Dear Mama

Born August 1963 to a mother who never really wanted children but for some reason decided to keep her. I am forever grateful for that because obviously me and my three sisters wouldn't be here. Her mother (my grandmother) was an interesting woman indeed. She kept her dressed in the finest clothes yet to give her the basic things like "love" was such a challenge for her.

At a young age my grandmother sent my mom to go an live with my great-grandmother in NY. GG had 13 children and lets just saying having another child to raise was not on her bucket list. Momma said she instilled a lot of good things in her while simultaneously abusive her; weird flex I know. Fast forward to aged 19 and Ummi married my Abu. They had 6 children; two that perished inside the womb and my sister and I. We grew up in the Ansar Allah community under Dr. York and all I will say is google him and you will quickly understand why we left.

Moms moved us to the east coast of NC when I was 6, pops didn't wanna leave NY but he eventually followed. The change of pace and scenery took some time to get used to but we ultimately adapted. We moved frequently because Ummi would never settle for less and always desired better for us. At the age of 8 her and my Abu divorced and this is where the struggles kicked into high gear. As you could imagine raising 4 girls on your own is tough and to top it off pops wasn't send the child support so every need rested on my mother's shoulders. She worked super hard and even as a young girl all I wanted to do was help her but my anger regarding the divorce stifled that desire.

It took years of hard work but by the age of 12 Ummi had saved enough money to where each one of us had a few thousand dollars a piece in our own bank accounts. She came to us one day and asked how would we like to have our own house; before then we had went from the projects to the west side of town and we all know the west side is the ghetto. We were elated and understood the importance of sacrifice and happily gave her the money she saved for us so she could put it with what she saved to purchase the home. Let me tell you about her interior decorating skills.. babyyyy honestly she should have been a designer because the woman can take a 50 dollar chair, redesign it and make it look like it was worth at least 250; straight genius. She taught us that you didn't have to spend a lot to look like you had a lot; a gem I never dropped.

We had one of the FLYEST houses in the neighborhood all designed on a dime; shawty was and still is the GOAT. After months of studying she took her test to work at the USPS and was hired as a LSM operator. Finally she was making great money and had benefits; we were so proud of her. After 11 years on the job, moving extremely heavy pallets that put a strain on her body; one day she got injured and things went downhill from there. She saw how the post office treated their employees and worked them until they had nothing left to give and she decided that enough was enough. She rallied for others and tried her best to get the PO to see that their workers were being mishandled yet the more she pushed the more they punished. Meanwhile she was still working third shift, often falling asleep on the way home from the 45 minute drive to work and yes she got into a few accidents. The last accident coupled with the injury from work forced her to apply for disability. She did so through her employer and from the social security administration.

Now I could write a book on the crookedness of that agency but I will save that for another time. Lets just say that the post office realized she would never be able to work again and thankfully they gave her the disability income she earned however the SSA fought her tooth and nail and NEVER did right by her; here we are 20+ years later and they still have yet to settle with her. How that is even legal is beyond me but hey this is America we are referring to; slavery was "legal" at one point. So basically moms has been severely injured for several decades yet she continued to push through her pain. She has had dozens of doctors, tried every medicine on the market and the only one strong enough to help with her pain was methadone. Imagine having so much pain that you have to resort to taking such a powerful drug. Due to her injuries and their locations she has always been told that she was not a candidate for surgery and that doing so would more than likely leave her paralyzed so I have watched this Amazing woman fight through the pain and never give up.

Most people would have chosen to end it all years ago but not this beauty; she's the truest definition of strength. Last year she obtained her degree in early childhood development and is now enrolled again to receive her second degree. She helped my sister and I raise our children to be the amazing people that they are and I could NOT have done it without her. Trust me this is the extremely condensed story of a 57 year old powerhouse who is stronger than 10 men combined. Winning a prize for this is not what I seek; I just HAD to share with the world how Amazing my Ummi is and let her know; you ARE APPRECIATED......

lelelapoetespeaks