Don’t Panic! It’s Just A Baby.

The day has finally come after a long and emotional nine months of carrying a growing human being inside of you. You have brought a new addition into the world, but that new addition may have given you some emotions that can begin to weigh on you.

Being a mother of two, I have noticed that extra amount of stress and pressure you feel after you have had your new bundle of joy. You now have a major amount of responsibilities to take care of another life. The experience can be overwhelming just within the first couple of weeks of being a new mommy. This is just to give a few tips and words of advice to stay sane and calm, and to not have motherhood overpower you.

Sleep While The Baby Sleeps

The most critical thing a mother can do is get as much rest as she possibly can. Every baby is different, but generally babies like to be up in the wee hours of the night after sleeping over two or three hours throughout the day. Or, your baby may enjoy being up during the day, and will sleep longer hours during the night. Either way, you should be going to sleep right along with your child. When the baby is asleep, your best solution for rest is falling asleep right along with them.

I know most new mommies certainly have the fear that something is going to happen to the baby while they sleep. What are you going to do? Never sleep again for the next five years? That’s impossible! It is true that babies need their sleep, and it is true for you too. No sleep equals no energy. That can spark an early stage of postpartum depression, and I feel in my own opinion is the most common way a woman begins to not feel like herself. Not getting enough sleep makes you cranky, and makes you irritable fast. It’s so much easier to just squeeze in as much shut eye as you can. Even if it is for twenty minutes every hour or so. That is enough to keep you energized throughout the day.

Make Pre-Bottles

I know for myself, the most annoying thing was having to keep refilling bottle after bottle with milk because of how much babies eat during the first few months of life. They could be full one second and hungry again the next.

Making pre-bottles make things quicker when it comes to feeding(unless you breast feed). If you use formula bottles, I learned from the nurses at the hospital that it is easier to make at least 24 ounces of milk and store it in a large container in the fridge. Newborns drink 4-6 ounces of milk each feeding, so that will give you either six four-ounce bottles or four six-ounce bottles which would last you most of the day since babies eat every 2-3 hours.

Even with women who pump their breast milk. Every time you feel your breast are swollen and filled with milk, pump and store. They have specific milk storing bags made for storing in the fridge or freezer.

Take Walks

It is very common for women to encounter some form of postpartum depression after having a baby. They feel they have lost a part of themselves they cannot get back after becoming a parent. As a mother myself, I have endured the low feeling of being lost and alone. Knowing that I am no longer a higher priority and have an entire human being to feed, bathe, clothe, and teach to live on their own one day being the best version of themselves.

Taking walks reduce much stress and anxiety. Walking boosts production of stress-busting endorphins in your body, which helps take away the signs of early depression. Keeping your body active is healthy. The more you sit around doing nothing, the more you will feel groggy and tired. Put your baby in the stroller, take in the fresh air, and enjoy the little trip! Babies also love to take strolls outside and take in the sunlight as well.

Hobbies

We all have one or two, or maybe a few things we like to do on our free time that makes us feel good. The extra things that make us who we are and why we like to wake up in the morning. Having your baby is a full time job, there are no breaks from doing so. But, that does not mean you stop doing those things that once brought you joy because of it. Plenty of mothers completely forget about those little poems they used to write, or the drawing they would paint, or even the cookies and cakes they used to bake. Your child is an addition to your life, and should not alter the small things we’ve found to make us happy. Some activities are even fun doing with a child! You just have to find what works for you, and what takes away the stress of being a new mommy.

Write a cookbook, or make a YouTube Channel! Knit your baby some booties, or even make cut out figurines! Whatever it is that makes YOU smile and feel good internally. You will be in the house majority of the time for the next eight weeks (after two months a baby should be fine to be out in public for long periods of time) so finding something to do besides talking to your baby or just sitting around waiting for them to cry or poop for you to have something to do. You were a still a person before you had baby with a life. Continue to live it!

If you don’t have already have something, it is never too late to figure out what is interesting enough for you to not go insane. It’s not about what people would think looks fun or interesting, it’s about no one but you.

RELAX

One thing every new mother does after having a baby is stress over the baby. I was one of the first out of all my friends to have a baby, so once they started their family I got a million questions once their baby was home. When it came to cuddling and nurturing, they were a pro. But, when it came down to how to actually take care of them, they would just overestimate what they should need to do. What I mean is, they don’t give themselves a break. They overthink every decision and freak out about every little thing their newborn does.

Is this enough milk? How long should they sleep? What diapers are the best diapers? Can I comb their hair? Is the wind bad for a newborn baby? Are they supposed to be making noises? Why are they looking all over the place? My baby spit up, is that normal? Should I call the doctor? Can they sit up yet? Can I feed them baby food yet? Do you think I should...

We tend to question every thing we do as a parent and scold ourselves. We go nights with no sleep afraid our child will need us and will not wake or fail to take their next breath. We push ourselves to be fast, inspect every detail, and consider what may or may not be a threat. We want to be perfect and for our child/children to be one hundred percent in every way. Us mothers, literally slowly drain ourselves of energy to protect our own. Everything we do is for them.

Honestly, the only person who will know what is best for your baby is you. The mother. The person who created him/her. No baby is the same, and is mommys can give advice, but what works for our baby may not work for your baby. Your baby may love to eat baby food at three months while your friend’s baby doesn’t want anything yet but milk. One baby might need more attention while another likes to explore and learn on their own. Do whatever makes you and your baby comfortable for the two of you. It may not be in words, but your baby will communicate with you with facial expressions and noises telling you what they like and what they hate. Test out new things and listen to your baby.

Why not sit and finish that show series you began watching? Or sit & paint your toes while the baby sleeps? We have a powerful gift called ‘Mother’s Instincts’ that kick in every time we know something is not okay with our baby. Have you not noticed? You know right away when your baby is choking or crying out of pain? We all know the difference in a “hurt” cry and a fake whine for attention. We all can tell when our baby bothered or uncomfortable. So there is no need to overthink and call the doctor about every detail of their hair or how they got a little heat bump on their face. Most things are too minor and easily fixable for us mothers to have to kill ourselves over. Breathe, girl. Breathe.

I am here to say, it is okay to take that extra nap. It’s okay to leave them in the crib while you use the bathroom. It’s fine to want time alone. It is normal to need a break. You are not a bad mother for being honest with yourself. All women change in one way or the other after having a baby. We love them so much, but we cannot forget to remember to continue to love ourselves with the same value and care.