"Daughter, never marry the poor": a letter from my mother exploded the circle of friends!

I saw a letter the other day.

The letter reads:

Daughter, your father and I were very happy when you said you were going to bring your boyfriend home.

I thought to myself, if it was appropriate, your dad and I would agree.

But after contacting him last week, we firmly disagree with you.

You are sad and angry, crying that we are all about money.

But compared to the happiness of your life, my mother still wants you to think clearly.

That boy is not a good man because he is too "poor".

His poverty is not just money, but spiritual deprivation.

Love is very happy, but in the firewood, rice, oil and salt of life, you will definitely suffer because of his "poor".

Mom doesn't want to see you unhappy, your dad and I just want to make you happy...

Seeing this, many people say that they can understand what their mother thinks.

After all, if you are not materially rich, you can start from scratch, but if you are poor in the following three ways, it will be difficult for you to turn around in your life.

Poor "ability"

A few days ago, I saw the story of the netizen @miaomiao.

When Miaomiao and her husband Chen Xiang first got married, they were so loving and envious of others.

Love can be only romantic, but marriage is life most of the time.

After less than two years of marriage, the marriage broke down completely because of the sudden epidemic.

Chen Xiang's performance has not reached the standard for half a year. Although he has been reminded many times by his superiors, he still does not take it to heart.

Later, due to the epidemic, the company continued to lose money and decided to lay off employees. The first thing to eliminate is the lack of outstanding work ability.

Obviously, Chen Xiang is one of them.

For two whole months, no company asked him for an interview, and no acquaintance introduced him.

He finally found a job, but he thought the salary was low, he had too many things to do, and he was far from home. He was dismissed after a few months of work.

The family's expenses and life are all supported by Miaomiao alone. The original plan to move to the urban area by the end of the year was unsuccessful.

When Miaomiao saw that her husband was either playing games or going out to drink and chat with friends, she asked her:

"Do you have any plans for work recently? We can't always share a lease with others, can we?"

The husband said, "If you don't want to live, you move out by yourself. I'll find a job slowly, and I think it's pretty good now. You don't have to worry about food or clothing."

But what he didn't know was that his so-called not worrying about food and clothing was earned by Miaomiao's frugality.

Gradually, the two quarreled more and more frequently. Once, Miaomiao said:

"You are just a dude who can't be helped. With you, I can't see any hope!"

Perhaps it was the accumulated resentment, or it was an impulse, Chen Xiang kicked Miaomiao's stomach:

"What do you hope or not, I think you are capable, there are people outside, so you don't look down on me, right?"

Only then did Miaomiao realize that she had been wrong from the beginning.

Reminds me of a quote written by a writer:

When two people are together, the fear is not that his family is not rich or that he has no savings, but that others are poor and short-sighted and do not want to make progress.

It does.

A woman can not care that the other's family is not rich, because an ambitious man will not think about relying on his parents; a woman can also not care that a man has no money at the moment, it doesn't matter, because it takes time for anyone to succeed.

However, women should care about whether the other party has a positive heart.

If you have no money, you will only suffer for a while, but if you have no ability, no ambition, you will suffer for a lifetime.

People like to say, thirty years Hedong, thirty years Hexi.

It relies on ability.

A man can only be worthy of marriage and have a future only if he constantly improves his abilities and makes plans for his life.

"Heart" poor

The ancients said: "There is no sorrow greater than the death of the heart, and nothing greater than the poverty of the heart."

I saw a news a few days ago.

A wife wanted to be an intermediate accountant, but was depressed by her husband.

If a woman wants to take a certificate while she still has energy, it will be good for the future.

So I discussed with my husband about investment research.

In the end, the husband said, "Just you? You haven't studied for many years, and your intelligence can still keep up? Besides, it's at least 20,000 to 30,000 yuan per class, and you may not be able to pass the test."

The husband's firm opposition and ridicule made the wife sleepless at night for a long time, even to the point of taking sleeping pills to fall asleep every night.

Her husband's short-sightedness hindered her advancement.

On the other hand, my neighbor Xiaoyan, although her husband started out with only 4,000 yuan, still has to send 1,000 yuan to her parents every month.

But no matter how difficult the day was, her husband did not give up his efforts.

Running business during the day and learning project management knowledge at night, he said to Xiaoyan the most:

"We are only temporarily poor. While we are still young, we must spend time and money to improve ourselves."

It didn't take long for her husband to become a project manager, and Xiaoyan was also admitted to a graduate degree in psychology under her husband's influence.

Although the two are often stretched thin, their inner wealth has kept this marriage sweet.

Being poor is not scary, being poor is the source of nothing.

When you are with people who are poor at heart, you will feel that nothing will succeed; when you are with people who are rich at heart, you will have new expectations every day.

As the saying goes: "No matter how poor you are, you can't be poor."

Because people who are poor at heart are timid in doing things, and what they see in their eyes is always only the current interests.

Life is precious, stay away from those who are poor at heart, let alone become one of them.

Only when you are rich in your heart and send opportunities to you can you be able to seize and own them.

"Three views" poor

In life, we often hear such words:

He is very kind to me and always focuses on me; he has a good temper, and he always coaxes me first when he is angry; he is gentle and considerate, and has surprises on birthdays and anniversaries...

A woman who has fallen into love seems to be a lifelong partner worthy of entrustment as long as the other party is good enough to her.

But aren't these the most basic attitudes toward each other?

When a woman chooses a mate, don't just try to talk sweetly and pour tea and water. More important than these are the three views.

Friends Xie Li and her ex-husband are a typical case.

She married the person introduced to her by her parents, and within half a year of knowing each other, her family urged them to get married.

But after marriage, she discovered that the other party was very different from her in terms of three views, lifestyle, and life.

Like her husband, she is from a small village.

But she loves to write, and she makes some money by writing.

But whenever she said that she wanted to go to Japan to see the cherry blossoms, to Hokkaido to see the snow, and to go to Bali to see the sea, her husband was always not interested, and instead said:

"We don't have that condition. Women still have to put their family first and go out less to fix some."

She likes makeup, flowers, and buying different styles of costume jewelry. Her mother-in-law would always say behind her back that she wasted money. With these thoughts, it would be better to have a grandson earlier.

It's not scary to be born poor, what's scary is that it's easy to be poor.

Xie Li said something that impressed me deeply:

"People with three views are poor, no matter how hard you try, you can't change the other party. I don't want to spend my own money, and I have to act according to the other party's three views. "

Xie Li's family of origin is indeed not high-quality, but she did not stagnate in the status quo, while her partner was content with the present, and the outcome was naturally parting ways.

There is a saying that says it well:

"Love is not looking for a lost rib, but a resonance without a sense of disobedience. Only on the same frequency can love communicate and grow."

A really good marriage is the resonance of the soul and the fit of the three views.

And the poor person, you tell him that the sea is beautiful, but he will only say that people have drowned in the sea.

Writer Lu Xun wrote:

"The most torment of marriage is not conflict, but boredom."

And the only thing that can avoid getting bored with each other is:

Being with capable people will make your life full of expectations; with people who are rich in heart, even if it is difficult, there will always be light in your heart; with people who are rich in three views, ordinary life can be danced gracefully .

No matter what age, no matter who you marry, you must learn to keep accumulating your own capital. Only in this way can you have the confidence to be loved and abandoned.