Born 2 Centuries Ago

Grandma Belle, These words I failed to tell you, when last we spoke, tell you just how much of a strong woman you inspired me to become.

1894: Grandmother, you were born the year the first patent for a motion picture was granted, the first horseless carriage competition was held, and Norman Rockwell was born. You worked a farm all but the last 4 years of your life until you fell and broke your hip at age 92! That didn't stop you though and you continued to be my inspiration until you passed just a bit after your 97th birthday.

Grandma Belle I was amazed that you married 7 times and only one divorce! You outlived all of them too. The last husband was 14 years younger and he died almost 10 years before you! At a diminutive 4' 11" in stature and a robust woman, I was and still am in awe of all you accomplished in your life. Heck, I'm 5' 11" and lots of things are much easier for me. Especially the hard working tasks required to run a farm. To me, you were the strongest woman in the world because you worked a farm.

My God Grandma, you saw some of the first cars ever on the road. You were alive when Teddy Roosevelt was President. You were born before Louis Armstrong and Walt Disney, the first Rose Parade, the first World Series, and you were alive when the Wright Brother's made their first powered flight! Albert Einstein published his Theory of Relativity when you were a young child and you would have heard about the great San Francisco earthquake. You lived through 18 different Presidents, 2 World wars, the Korean Conflict, Vietnam, and the start of the Gulf Wars.

You raised 9 children, many of whom grew up on a farm in Arkansas including my father in his later teens. You birthed my father in Long Beach, California and moved back to Arkansas when he was older. I remember seeing a picture of him on one of your mules. They had just finished plowing for the day and my dad had hopped on to ride home from the fields.

I got to see you a few months before you passed away. It was a 3 hour drive to the nursing home from an Army school I traveled to from Texas Arkansas for. I had a free evening and drove to see you. By the time I was able to get there, it was just an hour until the end of visiting time but I was shown to your room where I found found in you bed, a shadow of the woman I remembered.

"Hello grandma?" I called out and you responded. We talked for a few minutes. I explained coming and how I came to be there. A few minutes into the conversation you said, "Your David's little girl, aren't you!" It wasn't a question, you finally placed me in your mind. The last time I had seen you I was 13 years old and visited you on the farm with my parents. I didn't look the same as I was over 30 years old at the time of my visit. We talked and talked until the nurse came in and said I had to go. They had not bothered us and it was over an hour past visiting hours.

You see grandma, when I left, I got into my car and could barely see on the drive home. I was crying, bawling. As a woman I could see all the time I had wasted on the few visits I had with you. I thought of all the things I should have done, said, listened to, the questions I could have asked. My thoughts ran along these lines...

What was it like in the roaring 20's? Did you have a flapper dress? I remember you telling me about the switchboard operator who would listen in on the phone calls and sometimes the party lines got all mixed up and several folks were trying to talk all at once. I remember talking to you about the depression that started in 1929. You said that it didn't make much difference to you in Arkansas as life was hard anyway. The rationing that went on for the world wars didn't affect you because you grew all the items you needed including the meat and wheat. In fact, I distinctly remember you saying that your farm had a bumper crop during one war year and you trucked the excess to a local depot where it was shipped to our armed services personnel. You said it was to help the war effort.

Helping out others and being selfless was one of the things that made me think you were strong. You worked so hard for all that food. You got up before the sun came up to milk the cows. That was a memory I still have. You teaching me how to milk a cow. I thought it was gross when you squirted fresh milk into my mouth straight from the cow! You had good aim as I was about 3 feet away!

Were you a Girl Scout? The USA branch was started in 1912 and you may have just made it in juniors. You would have had memories of 3 Presidents having been shot, one of which died. Were you a suffragette? What was prohibition like for you? I remember dad said you were a tee totaler and once he spiked your fruit punch. He said you had a really good time at that gathering!

We are currently going through a world wide pandemic called COVID 19. Were you terrified during the Spanish flu era? Did you have to wear a mask and keep your distance from other folks? We have a way of communicating now called the internet. Everyone in the world is connected through a screen and information is instantaneous. It has caused much harm and much good. I can read about anything in history, but it isn't as good as if I had spoken to you about your personal experiences.

