Diagnosed With Autism, and ADHD I Already Have PTSD

My son William has an incredible caseworker who diligently represents our interests. Her efforts have consistently been in our best favor, always ensuring our needs are prioritized. Despite being on the spectrum herself, her strong advocacy and unwavering determination to effect positive change are evident in her actions.

To Our Amusement

She and I often jest about being in sync with one another. Our thinking aligns, and we share similar upbringing experiences. We have had to create some distance for the sake of our own well-being and personal growth.

We can tell each other about our lives, the best and worst parts that few others know, what we have picked up along the way, and how it has worked for the better or worse, we can talk about how, together, we had to grow tough skin or we never would have made it out of trouble’s path, and how we are both better for it.

Once you find someone who seems to adore what you’re doing (or, perhaps more accurately, who loves your attitude and personality) it’s like finding a rare bird at a feeder: endlessly fascinating, incredibly comforting, and also endlessly surprising. Life after the classroom is a bumpy road at times, but I’m grateful that there are people like her along the way.

My Own Issues Resurfacing

Anyway, as time goes on, memories are gradually resurfacing. As I may have mentioned before, my childhood is a complete blank in my mind, which is not uncommon due to my own personal trauma. Things family members have said to me, being bullied at school when I was younger. As well as struggling academically. And even sexual abuse.

I vividly remember William as a baby, struggling to hold his head up as he should. He reached his milestones later than expected and experienced two unexplained seizures at the ages of 10 and 16. As the memory shifted to me, I too faced similar challenges, with two unexplained seizures occurring at 18 and 22 years old. I always felt out of place growing up and struggled mentally. Just as then I had the strong need to call Williams caseworker to “Check In.” Honestly it was just the need to hear another voice to drown out my thoughts,

William’s caseworker mentioned undergoing an Autism trait assessment, which involves taking a test that and subsequently discussing the next steps with a therapist. This made me feel uneasy, prompting me to request the link regardless. I explained to her that I’ve been reflecting on the resemblances between William and myself during our childhood where we both delayed, even how not to far apart in years we both had seizures. She agreed that was similar and sent me the link.

I have taken the Autism Traits test twice, ( I was in denial the first time) and the results indicate that I exhibit 40 out of 50 traits associated with autism. This revelation sheds light on many aspects of my life. However, it also leaves me feeling uncertain about what steps to take next. I took the time to speak to a few therapists I knew to get a reaction. One smiled and said, “I'm glad you figured it out”. and one said, “I’m not surprised” and they gave me the positive side of it, “You do don’t stop till you have an answer for William”

I’m left speechless. They all could tell but me.

Growing up the choices I made were obviously not good ones, but not by ignorance. I didn’t know how, as simple as the right way as washing the dishes. I was a vulnerable person, and would believe anything anyone would tell me and that put me in complicated situations. So I was just wired differently.