6 questions to ask each other before getting married
"Happy and happy marriage is not to be given up, but to be accepted from the heart. Before marriage, you must think clearly about what your life will be like after marriage."
There are too many uncertain factors in marriage. It cannot escape the trivialities of daily life, nor can it escape the troubles of the world.
Under these trivialities and disturbances, both sides will slowly take off their masks, let go of their defenses, and reveal their truest side.
So, no matter who we marry, we feel more or less that the other person has changed.
Before marriage, put aside the love brain and face these 6 problems rationally, which can reduce many conflicts and losses after marriage.
Want to live with one parent?
Falling in love is a matter of two people, but marriage is a matter of two families.
After marriage, whether to live with one of the parents is a headache for many couples
There are often irreconcilable differences in the living habits and concepts of the two generations.
Living together, the daily necessities of life will affect each other, which can easily lead to conflicts.
Some people think that living with their parents, as long as they can respect each other's differences and tolerate each other, can get along well, and life will be a lot easier because of their parents' care.
Some people also worry that once the relationship crosses the line, it will easily lead to conflicts, the rhythm of each other's life will be disrupted, the good life will become a torture, and it will also consume each other's enthusiasm for marriage.
In fact, whether or not to live with parents after marriage depends on whether the two of them have the same choice of future life.
Do you like to live a lively life, or do you yearn for the unfettered world of two people.
Negotiating this issue well before marriage can reduce many unnecessary disputes after marriage.
Can the consumption concept of each other be compatible?
Writer Liang Zhixia Jun said:
"After marriage, 80% of quarrels are caused by money, and the remaining 20% have to invest more money."
Marriage is more realistic than love. Before marriage, you can be full of love by attracting each other. After marriage, every little thing is inseparable from spending money.
If a person's attitude towards spending money for you can reflect how much the other party loves you, then whether you can spend the money in one piece, it hides the happiness of a marriage.
If the difference in consumption concept between husband and wife is too large, the estrangement will also arise unconsciously.
Today the other party will feel pressured because you bought a few more things; tomorrow you will be unhappy because the other party has ordered one less dish.
No matter how ardent the love is and the three views are consistent, it cannot resist the divergences in consumption views.
After many years of marriage, I discovered that couples with similar consumption concepts can not only spend every penny in a tacit understanding, but also support each other in life.
To find out each other's consumption concept, and then enter the marriage hall, is responsible for oneself, but also cautious about marriage.
When do you want to have kids? Who will bring it?
Children are the crystallization of married life and the fuse for many couples' emotional changes.
In particular, how long do you have children after marriage, and who will bring the children.
You must know that raising a child is not an easy task, and the time, energy and financial resources spent can be said to be incalculable.
When is the right time to have a baby? Who will take care of the baby after giving birth? Does one parent take the child at home, or does the parent take turns taking it? Or ask a babysitter to help?
These problems may seem boring, but they are very real. Every couple will face them. If they are not handled properly, the birth of a child will bring huge hidden dangers to a family.
There are a thousand ways of living for a thousand people. Everyone has different life plans and different expectations for life.
Some people want to devote themselves to developing their careers and enjoy the two-person world for a few more years, while others want to complete the life task of getting married and having children as soon as possible, and enter the next stage early.
Therefore, before entering the siege of marriage, you must first see if the other party can reach an agreement with yourself on the issue of children.
Otherwise, after marriage, the two cannot avoid entering a tug of war.
If there is a conflict, can we communicate in time?
There are no two identical snowflakes in the world, nor do people with the same personalities and preferences.
Therefore, in the process of getting along with husband and wife, bumps and bumps are inevitable.
But the way you deal with friction determines the temperature of your marriage.
If you deal with the conflict in a cold war manner, or keep it in your heart and let the other party guess, it will intensify the conflict, make the problem more serious, and make the relationship more and more cold.
On the contrary, if both parties can jump out of the emotional whirlpool in time, sit down and communicate calmly, and resolve conflicts with understanding and love, they will be able to withstand the test of marriage and the relationship will become more and more intimate.
Timely communication can not only eliminate each other's negative emotions, but also resolve misunderstandings and grievances in marriage.
Before getting married, you must look at the attitude of the other party when there is a conflict between the two.
The long-term flow of marriage depends not only on mutual affection, but also on the way of resolving conflicts.
Encountering conflicts, facing them positively, and actively resolving them are the keys to a happy marriage.
Are you really ready to start a family?
Marriage is when two people who like each other join hands to build a family and spend the rest of their lives together in this family.
Starting a family means more responsibility and determination.
Marriage is not love. It may be easy to fall in love with someone, it only takes a few moments, but it takes a lifetime of practice to stay with someone until old age.
In a long life full of various uncertainties, no matter who you marry, it is impossible to only spend a few days in the future.
When the passion fades, the other party may keep correcting you because you didn't fold the quilt after you got up;
You may also keep blaming him for not flipping the toilet seat when he goes to the bathroom.
All the trivial things in life may become the reason for your quarrel.
Therefore, you must think clearly before getting married, whether you are ready to form a family, ready to take on half of the family's affairs and responsibilities, and whether you can firmly join hands with the other party to protect the family.
Are you sure that the other person is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with?
Someone asked on the Internet: "When did you feel that the other party was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?"
There is a high praise below and replied: "It's not boring to talk for a long time."
Falling in love only depends on whether you like the other person or not, and marriage depends on whether you can chat together.
People who can talk to each other always have endless topics, one is willing to share, and the other is enthusiastic to discuss.
And with people you can't talk to, you will find that your conversation is like playing the piano to a cow.
No matter how much you talk, he won't understand or be interested, and he won't resonate with you. The longer you stay with him, the more awkward you will be.
In this life, it is rare to meet someone who understands you, but it is even more rare to meet someone who can talk to you.
As Nietzsche said:
"Marriage is like a long-term conversation. When you choose to take this step, you must first ask yourself: Can you still talk and laugh when you are getting old?"
If you don't even talk speculatively, the long journey of life will be so boring.
Writer Lu Suwei once said:
"The path of life is so simple, what you choose, what you give, you get what you get."
Everything in the world has cause and effect. If you don't pick on marriage, marriage will pick on you.
Sentient beings cannot drink enough water, and love alone cannot sustain a marriage.
Be sure to fully understand each other before entering the palace of marriage.
So, before getting married, be sure to think about these 6 questions.
Only if you pay more attention to marriage, will you have the chance to meet the person who can accompany you to enjoy the romance under the flowers and the moon, and to accompany you to live a dull life in the pots and pans.
The road of life is long, you and I are both on the way, I hope we can all meet our sweethearts, eat three meals and four seasons, watch flowers and admire the moon, and embrace each other until we grow old.