Did you vote in 1920? I would have loved to be a part of that, the first women legally allowed to do so. I've seen some of the early motion pictures, but to me, they are surreal. what was it like seeing them for the first time? Did you hear about the St. Valentines Day Massacre? Did news like that get to you on the farm? I would have loved to hear what you thought of the "New Deal." There were many farm programs enacted during that era. Was it as history states or was your experience different?

Were you living where all the Union strikes made news? Coal miners demanding better health care and protection as black lung disease became known as a specific disease of miners. The factory workers striking for better pay and working hours and Upton Sinclair had published The Jungle when you were just 11 years old. What was it like, the recession and subsequent boom of the second World War era? I would have loved to see your ration cards. Even on the farm you would have had a gas ration card for the farm equipment!

I expect that you stayed on the farm to keep it going whilst the men were at war. I don't know if any of your children went and if they did, did they come back? Were you aware of the Japanese American internment camps? The racial issues surrounding Italians and Germans as well as folks of color? How did the Cold War effect your life? Were you anti communist and were you asked to turn in your neighbors if you suspected them to be "commies?"

My dad was your last child. He was born in 1935. He said he tried to join the draft for the Korean Conflict but because of the many surgeries he had to his left ear, he was deaf in it and was rejected. I bet you were relieved he wasn't going to war. I wish I could tell you that modern medicine was able to fix my dad's ear many decades later and he can hear out of that ear again! Social Security probably never was something you contributed to as the farm work didn't qualify. How did you plan for your "golden years?"

Did you hear of Rosa Parks and were you part of the American south that condoned segregation? Brown vs. Board of Education Topeka must have been a big deal in 1954. Did you see the National Guard troops mobilizing to protect the first black grade school students as they went to nonsegregated schools in Arkansas? Were you terrified when news got to you about the Cuban Missile crisis? What did you think of women's lib? I recall you were always prim and proper, dressing for dinner, never forgetting your place as a housewife, but you were also your own woman. You took charge and brooked no nonsense! When did you get your first washing machine? What did you think of Elvis Presley and the Beetles?

I was born in 1962 and have many memories of the late 1960's including the Watt's riots. What happened when you learned of the assasination of President Kennedy? Many farms were failing and folks were moving to the cities to earn a living. How did you keep the farm going all those years? Did Medicaid and Medicare give you any assistance?

By this time you may have had a television in your home or at least, at the local VFW hall. Would you have watched the antiwar demonstrations and the sit -ins of the 60's? I know you didn't burn your bra, but did the women's movement make life any easier? Did you think Richard Nixon was guilty? Did you see the Austin Texas University shooter live? Did you watch the first lift off and the first mission to the moon?

In the 70's we had an oil crisis and I remember you visited us in California. I remember giving you extra gas rations so you could get back home. How did you celebrate the Bicentennial Celebration? Did you vote for Jimmy Carter? I wish I could tell you that he is still alive and still building houses for Habitat for Humanity and that he has brought clean drinking water to many third world countries.

How did you feel when Ronald Reagan told the Soviet Union to "Tear down that wall?" Where were you when the Challenger blew up? Did you know that I served in the US Army? I served for 3 years on active duty and retired after 20 years total. I spent the rest of my time in the Army Reserves. I got to use some of that farm knowledge on some of my missions to Central America! You see grandma, I became a human medic first, but because of your life, I changed to the Veterinary Corps and worked with farm animals and food production! I was a strong woman by this time too, and I often think of what might have changed in my life had I spent more time with you on that farm.

Today I have an incredible life because I come from a strong woman stock! I left a long term and emotionally abusive relationship and moved from California to Scotland grandma. I couldn't have done that without the inspiration you were to me in my youth. They say as you age, it isn't the things you've done but the things you haven't that give y0u regrets. I truly regret not having spent time with you that one summer. If I could do it all over, I would pet the pony I rode all 3 days and then go back into the house and listen to your stories. I would ask you questions about your life and most of all, I would thank you for being a strong woman in my life.