Buggie-Boo's Greatest Hits

They say kids say the darndest things and I'm sure that's true. Children, especially young ones, lack the filter that comes from an understanding of social grace. The concepts of hurt feelings and impoliteness are lost on them. As a result, what sometimes springs from their tiny mouths can be horrifyingly embarrasing to the adults around them, and absolutely hilarious. Then, there were the things my oldest son used to say.

Justin came into this world right on time, at the very last minute of his predicted due date, May 31, 1990 at 11:59 pm, much to the delight of my doctor. He was one of those babies that you just knew was special. I still remember the moment the nurse placed his 8 pound, 6 1/2 ounce body on my chest for the first time. He lifted his head, looked around, screwed his face up in displeasure, and wailed. He's been putting the world to rights ever since.

The nickname Buggie-Boo came from a silly song I made up to soothe him in the middle of the night. It seemed to work and went like this:

Little Buggie Wuggie,

Little Buggie Wuggie,

Little Buggie Wuggie, Buggie-Boo.

Much to his current dismay, the nickname stuck, although the song is a thing of the distant past.

Little "Buggie - Boo" proved to be a percocious child. He picked everything up quickly and spoke early. His grandmother used to say he was "born with a briefcase," to describe both his advanced abilities and his attitude. Justin, much like his mother, didn't suffer fools gladly. The result were some hilarious quips that I still laugh at to this day.

1. "If you just pay attention, you'll see what I'm actually doing:" Justin loved puzzles when he was small. He'd spend hours on the floor putting them together, ripping them apart and putting them together again. When he was about 18 months old, his great grandfather, Alec, approached him in our living room, and said, "putting a puzzle together are you?" Not one to restate the obvious, Justin replied as described.

2. "I don't like playing with cars, I do this to amuse Grampy Rudy:" My father, Justin's Grampy Rudy adored his first grandson more than life itself. Each time we visited, he'd eagerly whip out all the toys he bought for his pride and joy and lower himself onto the floor to play despite being terminally ill at the time with both heart and kidney disease. More often than not, there were several toy cars involved. I'll never know if the child somehow understood how important these moments were to his grandfather, but for some reason, he would always agree to play with the cars, something he'd never ordinarily do. One day, just before his second birthday, he blurted out his rationale on the drive home. Either way, he made his grandfather happy and continued to do so for the final 2 years of his life.

3. "I'm just going to put this in the fridge until your smell gets off it:" Okay, maybe I should have chastized him for this one, but honestly, I was too busy hiding in the bathroom laughing my butt off. A little context might be necessary here. Justin was about 2 and at the time, I was very committed to making sure my children ate a healthy diet. Treats were limited. They were allowed, but they were limited. Pop, or what Americans would call soda, was a rare treat. One day, during the summer, Justin's great uncle popped in. He was an affable sort, but, ummm, well, to say it in as delicate a way as possible, he was lacking, severely, in the personal hygiene department, and it was painfully obvious. Of course no one ever talked about it, or said anything, that would be rude, right? Enter Buggie - Boo. When "Jim" arrived, he came bearing a treat for the toddler, a cold can of his favourite treat, cream soda. Justin accepted the treat, wrinkled his tiny nose, walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, placing the can inside and announcing his reasoning. Like I said, I probably should have corrected him, I didn't, I couldn't stop laughing, and hid.

And finally, the one thing he said that I repeat almost every day, even now:

4. "Everybody's stupid but me!" Poor kid, he had the world figured out before he was even 2. Seriously, how often are we out and about and we see something and we think, "has the world lost every bit of sense it ever had?" We roll our eyes, exasperated at the sight of yet another person doing something so utterly rediculous, we wonder if we're the last piece of intelligent life on this planet. More often than we may want to admit, I bet. When that happens, I still hear Buggie-Boo's little voice announcing this observation. He was about 2, sitting quietly playing with his puzzles and out of the blue, completely unprovoked, announced his thoughts and continued on with his puzzles. It might not have been nice, but I kind of get the kid's point, and you do too.

Maybe I'm sentimental because he turned 31 last month and I turn 50 next month, but these little gems still provide me a wealth of joy and chuckles. They remind me that if you want to know the unvarnished truth, just ask a toddler, they'll tell you.