In Pieces

The apartment was a mess. Moving boxes littered the living room, some yet to be opened, some half emptied on the floor. Emmy sat in the middle of the room next to one open box and a dismembered Ikea desk. She flipped through the small black instructional booklet flanked by nuts, bolts, and screws. Sawyer sat on an unpacked suitcase, on her phone, on the other side of the room.

“What are you supposed to be making,” Sawyer asked, looking over at Emmy.

“A desk.”

“Here, give me the instructions,” Sawyer said, reaching out her hand. She turned so that her back was on the floor and opened the pamphlet.

“My dad would have been so good at putting this together,” Emmy commented.

“There aren’t even words on here, it’s just a bunch of arrows and numbers.”

“Haven’t you ever looked at an instruction manual before? They’re not novels.”

“Did you put all of the eight ‘X’ screws into the right places?” Sawyer asked. Emmy nodded and leaned over to point to Step 11, four steps ahead of where her friend was looking. There.

While Sawyer rearranged herself to get a better look at the pieces, Emmy picked up her own phone. “Did you see Natalie’s post?” Natalie was a mutual friend from high school.

“I think so. It says to put bolt 106792 onto board B.”

“Yup.”

“And screw it in.”

“Can you hand me the screw driver, please?”

“Which screw driver?”

“I don’t know, does it not come with a screwdriver?”

“They have these things instead,” Sawyer said, handing over an L-shaped tool.

“Thanks.” Emmy proceeded with the 106792 bolt and board B stealing glances at the manual to make sure everything was happening in the right order. Sawyer gave her the next instruction but her phone had lit up and she was less interested in whether or not Emmy was actually connecting the right screws and the right panels. Emmy made it a point to lean dramatically over the desk to look at the manual next to Sawyer so that maybe Sawyer would notice and return to helping.

“Do you want to get some food delivered?” Emmy asked finally to get Sawyer’s attention.

“If we finish this.”

“If we finish this.” Emmy repeated this as a statement, a matter of future fact, because it made her feel better. Sawyer’s phone lit up again. Her brow furrowed slightly and her head tilted up towards Emmy quickly, and then back down. She typed.

“I don’t think I’m actually that hungry right now.”

“We could still go out, though. Maybe just drinks?” Emmy squinted at Sawyer, trying to see into her head and phone at the same

“It’s okay if you don’t want to. I just figured since it was our first night here together it might be nice. Fine either way.”

“No, I just had plans to see Natalie and some other people. I can ask her if you can come. I’m sure she’d say yes.” Sawyer knew Natalie would say yes because it was the right thing to do.

Emmy thought for a second. She knew that Sawyer knew that Natalie would say yes. But Emmy also knew that Sawyer and Natalie were closer and had been close through college when the two of them had not.

“Nah it’s okay. It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.”

“That doesn’t really matter, though,” Sawyer countered.

“I just don’t want it to be awkward. I mean, obviously you guys still talk so…”

Sawyer paused. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make things weird.”

“It’s okay.”

“Rubios some other night, though?”

Emmy gave a wry smile, “Okay.” Then, “I have to finish this desk anyway.” Sawyer sat up and grabbed at the instructions. “I can help until I have to leave.” She meant it.

“Don’t you want to do some unpacking of your own?” Emmy asked. Sawyer shrugged it off, saying she’d get to it later.

“When are you leaving?”

“An hour or so, I expect.”

Sawyer handed over another panel, a washer, and a screw. Despite the fact that the two of them had grown apart during college, Emmy still found Sawyer’s presence comforting. The silences were never awkward and of all things, Emmy was grateful that they hadn’t lost that. “I’m glad we’re living together. It’s been a while since we were close like this,” Emmy said finally.

“Yeah,” Sawyer said, looking up quickly, “How have things been for you?”

“Tough. It’s my first time moving without my dad here.”

“Your birthday is coming up, though. That’s exciting.”

Emmy rolled her eyes, “Third birthday without my dad. It could be more exciting.” Sawyer shrugged.

“How’s the present coming?”

“What present?” Sawyer asked.

“You mentioned you were getting me something a while ago.” Sawyer blanked, briefly.

“Oh, yeah, that.”

“Yeah, that.”

“It’s coming. Shipping and what not,” Sawyer spoke deliberately, intentionally. “It may be late.” Emmy didn’t believe her but said she was looking forward to it anyway.

“Sorry,” Sawyer said, interrupting herself. “Do you have a hammer? It says you need to hammer in the 8x nail.”

“No. There’s no hammer,” Emmy said, looking around. “Are you sure?”

Sawyer pointed out the direction on the manual and started crawling across the floor lifting up clothes and boxes to look for it.

“Maybe we can get a rock from outside. Or don’t people put things in shoes and then use a shoe?”

“I think that’s for wine corks, not actual nails.”

“And what screws?”

“These guys,” again, Sawyer pointed. “It’s a new kind.”

Emmy picked up the nails and compared them to the drawing. Each she put down in growing disappointment. “I don’t even see anything like that.” Sawyer stood up and looked around helplessly.

“I’m sure they’re here,” Emmy said firmly.

“I don’t know, Em.”

