British Racing Green

Liam often day dreamed about the car.... ‘I know it will cost a lot of money, certainly more than I have in my post office savings account’. Mr Wilkinson the postmaster had said

‘Don’t panic Liam, you will soon have enough to buy a house’!

I didn’t know you could buy a house with $28 - but it must be true!

My dad has had the old car since “the dawn of time”, at least that’s what he said.

‘It has four wheels and an engine Liam, what more do we need’?

I had seen my dad in the Jaguar car show room. Smiling at the bright polished cars

‘ British Racing Green Liam it’s got to be BRG to be a proper Jaguar’. And with a sigh he would run his hand over the bonnet and doors. I had been lucky to smell the new leather seats when dad had opened the car for a better look inside. The salesman had walked over to dad at that point and he had quickly closed the door before the salesman –

‘got his claws into him’ . I’d asked dad what he meant as I had not seen any talons or claws for that matter. Dad said I’d understand when I got older.

I love jaguars they make my dad very happy. I’d asked mum if I could draw my savings from the post office and buy a Jaguar for dad.

‘Maybe another day, for now you have to save for the holiday’.

I made sure I asked dad a lot of questions about Jaguars,

‘How are they built dad’? ‘What size engines do they have’?

I’d heard Uncle Jimmy asking dad about the size of his engine. He had said ‘size was important’ and ‘you had to have a big one to impress the ladies’. They had laughed for ages, so I will make sure it has a big one to make dad happy – oh, and the ladies of course.

I asked dad why it had to be British Racing green. He said it was ‘the colour of grass across the empire when Victoria ruled the world’ and it was our duty to keep that memory alive.

I wasn’t quite sure what he meant, but it must be true.

One night dad told me of a time when he had been driven around the streets in a Jaguar by his Uncle Ron. Ron had a property business and had a bob or too. He had taken dad and his brothers for a ride in his new car.

Dad said, ‘The seats were so new; I’d had trouble sitting still when we turned a corner’. He kept slipping on the new leather.

‘The smell of the new leather Liam, it was great’

I knew what he meant; I’d smelt that leather. I was absolutely determined that one day I’d buy my own.

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Liam had seen the skinny kid on the park bench a few times. He watched as Liam played his round of mini golf at the cove. He didn’t say anything. He just watched. Other than that Liam wouldn’t have noticed he existed. He had no doubt that the girls would have noticed him though. Platinum blond hair parted casually to one side. He flicked his head occasionally to get the hair out of his eyes. Trendy t-shirt and board shorts you’d have to pay a lot for – even in the outlet shop! White skin though, Liam guessed he wasn’t a local kid and had probably only arrived in New Zealand recently. A bit like himself, ‘a walking milk bottle’.

After the game and another unsuccessful attempt at Skull rock the 9th hole, Liam had walked across the park and towards the new kid. To his surprise the kid called over to him

‘Hiya Liam, do you think I could talk to you for a minute’

Liam was a little rocked to hear the kid call him by name, he was also a little shocked at how polite he was. Normally it would have gone a little like this :

‘hey bro, come here or we’ll beat your head in’ and Liam would have turned and ran in the opposite direction. But something about this kid said it was alright to go over.

Liam reached the bench and took a seat next to the new kid, leaving just enough room between them. Dad had said ‘We don’t sit squashed together – that’s what girls do’. So Liam carefully made sure there was at least a bottom’s width between them.

‘How do you know my name” said Liam.

‘ I know a lot of things’

Oh yea funny guy thought Liam. Before he could come out with something really smart like ‘I bet you didn’t know I was going to kick your arse’ the kid continued.

‘ Liam, we have been watching you for a long time, we’ve been watching everything for a long time’

Liam looked closer at this boy, or was it a girl? It was the eyes that stood out, they were so blue. Liam could not see any pupils; his first thought was that the Kid was wearing some very cool contact lenses.

‘Liam. I’m not from around here

Again this kid is stating the obvious – maybe he’s had a blow to the head.

‘I’m from a planet far from here but close enough to be your neighbour’

‘Yeah right said Liam, “Are you taking drugs pal’?

The Kid turned to face Liam, it was then he noticed he didn’t have any ears. The long blonde hair covered a couple of slits on either side of the head in line with those blue eyes. ‘Cool’ said Liam suddenly happy to believe anything this kid said. ‘What’s your name’? ‘Alas you would not be able to pronounce my real name Liam, but you can call me Chuck’

Chuck gazed across at Liam, gauging his expression. ‘Liam, I represent a race of people whose role in this Universe and the next, is to establish life on the planets and then watch, nurture and ensure they survive. We have already decided that your caretaker role on this planet is to be terminated’

‘What does that mean” asked Liam frowning and raising an eyebrow, he did this because he wanted Chuck to know he was thinking’.

‘Your people have abused and destroyed this Planet, the resources and minor life forms for centuries. There is little hope that this behaviour will change. Your time is up’.

