I'm Not Getting Paid Enough For This

Allow me to begin by saying I love my husband’s family. In my opinion, I love them just as much as he does.

When my husband and I first started dating, his family treated me as though I were already one of them. My husband became a widower the year before we met. I’d been divorced for about fifteen years.

Second marriages aren’t always easy but when you have a family of in-laws that open their arms and accept you immediately, it makes life a lot simpler.

My husband is one of nine children. One passed away years before we met. While I never had the opportunity to meet Harry, I met his widow, Joan, and their children.

Although a few of his brothers were on the quiet side, others were more extroverted as were his sisters. They all were friendly and loving.

When I say we were one big happy family, it’s said with the absolute truth.

Through the years, as each sibling aged and their health weakened, communication became more important. The siblings covered many states which made visits infrequent and phone calls more important. The problem was that while they enjoyed speaking to each other, my husband is not a telephone person. In fact, he really hates speaking on the phone and avoids it as much as possible.

Time past and now there are three of them left which includes my husband. While in my own mind, he should make more of an effort to call his siblings, in his mind, he will when he has time. My husband is over eighty and retired. I insist he can make time. He reminds me that he’s too busy doing the gardening and general maintenance on the house. We don’t live in a run-down, ramshackle house. It’s twenty years old and in exceptionally good condition. He can take twenty minutes out and call his siblings.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t. I do.

Don’t get me wrong. He loves his family but as much as he loves them, he hates phones even more.

I couldn’t help but wonder if we lived like the Native Americans of decades ago where they relied on smoke signals, would our ashes turn to ice long before he’d contact them. Huh! Probably.

His remaining brother calls at least three times a week and leaves messages such as:

“Hey, wanted to say hello and check in. Call back.”

“It’s me again. Haven’t heard from you. Hope everything’s ok. Call back.”

“Uh, what’s going on? Is something wrong? Call back.”

“Come on, really? What’s your problem? Call me back today! Damn it.”

I give my husband the messages. He ignores them. No, he isn’t angry with his brother. Their relationship is fine. It’s my husband’s problem with phones.

The other problem is that his brother is an invalid, living in a nursing home, and has nothing to do. My husband keeps himself busy with yard work, and other things around the house. He never was one to sit still. There lies a good portion of the problem. His brother doesn’t understand why my husband won’t call him back immediately or why he doesn’t answer the phone in the first place. My husband says his brother should find a hobby to occupy his time.

Today, I found another messages on my husband’s phone. I said, “Don’t shoot the messenger but please listen to your brother’s message.” He did. Then he grabbed the phone and said, “That’s it! I’m going to straighten this out once and for all!”

I tried reminding him that his brother lived over a thousand miles away, has no one to visit him, is easily bored. He’s just looking to have someone to talk to. My husband remined me that he has things to do.

His sister called but is still trying to get used to her new cell phone. She kept disconnecting herself. She’d call and lose the connection. I’d call her back and she’d lose the connection again. This went on for fifteen minutes and then finally, rather than wait for her make her weekly call, I just called her. However, she would still manage to disconnect the call. After about three months, I just stopped calling and didn’t return her calls. I might try again tomorrow. I saw no point in telling this to my husband since there really wasn’t anything to say. I knew that with time, she’d figure out her new cell phone.

After that bit of thunder-rolling atmosphere involving my brother-in-law, I received a text from my sister-in-law stating she was out of the hospital and staying with her daughter. I walked out the back door and said, “Jane called.” Before I could relay the message, he looked at me with daggers coming out of his eyes. I interrupted him. “Hey, just a quick message,” I began. “She’s fine, out of the hospital, and staying with her daughter.” “Oh, ok” he said and calmed down. I know tonight, once dinner is finished, he’ll call his sister. Maybe I can even get him to call his brother. At least, they’ll be quieter conversations than the one he had earlier.

It's the same problem when his friends call. Or at least it was. They’ve gotten to know him so now they call me! Yes, they call me saying, “Please ask Rich to call.” We’ve arranged for every doctor who treats my husband, to call my cell phone, and gives me the necessary message.

As I said, he hates phones.

Oh boy! It seems the older we get, the less patience we have. There are times when I could smack Alexander Bell on the head and say, “Why did you ever invent such a troublesome instrument?” There are so many times it comes in so handy but then there are the other times!!

As I walked away toward the house shaking my head, my first thought was, “I’m not getting paid enough for this.” Then I laughed at myself when I realized, “Hey, wait! I’m not getting paid at all!”