“The place is a mess, there are things everywhere. The nails are here. What kind of company doesn’t include the nails you need to build a freaking desk.” Sawyer laughed. It wasn’t the company’s fault. Things happen. But it would suck if the desk had to sit in pieces overnight.

“Can you check around you, again?”

“I did. It’s not there. But maybe you’re just mistaking them.”

Sawyer moved a few pieces of clothes as a gesture. Nothing. Emmy, who was now on her hands and knees pushing items to the corners of the room changed the subject as she searched.

“What are you guys gonna do tonight, you think?” Sawyer had taken a seat back on her suitcase and was watching Emmy.

“I dunno. Make margaritas or something. Just hang out. You?”

Emmy came to her knees. “I don’t know. Finish the desk.”

“Okay but you probably won’t be able to. So, besides that.”

“Call my mom. I don’t know. Moving is just bringing up a lot of emotions.” Emmy knew that talking to her mom, in reality, would be helpful. She’d be able to talk to her about Sawyer and maybe this time she’d actually listen to her mom’s speech about not judging Sawyer’s other friendships.

Emmy and Sawyer’s mothers were good friends. They had met through the girls but even after college they still met up to go on walks each week, had coffee, went to lunch. Their relationship made Emmy happy, she liked the idea that the mothers’ interactions mirrored the daughters’.

“You know our moms still hang out, right?” Sawyer nodded in response and so Emmy kept talking. “They’re cute. Still up on each other’s lives and stuff. I hope we’re still like that at their age.” Sawyer looked up and gave a small, conceding smile. “We’re sticking it out, aren’t we? Standing the test of time. I like us.”

“Sure.”

“You don’t seem excited.”

“No, I think we’ll be good roommates.” The girls stared at each other for a second as Sawyers words hung between them in the new apartment.

“That’s it? Just roommates?” Emmy said. She wasn’t angry yet, just hurt.

Sawyer made a noncommittal gesture with her hand. Friends. Roommates. Whatever.

“Thank you for being there for me through everything. I was worried about being alone after all of this and technically we’re fine, we have the money now, but it just sucks because it’s my dad I miss, I don’t care about the other stuff and being alone would be the worst.

“I know,” Sawyer said. Emmy paused. Sawyer looked up.

“You know?” Emmy hadn’t told anyone about the money.

“Yeah, my mom told me,” Sawyer responded.

“What do you mean?” And this time it was Sawyer who paused. She put her phone on the ground in a gesture that looked to Emmy like a bit of a surrender, a cower.

Emmy was hurt. Sawyer hadn’t realized Emmy didn’t know about the deal. “My mom just said you were having a tough time and that you needed a friend. Your mom mentioned it to mine. That us living together would be a good idea.”

Emmy took a step back. She felt as if she’d been slapped in the face. “I thought living together was your idea, Sawyer?”

Now, both girls stood, staring at each other over the partially put together desk. Sawyer stalled, unsure. Emmy was confused, betrayed, and broken.

Emmy’s dad had taken out a large life insurance policy against himself. When he died, the money went to Emmy and her mom. The weeks and months after her father’s passing were tough for Emmy, especially leaving her friends from college and coming back to the west coast. Over the course of a few walks, Emmy and Sawyer’s mothers had concluded that it would be nice to see the girls back together.

It was Sawyer’s plan to move in with Natalie after college but with the life insurance money, if Sawyer moved in with Emmy, her mom would cover her rent and pay her an additional stipend of twenty thousand dollars.

“TWENTY THOUSAND?!” Emmy screamed.

“I thought you knew!” Sawyer yelled back.

“Twenty thousand dollars and you were still going to go off on the first night we were here together with Natalie? What a joke.”

“I thought we’d be good roommates, Em.” Sawyer said, trying to move towards her. Emmy walked to the opposite corner of the room.

“It’s one big pity party and even my mom is in on it. Roommates. Not friends.”

“I just think we’re at different places in our lives, I don’t know. We need space.”

Emmy scoffed. “Weird that you think it’s okay for you to have space AND twenty thousand dollars.”

Sawyer pleaded. “I’ll still be here. You won’t be alone. That’s what matters, right? And I’ve been there for you. Through all of it.”

“What do you want me to say? Thank you? Great job? You’ve reached your support quota? You’re supposed to be there for me. That’s what friendship means.”

Sawyer leaned down and picked up her phone, conceding to the situation, acknowledging the hurt. “I’m sorry. I thought you knew about the money. I thought, over the last four years you felt that we were growing apart. We’ve been really invested in each others’ lives and I don’t know if it’s been healthy. But I’m here. The money isn’t going to get in the way of that.”

Emmy sat back down on the floor. She picked up a leg of the desk and held it up attempting to shoo Sawyer out the door. “Just leave. Go hang out with Natalie.”

“Are we good?” Sawyer asked even though she didn’t expect a positive answer.

“Sure, I guess. And I’ll be fine if that’s really what you’re asking. Go.”

Sawyer stood in the doorway and looked back at Emmy. “I can call tomorrow about the screw. We can put the desk together, at least.”

“Yeah,” Emmy said, “at least.”