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Chrissy Teigen, John Legend Lose Son Jack

Why Teigen And Legend Should Be Commended For Their Bravery In Sharing Their Miscarriage

By Christina St-JeanPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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#ChrissyTeigen's latest tweet broke my heart.

Here is a woman who has openly expressed her challenges in conceiving a child, who has spoken from the heart about IVF treatments while conceiving daughter Luna and son Miles, and who was both surprised and seemingly elated - I could only assume so, at any rate, given I do not know her or her husband - at the news that she'd conceived her third child naturally.

In a tweet that featured a heartbroken Teigen in what was clearly a hospital, she penned a lengthy note expressing the tragic news that the third child - a boy she and husband #JohnLegend named Jack - they'd so excitedly and lovingly anticipated had encountered complications and had died. In it, she thanked everyone for their love and support and said goodbye to the son they would never bring home.

There are too many women who have known how Teigen feels. According to March of Dimes, as many as one to five percent of known pregnancies in the United States end in miscarriage in the second trimester, while as many as 10 to 15 percent of known pregnancies will end in miscarriage in the first trimester. It goes without saying that the emotional recovery from a miscarriage will take far longer than the physical recovery.

While I was in the very early stages of pregnancy in two of my four pregnancies, I miscarried. One was an ectopic pregnancy - a pregnancy that for whatever reason occurs outside the uterus - and the other was a natural miscarriage. Both occurred at around the 11-week mark. Both were very emotionally difficult to recover from. I could not imagine how I would manage if either pregnancy was lost during the second trimester, though I know women who have had to deal with that exact issue. Things become far more tangible during that second trimester, as the bump develops into something that has a detectable heartbeat and feels more real. Dreams of the child start forming as you start looking at sonograms, feeling kicks, and so on.

Teigen has already been denigrated by some for posting about her miscarriage, but I get why she did it. She's making it real for herself by talking about it. Everything in the aftermath of a miscarriage seems so surreal that you almost need to tell yourself that it did happen and that you aren't dreaming some sort of nightmare. She's also putting it out there because we need to talk about miscarriage and not make it something that we only whisper in darkness. We need to put a face to it and talk about the pain that is so very real and the emptiness that hurts so much.

To those who are attacking Teigen for tweeting about her tragedy, take a moment and think. She and #Legend are very public figures who are using their platform to discuss what has been for years a taboo topic. Yes, they are raw and unfiltered as they come, but that's what discussions about this painful topic should be. She and Legend are doing what they need to do to shine a light on this topic and maybe that will, in turn, start the discussion and the healing process for them and for so many others.

I don't pretend to be an expert when it comes to how people feel or how they should respond when dealing with incredible grief. However, I do know something about how Teigen and Legend might be feeling right now, and there is no right way or wrong way to grieve and express pain. They are doing what they need to minute by minute to survive the loss of their boy that they'd so looked forward to meeting, and they need support from those they choose to express that grief to, not judgment.

grief
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About the Creator

Christina St-Jean

I'm a high school English and French teacher who trains in the martial arts and works towards continuous self-improvement.

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