Fort Mother

As waves of pain hit her she grits her teeth and bares down. She knows it will end soon. This will bring good things this pain and so she bears it happily.

She is on all fours rocking back and forth in her birthing bed looking like a crazy woman to some but this, this is primal. This is something that several thousand woman both before and after her have done and will do. She will bring her baby forth the way she was meant to and not laying on her back on a bed.

She paces, she rocks, she dances to the Christian music that gives her peace and comfort and all the while she talks to her baby girl. "Come on my girl, we've got this. You've got this."

They wanted to go in and get her and a C-section was the last thing this mama wanted. She had had to have the inducing medicine Pitocin with her son and she felt it took something away from her birthing experience.

A strange one yes perhaps but she wanted to feel it, all of it. She needed to feel connected to this baby and know everything she was feeling and to also be able to feel her own body.

With her son she was so young, she had gotten scared and tensed her body up so much that it wasn't able to do it's job. She connected with her son after the pain, this time she wanted it to happen during the birthing process.

It still amazed her how she could feel the baby moving down out of her womb and into the birth canal. She had felt her son too.

She reminded herself as she prepared to push to focus on the doctor's face and his instructions. A focal point was key because there was so much pain at this point her vision was blurring around the edges.

The pain was good though as it meant her body was doing it's job.

Now push....1,2,3...and breath....and push...1,2,3...etc.

Soon her baby girl was in her arms. They had done it together!

Mothers and women in general are amazing creatures.

Our bodies are put through more pain than your average person will ever feel in a lifetime and yet after the baby is born, our memory blurs.

The sleepless nights to the point where we feel like walking zombies, forgetting everything including who we are except the fact that we are mothers.

We know one thing and one thing only after we become mothers- that living, breathing being depends on us to survive and thrive.

And that, is all that matters.

As it suckles from our breast or from the bottle which holds the baby's nourishment, as our baby cuddles next to us, as our baby gets cleaned and he or she's every need/want tended to, our baby knows that without us their world would shatter.

It's the middle of the night and your child is spiking a high fever, throwing up repeatedly perhaps or cannot breathe well...you stay up watching them.

You keep them cool, feel their chest to be sure they are breathing, hold the trash can up to them at every sound to be sure to catch the phlegm.

Your child is scared, they've had a nightmare. You let them into bed with you so in the morning when you wake they'll still feel safe and you will have a foot in your face.

They are so very precious, all of them and that foot is something you cannot replace.

So my children I, your mother, will be your fortress always and forever.

I will do whatever I can to help you feel safe when you are afraid and I will try to make you feel better.

I will give you my all, my everything because that is what you are to me.

I will show you how to love yourself also and take care of you because that my dears will truly set you free.

When the storms come because they will my dears, know that I will be your lighthouse.

I cannot fight all your battles for you because you have to learn to fight for yourselves however I will be your shoulder to cry on and offer a word of advice.

I want you to know that you can always come home my dears, my home is your home. I do not care how old you are or the circumstance.

Please always be honest and true, work hard my dears for your dreams and remember to dance!

I will always fight for you and for the good in you. I love you both always and forever...

-Mom