I do... Celebrate Christmas

It's Christmas Eve and just like everything else, I'm celebrating in pretense because well, past this year, I've never celebrated Christmas! It wasn't really by choice either, my immediately family- Mom, Dad and brother, we have never celebrated Christmas. From as far back as I can remember, my family never celebrated anything, not even birthdays. I grew up in the Caribbean on a very small island named Antigua. I remember kids asking me how it felt to not celebrate anything because Caribbean people are very ceremonious. I don't recall ever "missing out," my parents did a great job celebrating life. We had parties at the house all the time, kids parties, potato sack races, racing with an egg on a spoon, a one-legged race where two people tie their legs together and try to run as a team. I had a great childhood, a lot of fun times and a lot of freedom.

Today, I can confidently say that Christmas means different things to different people. The longtime tradition is now being questioned in many homes because well, we all know who Santa really is. He doesn't live in the North Pole, doesn't have a flying team of reindeers or midget elves... Society has done a lot to preserve the tradition though. The children's Christmas stories and new movie releases are never ending. Not to mention the décor all over town, lights in trees, red bows on stoplights, Christmas music in every convenience store. The Macy's Day Christmas Parade! Macy's are going bankrupt, but they're still having the parade this year! Covid can't cancel Christmas. Christmas is the biggest fairytale and everyone's in on it. I'm an actor, I totally get it. Pretense is my thing! I have a big imagination, always have and probably always will despite the occasional disillusionment.

This year, however, feels different. I started questioning Community at the beginning of the year, right before Covid hit. I've belonged to a few, very vastly different communities in my lifetime so far... My paternal family in the Caribbean are very ceremonious- they have a Catholic Christmas every year. Early to mass, bullet point itineraries most of which, I've never actually partook in. I do miss the Caribbean fruit cake, it's laced with rum, you should try it. They also use it in weddings, you can freeze the cake and eat it all year long, take it out of the freezer for special occasions. Usually the cake is stored in cans, big round cans.

My Mom's family who I've spent most of my non-celebrating holidays with are great cooks. It's a large family and every holiday, without the actual holiday theme, we would get together and they would cook and chat in the kitchen for hours. One cousin in particular began a catering business, she also makes the best Christmas fruit (rum) cakes. While there was a concerted effort to not acknowledge the holiday for religious reasons, each holiday was definitely spent celebrating. Hey, if it's your life goal to be a truth seeker and not participate in the pretense that is the cornerstone of Western culture, that's totally your prerogative. It all comes back to that word, Community.

This year, I'm hosting Christmas dinner at my place, in California. A long ways from home and definitely a first. I'm making homemade guacamole and baking salmon! I'm a pescatarian, vegetarian who also eats vegan so I'm not going to make a traditional Christmas dinner. I'm also not a big cook, if I could, I would munch on raw veggies 24'7, so I elicited my co-worker's help. He spent 7 hours cooking a Thanksgiving dinner that fed a large community. He will cook the traditional, Christmas ham and it will be perfect. Who am I? Am I liking tradition? Why now? There's a saying in California, "find your tribe." Maybe I've finally found mine...

The world has also seemed to become a lot smaller this year. The traditions that we may have taken for granted in years past, suddenly mean the world to us. For all the families who have lost loved ones this year to Covid or racial injustices, tradition might be the only thing to bring some familiarity and love their way this year. Make believe or... just believe. Christmas is at the end of the year, whether or not it's actually Jesus birthday, which no one can seem to prove, is besides the point. People want to believe what they want to believe. Who cares what I believe, right? I believe in happiness, togetherness and community and that's always a great way to end the year. I look forward to finding out how my friends who are coming over typically celebrate the holiday. Two of whom are Nigerian-American and one is Jewish-Jamaican. This is gonna be good! Merry Christmas from my tribe to yours.