How to romance your partner

I have been married twice and divorced twice. As a naturally romantic soul (Leo, same thing), my romantic advances were wasted on two exes who were not receptive to such things. For those who don’t know, sexless marriages are no fun. So I put away my book of romantic practices and never expected to use them again. But lately, I have dusted the old book off and recalled how to shower a woman with adoration, attention and very creative situations. This series will showcase some ways I’ve determined to be quite romantic. Anyone can use them, so feel free to steal my knowledge and make the world a better, more loving place.

First, you may want to do something as simple as writing to your lover, and then read it to them. Write poetry, a short story or a list of romantic questions. Make it an event. Set the mood by lighting some candles, pouring glasses of wine and putting on some music. I personally prefer Neo-Soul, but find your own preference. Take your time with the reading and do so in your most seductive tone. You may feel this is silly, but then, have you ever attended a spoken word event with expert poets. Especially of the erotic variety? If those poets can arouse a room full of people with just their words, then so can you with your lover.

A second grand romantic gesture is massage. That word may scare some because they may feel they are novices in that area. No worries. I will walk you through it. Touch is something that all humans desire and need. And I am not speaking of sexual touch, that’s another topic entirely. Intimate touch with your lover is more than just bringing them to orgasm. Sensual and erotic massage can do wonders to prepare them for lovemaking, but it can also relax them to the point of taking a nap. That may sound like a hindrance to romance, but trust me. They will reward you once the nap is over.

So again, set the mood. That is tantamount to this making your lover feel special. Take their favorite lotion and have them get comfortable in a sitting position. Yes, sitting. Most people immediately think massage is having them lay down, but for this method, we are doing something completely different.

Squeeze a bit of the lotion in your hand and rub it in. Not too much now, just enough to cover your hands. Then take one of your lover’s hands in yours and massage their hand. Slowly and meticulously, massage the palm, the back of the hand and each individual finger, one at a time. Massage the spaces between the fingers then massage the wrist area. Repeat that process again, even slower this time. When you are done, place your palm against theirs and hold that for a full minute.

Now squeeze a little lotion into your hand and take their other hand in yours and repeat the process. Don’t forget to end with placing your palm against their palm and holding it there for one minute.

When that is done, have them place their legs across your lap and do the exact same thing to their left foot, including giving attention to the spaces between their toes. And just as with their wrist, massage their ankle as well as their calf. Again, you want to perform this action twice and end by placing your full palm across the sole of their foot and holding it there for one minute. Repeat this process on their other foot. This full massage will relax them completely and they may literally be asleep by the time you are done, or very close. In my experience, I have then been able to take my lover into my arms and hold her while she slept.

A third way to be romantic is to just listen. Your significant other will unknowingly give hints all year about things they like or want. Write those items down and then surprise him or her with something on the list on major holidays or as a just because gift. They will be so surprised that you were paying attention.

Yet another idea is to plan a surprise getaway. And I mean a serious spontaneous outing. Book a hotel room, even if it’s in your home state, and don’t let your significant other know until the last minute. Have them pack an overnight bag and then drive them to the hotel. You can take a day or more and just pamper him or her. Leave the hotel and go sightseeing. Visit landmarks, museums, and things of that nature. Rent bikes and ride around the city. Do things you never consider during your normal busy schedules. Then have dinner at a fancy restaurant. Or if you feel you can get away with it, do something less fancy, such as a restaurant you have heard them rave about wanting to try.

Finally, schedule a play date. And no, I am not talking about sex. I mean a literal play date. Pull out games, coloring books, art supplies etc. Put pillows and blankets on the floor and release your inner child. Draw pictures, play UNO, see who has the best coloring skills. Order pizza and just enjoy each other’s playful side. Put on some of your favorite music and take as much time as you like having fun together. The seriousness of life will be there when you’re done, so don’t rush back to that if you can avoid it. You have limited time with your mate and work can wait.

I hope these ideas breathe life into your relationship. I’ll be back soon with more great relationship ideas.

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