that, it is still very possible to get carried away when standing on solid ground. A supportive spouse can undoubtedly help you retain your balance, so be sure to let them know what you need to get done.

6. Make your passions a priority and pursue them.

When you start a relationship, it is tremendously useful to already be following your hobbies. I consider myself to be one of the fortunate few who has a certain job path and life objectives in mind and is actively working toward achieving them. But as we all know, life doesn't always operate in that manner. Whatever makes you tick shouldn't be put on hold when you join a relationship or at any time throughout it, whether you are actively working toward your objectives, are just beginning to identify them, or merely do so for personal fulfillment. It's simple to put your interests, aspirations, and goals on wait when the "we" mindset begins to rule. Don’t! Having said that, you don't want to become arrogant and prioritize your wants over those of your significant other. Finding a good balance is very feasible. Whatever your pre-relationship interests were, they are still there; having a partner just adds an incredible person to your support system. Additionally, they are not worth your time if they don't support your aspirations and interests.

7. Recognize oneself

What impact do your activities have on others? What tasks do you still have to complete? Try not to be too harsh while doing this. What type of person are you not in a relationship? When you're dating, what type of a partner are you? Before you engage anything significant, it's vital to ask these questions. Being fully aware of who you are can only contribute to a stronger relationship with your spouse. Learning about oneself is equally as important as learning about someone else.

You like binge-watching those terrible films about conspiracies? Own it. You've chosen to ignore the craft beer craze and are content with a $2 beer in its place. Request it. You feel anxious at the thought of attending a party? Stop going! Instead, stay home and binge-watch those terrible documentaries. You'll just regret the time you spent attempting to pretend you were someone else because life is simply too short to pretend to be someone you're not. Being authentic from the beginning of a relationship can save you from spending time on the wrong person. There is no use in continuing what you began if they aren't completely into who you are at your heart.

8. Be Totally Unapologetic

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About the Creator

Nizole

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