I Love You More Than All The Poop In My Butt

Max was sad, again. He felt totally alone. I’m always in trouble. It’s always my fault. Why doesn’t Mum ever get angry at Jimmie?

Jimmie was Max’s younger brother. Jimmie is always the favourite. Mum loves him more. It’s like she loves him so much that there isn’t any love left for me.

“Who left all the clothes on the floor?”, Mum shouted from the bedroom. I froze, instantly. I remember Mum asking me to pick up all my clothes before bath time, take out the rubbish and put the mailing boxes in the kitchen, but I totally forgot.

“Max, how many times do I need to ask you to pick up all your clothes? Your room looks like a bomb has exploded. And the carpet is all wet. Who left the water running in the bath? MAX, why did you leave the tap running? The WHOLE bathroom is flooded. EVERYTHING is ruined”, Mum shouted.

This time, I knew things were REALLY bad. I can’t remember leaving the tap running.

“Maybe Jimmie turned it on, Mum”?

“Don’t blame your brother, Max. You’re old enough to know a whole lot better and you should always tell the truth” Mum said, in a very disappointed tone. “Just go straight to bed, Max. I’ll be in to speak with you soon”.

I raced to bed. Kicked the mess onto the floor and I hid under the covers. I imagined how much trouble I was really in this time. What would Mum say when she came in? I felt scared. I felt alone.

Why does this always happen? I thought to myself. I stayed in bed. Curled up in a ball. I wished and prayed things would be different. I could hear Mum and Jimmie laughing and singing a bedtime story in his room. They were happy. She loved Jimmie. I can hear her happy tone in her voice and his fits of giggles. I just want Mum to love me too. Just like Jimmie.

“Goodnight Jimmie. I love you all the way to the moon and back” she said.

“I love you all the way to the moon, around 10 times and then back” giggled Jimmie.

“Wow, that’s a lot of love. Good night sweetheart”.

“Good night, Mum”.

I could hear the light switch in Jimmie’s room and Mum walking towards my bedroom. I wiped away my tears and stayed hiding under the covers.

“Max, are you awake?”. Mum peaked in from the door.

Max laid very still.

“Tomorrow is a new day. Let’s make it a fun one. Just you and me. Jimmie will be away at Nanna’s house and I can’t wait to spend the day with just us. I love you, Max” Mum whispered softly.

“You don’t love me” Max cried. “You are cross at me again. I’m always in trouble. You only love Jimmie”.

“Of course I love you, Max”. Mum came and sat on the bed.

“Why did you say that? I love both you and Jimmie with all my heart. Even if I get angry at your behaviour sometimes, I still love you. My love for you will never change. I love you all the way to the moon, around 100 times and back, Max”.

I didn’t believe her.

“I can’t see it. You don’t love me” Max cried.

“Love isn’t something you can see, Max. It is something you believe in and just know. It’s how you feel. How about I try to show you, to help you see exactly how much love I have for you? Will that help?”

Mum thought for a minute. “Hmmm. I love you more than all the water in the ocean”.

Max stayed silent.

“I love you more than all the trees in the forest”.

Max rolled over to face his Mum.

“I love you more than all the donuts in the world”.

Max smiled.

“I love you more than all the hair on Daddy’s back”!

Max giggled.

“More. I still can’t see it” Max said.

Mum sat on the bed and thought for a minute. What is something that Max would really laugh at, so he could see just how much she really loved him. She glanced around the room and saw the huge pile of mess, her mailing boxes that were meant to be in the kitchen and a suspicious looking package wrapped in brown paper, which smelt terrible.

“Oh, I’ve got it”, Mum said excitedly. “I love you more than all the poop in my butt”.

Max’s eyes widened. He couldn’t believe what he just heard.

Fits of laughter erupted.

“WHAT”, Max asked. “Did you just say POOP”?

“Yes, that’s right. I love you more than all the poop in my butt. I have so much poop, it has built and built and built. Until it exploded. It’s a GIGANTIC POOP EXPLOSION”.

“POOP EXPLOSION”? Max screamed in total shock.

“That’s right. There’s so much poop, it fills our whole house. It’s caked on the ceiling. It’s dripping from the roof. It’s even running down the walls” said Mum.

“Awww yuck” Max laughed as he rolled across the bed in fits of giggles.

“Turn on the fan, Max! More poop will fling across the room”! Mum announced.

“It’s like a volcano of poop erupted and now we have to swim in it!”.

Poop has now filled the whole house. Max can see they are completely covered.

“STOP there’s TOO much poop, Mum”. Max shouted.

“Really? How do you know there’s TOO much poop?” she questioned Max.

“Because I’m drowning in it, Mum. It’s everywhere. I have poop stuck all over me. I’ll smell like poop forever” Max laughed.

Mum hugged Max tight and kissed him on the forehead.

“So now you can see how much I love you, Max. You have to remember that sometimes you can’t see it, but you can feel it inside. Feeling the love and knowing it’s there even when you can’t see it, is the best kind of love. That’s believing. That’s a special kind of magic. That’s knowing you will always have love around you. Always”.

Max thought for a minute. He remembered how much poop there was everywhere! He remembered all the poop on the walls, the floor, the roof and being completely covered from head to toe.

“So does the stinky smell of poop ever go away, Max?” Mum asked.

“Never” Max said. “I love you more than all the poop in my butt too, Mum”.