Can you see it? It's my bittersweet dream

I've never appreciated tranquility and peace. I’ve always liked crowded places with loud music, lots of friends, and drinking cocktails in the city centre. What I know considers my home town, is the opposite.

It is calm, the town centre is often empty and the silence gets louder every time I step out of my doorstep.

I slowly started to merge with the rhythm and pace of the town and without even realizing I became a part of it and I felt welcomed. Initially, when I first moved here, I couldn’t notice anything remarkable, in this isolated borough, it took me time to notice the hidden and veiled beauties of this area.

A VIVID AND ANIMATED SUNSET

I adore observing the sunset from my window. As I live in one of my town’s tallest buildings, I have created the habit to admire the horizon, day after day. I have noticed that the sky has a different colour every evening, sometimes the sky gets orange, purple, pink or yellow. The shade changes everyday and the pleasure is infinite.

BIRDS FLYING ABOVE MY TOWN

The best thing about observing the sunset from my window is admiring the birds flying above the roofs, they stop on top of the chimneys for no more than 5 seconds and then they immediately fly away, maybe they feel observed by my big dark brown eyes and the lens of my camera.

I feel like I'm watching a film, right outside of my window, every day, a new story is being told; people walking with their heavy shopping bags, others walking their dogs to the park, lovers kissing and sometimes buildings on fire, far away from my house.

Before I started noticing the enchanting sunsets, I could only see grey and brownish boring brick walls, they were everywhere and I was constantly saddened by the sight.

I couldn’t imagine what was happening behind those brick walls, except for people sitting in front of the television eating their snacks. This is the sensation the architectural structure of the town and the dull colours were giving me.

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER PARTY?

However, behind these brick walls, amazing and unexpected things were happening. As soon as I made some friends, I had access to people’s lifestyles and I could finally see how much colours were hidden behind these walls.

Here in my hometown, we have the most entertaining conversations, we laugh, we cry, we conversate about death, pregnancies, racism, the future of veganism and the corrupt educational system.

The house parties are unique. The only requirement is to buy some food and drinks, get dressed and then walk or drive to your friend’s house, that is usually 5 or 10 minutes away.

Quick, fast and easy.

The sources of entertainment for young people are limited in this town, there are no big cinemas, roller coasters, ice skating rinks or bungee jumping, you either entertain yourself or drive one hour and a half out of town to find fun activities to do.

There’s no need though, it’s fun to be here.

There are different types of house parties. The ones with your friends and the ones with your mum’s friends.

When I first moved here, with my family, my mum definitely had more friends than me. Once, she invited me to her friend’s house.

I could have never imagined to actually have fun at a party full of adults, old people and cats. We were drinking tea, eating homemade biscuits and cakes, cuddling the cats and talking about life.

We spoke at length about my discomfort in living in this town as I could never find the things I needed and always had to buy bus tickets to go out of town. Once the conversation was over she directed me to multiple supermarkets around here that I never even noticed. She drove me there and my eyes were opened. What other things were hidden in between these streets, that I didn't notice?

THE DAILY TREASURE HUNTS

When the treasure hunt starts it cannot be stopped, there’s a new discovery every day. In this town I discovered three hidden gardens, two skate parks, an independent film company, a museum and a fire fighting station. Always been here since I moved but took me a while to notice.

I wish I could say I know my hometown as the back of my hand, however, that would be the biggest lie coming out of my mouth.

Once I discovered the supermarket there was no longer a necessity to take a bus and leave the town, everything I needed was there, 5 minutes away from my house.

A supermarket full of everything I required, food, bakery, candies, pieces of furniture, kitchen plates, books and soft pillows. When I realised that, the treasure hunt started.

CORNISH ICE CREAM, UNAVAILABLE

The best thing about my supermarket is the Cornish ice cream sold in the frozen food aisle. It comes from the far away land of Cornwall and I can guarantee you that you cannot find this ice cream anywhere else.

I’ve been to New York, Paris, Nigeria, Rome and I was born and raised in a northern italian city before moving here; I’ve never tasted such a delicious and addictive ice cream.

Whenever I go to the supermarket I make sure I buy a bowl, as I’m aware that the market won’t sell that product forever. I want to enjoy it, at every opportunity available, before it will eventually disappear from the ever changing market.

THE BALANCE BETWEEN THE UNEXPECTED AND THE EXPECTED

The town is isolated and the daily routine barely changes for every citizen here. However, at times I notice big changes.

My favourite second hand vintage charity shop was replaced with a small yarn store that offered the availability to learn the art of knitting, a new primary school was built and they opened a new turkish restaurant. Despite this, most days, the town is calm, peaceful and quiet.

The calm nature of the town cleans my cluttered mind. This is what I love about being here, the same daily routine that makes me feel safe and gives me a sense of stability.

Every morning around eight and a half, I hear the kids chatting and walking to the local school, by nine the morning silence comes back. Around three in the afternoon, I hear kids laughing, shouting and running around the town. Once everyone’s back home, the silence dominates again. Over the summer the routine is broken and you hear children and teenagers at different hours of the day.

MY HEART AND MY MIND

A piece of my heart sits here in this town, while my mind rejects the notion that something different from my native city also became part of me.

I’m happy to say this is my hometown now but I keep telling myself that one day I’ll leave. I promise myself I will not feel nostalgic, because leaving symbolises a sense of freedom, I’ve created in mind, that is in contrast with the powerless sensation I felt when I had no choice but to move in here.

I was stuck here and I was forced to learn about this town, gradually, when all I wanted was to know everything about it, immediately.

I wanted to know if there were places that could replace my native city. I needed a sports centre, friends with the same characteristics, the same architectural structure and the same meteorological conditions.

It was naive for me to keep searching for my past in this new town, despite the clear differences.

I appreciate the little things that belong to this town and this town only. The sunsets, people's faces, the ice cream and the routine.

Someone might say boring, I say homely.

Alessia, here in Chatteris