‘Just what does that mean, you’re time is up?’

‘Just that” said Chuck pursing his lips and chewing over the words. “You are to be terminated!’

‘There must be something we can do?’

‘Something you can do?’ – Chuck smiled, ‘How about this Liam, I will play you one game of Mini Golf. If you win, we will withdraw and give you another 50 or so years to get things right, to sort out the planet, respect life and all it represents?’

Liam sat open mouthed ‘One round of Mini Golf? - sure, challenge accepted!”

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Liam had worked through the numbers; He’d crunched the figures and determined he’d have enough money in 25 years to buy a Jaguar. If he washed three cars a week, delivered newspapers each day after school and cleaned Mrs Morrison’s windows each week – the money would just roll in.

Liam grabbed the sponge from the warm soapy water and blasted the dirt on the front bumper and number plate.

‘Hiya’ It was Chuck. The big competition was now set for Saturday afternoon at 2.30pm. Liam couldn’t really play for the fate of the planet on a school day and he’d have to help his mum with the shopping on Saturday morning. So, 2:30 pm Saturday it was, “Bring it on space boy!”

‘Watcha Doin’, enquired Chuck.

‘Saving up for a Jaguar, British racing green, big engine to please the ladies’ said Liam matter of factually.

“Really, I sort of thought you were systematically covering this vehicle with water and detergent, I suspect to remove the road residue and fall out?

‘Sorry’

‘You look like you’re washing a car’

‘Aaahh to the untrained eye that’s true, but sometimes you have to see the end game, the big picture” said Liam sounding very much like his dad explaining to his mum the merits and necessity of a new fishing rod.

‘Obviously ‘.

Liam thrust his arm back and forth into the bucket of water and whizzed across the old paintwork of the battered old VW beetle.

‘AHhh big picture eh, Do you need a hand/’?

“Not really, I need the money and if you helped, I’d have to share’

“No, you wouldn’t” said Chuck quickly trying to re-assure his new friend that he wouldn’t dream of taking his hard-earned money.

“But I would” said Liam stopping and looking at Chuck and making sure he made good eye contact. His dad had said “Good eye contact was important when talking to another man. Good eye contact and a firm hand shake.

Liam walked over to Chuck, took him by the hand and vigorously pumped his arm up and down. A little dazed Chuck asked him “What are you doing?”

‘Just checking’ said Liam, ‘Just checking’.

Saturday morning came and both combatants stood at the first tee. Liam had decided to wear his good “T”-Shirt, he thought the fate of the planet deserved a good “T”-shirt. He placed the ball carefully on the grass square and took the first stroke around The Captain’s Cabin, hole number one. Game on.

Half way around the course they were all square. Liam had to admit that Chuck could play. He had matched him stroke for stroke, even around “The Cathedral” - his best hole. Chuck had managed to match him despite some exquisite putter work by Liam. It was on the seventh hole that the mood changed. Liam had taken two shots to sink his ball at “The Volcano” and Chuck was lined up to make a quite difficult angle shot. The ball sped off, striking the boundary wall at 45 degrees and easily rolling into the hole/

‘Wait a minute’ said Liam, ‘You’re cheating!. I don’t believe it! You didn’t even hit the ball, you just nodded and the ball moved’

‘I use my mind, It’s the same thing’

‘No it’s blooming well not’ shouted Liam trying hard not to swear and now visibly quite angry.

‘These are my rules’ said Chuck quite flustered

‘I don’t think so’ said Liam red faced. ‘The rules are quite well defined and displayed around the course’, pointing to the Perspex covered posters attached to the posts at each hole. Black Bart stared down at them Play Fair, Follow the rules, Enjoy the game arrr.

Chuck looked at Liam, then at the poster and back to Liam.

‘Very well, I will follow your rules, you still cannot win. There is a price to pay’

‘No mind play’ said Liam, just the stick.

Things didn’t change a lot after that. Chuck could still match him stroke for stroke. Finally, they walked together to the final hole. Chuck turned and bowed to Liam.

‘I wish you well my friend, you have shown me there is still hope for your kind’

Liam turned to face the skull. His palms were sweating and he found his grip slipping as he tightened his hold on the club. He held his breath, slowly back and follow through. The ball ran up the slope, chipped the front obstacle to the left and ran to the tip of the hole. The planet held its breath. There was a metallic plop and a blinding flash of light spread across the course.

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On Sunday Morning Liam’s dad made his way downstairs to collect the morning paper. Front page headlines told of a mysterious light observed across the planet, speculation was that some meteorite or space junk had been involved. He tucked the paper under his arm and wandered through to the kitchen. He put the coffee pot on and sat at the table. It was then he noticed the neat little package in front of him –

To Dad, I hope you have loads of fun with this, Love Liam.

He shook the box and began to remove the wrapping and neatly tied bow. He gasped aloud and the tears streamed down his face as in his hand he held the immaculate model of a 1963 MkII Jaguar 3.8, in British Racing Green.