Grieving with a Step-parent's Death

58 days ago, 2:08 PM, I was given the news that I had lost my step mom. It’s hard to process something like that when just hours earlier you were leaving for school and everything seemed normal.

The homecoming danced I had look forward to was coming up and my friends and I were talking about what we might wear that night as I was called down to the office confused because I didn’t recall doing anything wrong, although I had no idea what was ahead me within the next couple minutes. I immediately texted my dad asking if Hunter (my step brother) was okay because I was asked over and over again who I lived with. Being confused with no answer, sitting by myself, I began to call my dad who had just arrived home.

By this time students were starting to leave and the bell had rung dismissing everyone. When my dad picked up his phone, he was crying and confused and said, “Something horrible happened,” and “I love you, I love you so much.” After this, I began to cry and immediately tried calling my step brother who didn’t answer because he was in class with no information as to what had happened.

Eventually a counselor walked in to calm me down and I still didn’t know what my dad knew. Eventually a police officer with glasses and a small wrinkled faced walked in with a disappointed expression on his face. As he walked over and sat down beside me, he began to say the words “I’m sorry f-“ but before he could finish I mumbled “No, no what happened?!” He went on to tell me Julie had passed away unexpectedly and they didn’t have an answer why this horrible thing had happened.

I thought for sure I was having a nightmare and slowly closed my eyes and clenched my teeth as hard as I could. I was moved to the counselor's office that had calmed me down moments before. I wasn’t allowed to call my dad and was forced to call my mom.

Eventually my sister who was on her way to work picked me up and brought me to my mom's apartment where my dad eventually picked me up that night and we returned to our house, confused and broken. The police had thrown things, taken things, unorganized things as if we were all suspects.

The next several days were a complete blur. My dad and I visited Hunter and Julie’s mother the days after and family had begun to arrive from Alabama and help us set a "celebration of life." That night hunter and I went on a bike ride and that was the first time since everything had happened that I was a little happy.