Erectile dysfunction wrecks havoc on wives but not in the way you think

Erectile dysfunction is described as when a man cannot obtain and or maintain an erection. This medical issue can cause problems for wives but not in the way that most people might assume. Many older women say they don't mind if their husband can no longer make love as he used to and that they will be satisfied just knowing they are loved. This is where the problem comes in and the elephant in the room needs to be addressed.

Today on the CBS soap The Bold and the Beautiful, Quinn Forrester cheated on her husband Eric with Carter Walton. Eric was not having issues with impotence but simply could not get past his wife's recent indiscretions and lost desire for her. Quinn put on a negligee and her favorite perfume and attempted to seduce her spouse but he turned her down, Her need to feel sexy and appreciated led her to have sex with her husband's friend and employee.

Most wives are not sex-starved like Quinn and are not willing to jump into bed with just any man. They love their husband and only want to be with him. There are women who tell their spouse that they are willing to find other ways to please him, or that they don't have to have sexual intercourse and only want to feel loved. The problem comes in with the man's attitude which often is shaped during childhood. This is especially true in the African American community.

Men who are now in their 60's and 70's are Baby Boomers and grew up with certain mindsets. I know men who said that older males in their community began coaxing them to "be a man" and have sex as young as 9 years of age. Mindsets were formed because of the interference of the older men. This is why so many males really believe that their manhood is defined by the organ that is between their legs. Rather than seek medical assistance for ED issues, these men suffer in silence because they are embarrassed.

They believe that by being unable to obtain and or maintain an erection they are a disappointment to their wives. The woman will emphasize that she cares more about affection, such as hugging, kissing, and holding hands, or being told she is loved. Instead of reassuring the wife that she is loved these men refuse to offer any type of affection at all. They stop hugging, kissing, holding hawinds and no longer say I love you.

A few of these males have given an explanation that is probably true for the majority and the wives have shared hoping it will help other women understand what is going on. Those men who addressed the issue say that they are afraid if they hold their wives intimately, they might experience feelings of arousal but be unable to follow through with making love.

The wives are willing to accept their spouse as is and experiment with other ways to express affection besides sexual intercourse but the men are often unwilling. The consensus seems to be that if they cannot function as amna the way they did years ago, then they don't desire any contact at all with their wives. These are women who are not wanting divorce, or an extra marital affair but only some sign their spouse still cares.

Each wife has to choose whether or not she can remain in a marraige where she is not receiving intimacy and her husband now seems more like a brother. There are other ways to express intimacy in a relationship and this is what some women say helps them cope. Taking walks with the spouse, shoping together or just sitting on a porch talking are enough for some females. Sharing secrets and just talking, even about health problems is still a form of intimacy and may help aceptance of the new normal.

A loving gesture such as a birthday or spending time with the grandchildren can mean a lot. This may not work for a woman of 20, 30, 40, or perhaps even 50 who need intercourse as part of their daily lives. Older women, however find that they crave being intimate more than the sex act itself. If you can find ways to enjoy time with your spouse such as watching a movie, going fishing or other activities this will keep the intimate bond, only not in the same way as when you were younger.

In some cases the men have underlying health issues such as peripheral artery disease, diabetes, or heart disease. Decades of smoking cigarettes, alcoholism, or drug abuse have rendered a number of males unable to respond even to Viagara and this leads to depression. The women I spoke with and read about on line say their husbands do not want to talk about the issue with them or their doctors.

There is a belief among wives that a lot of the problem stems from childhood, where older males told younger men, even little boys that their manhood is tied up in their sexc organ. When these men get older and are unable to perform, they give up because they feel like they are not really a manl. This is why when a wife complements them, says I love you, or only wants a hug or a kiss on the cheek they refuse.

Pride comes into play and there are women who have not had any intimacy with their spouse in years for this reason. There are others whose husband died and because of erectile dysfunction and underlying health conditions the couple became distant. This is not always something you can detect from the outside because you may see this man and woman out at the grocery store, church or ther public places and they seem affectionate towards one another.

Sometimes, in front of others the husband might hold his wife's hand, or give her a hug in order to give the illusion that all is well. It also might be that the husband is dealing with issues of balance and needs to hold on to his wife to steady himself but those looking on don't know this. The information in this article is designed to open the eyes of women who are suffering in silence, not because they miss sex, but because they miss being loved.

Right now there are females in their 50s, 60's 70s and 80s who desire to make love to the man they married but have accepted that he can no longer perform. The problem is that these men have checked out mentally where their wives are concerned, but may express affection to grandchildren or pets because it is not supposed to lead to anything more.

These men do not desire divorce but it's almost as if they now view their wives as roommates.When they are with their wives, they are afraid that holding them, slow dancing to a favorite song, or even snuggling in bed will only be a remider that they can no longe follow through with intercourse. Some wives have said that their spouse seems irritated should they dress sexy and act as if this has angered them. Again, what is really going on is that this reminds the man of what he is looking at but cannot posess as he once did.

Erectile dysfuntion, and related health issues is especially true within the African American community where soul food diets play a large part in health in later years. If you or your spouse are dealing with this situation please don't suffer in silence and speak to your health care provider. ED can be a result of clogged arteries and other serious health issues which is why viagra and other medications stop working or never worked at all.