From Mistress To Wife

Can a marriage be successful if both partners were involved in an affair?

Having the Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber drama around the corner, this conversation is necessary. Stars aligned, and I discovered a couple of days before this question on social media.

I was his mistress and now his wife. What should I do to avoid being cheated on like his wife?

Of course, like most women I’ve started to think that she deserves it and there is no hope for her now. Karma is here and is payback time.

Shortly after this thought, I was thinking that maybe she needs a piece of good advice. At the end of the day, she seems like she wants to have a functional relationship.

But, how functional can be any relationship after a complex situation like this? When seen so many movies and series about this topic. For example, Closer or Why Women Kill Man.

You see the pain in those women. There is no happiness when cheating is involved.

Getting married is not going to fix the problem. This can amplify everything.

Women tend to fall in love with words and believe them. They think that a man that leaves his wife for them is a changed man. He grow up.

‘’He did anything for me and for us’’.

‘’He left behind his old life, just to be with me’’.

Maybe there are a few exceptions to this category. Maybe there are men out there who after leaving their wives they became another person with their ex-mistress, now wife.

Let’s focus on the situation where the men don’t change. What do you do?

Do you try all the things that you did before you were his wife? Or did you adapt another strategy? Let’s clear the air out here.

You knew his mindset and his behavior from the beginning. There is no surprise here. Nothing changed. Except for your perspective. You don’t like it now because it happens to you, but in the past you accepted it. How do you expect him to act like a saint when you encouraged him to cheat?

You were his food and now this food has become poison for you.

Even if you are the wife now, his behavior is not changing. Is not about you, is about him and how he sees relationships. This attitude was before you. He changed the character but not the scenario.

You have now the rank of a wife, and you are treated as he treated his ex-wife.

Everything is back to normal. Now, you are the WIFE, and FUN, is out there, and he needs it. Is like an addiction. He can’t avoid it.

You asked him to change a behavior that you’ve been accepting for years. Nothing is going to change in a second. If you are committed to staying by this man’s side, keep in mind that this transition will take some good years.

Therapy. As soon as possible.

And that are the 2 only things that you could do. Take some time and invest in therapy.

Of course, nobody guarantees you that these 2 things will transform him. Nope! But, maybe this will give you a sense that you did anything to save this relationship.

Also, in this kind of situation, I think that is better to ask for forgiveness from those you hurt. Even if you can’t talk with them about this, it doesn’t mean that we are not connected.

Have a moment with yourself and ask for forgiveness. As much as you can and feel.

God love us all, no matter what we are doing.

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