Blood Relatives
-Under the same Roof-
Author © Jay Kantor
FAMILY
— Buried in the Backyard of our Memories —
Chosen paths may not be genetically influenced. Brother may be into money; he's in the money Biz. Other brother just feels that having money gives him one less thing to worry about. Professor, Sister, may be into 'Joan Didion' literature - Brother's into comic books. Other Sister is a spectacular Chef. Other siblings can't set microwave instructions. What influences the choices we make?
Sister, Betty Maureen, left home at 16 and never came back. She became an English Professor at Berkeley and a syndicated 'human interest' columnist from the San Francisco Examiner. She authored (65) short stories within a booklet featuring 'Family.' Mostly rants about how 'awful' our Sister was to her. Example: She asked, Vicky Lynn if she could borrow 5K to put down on a house; thinking since she had money to burn. But, Vic turned her flat-down; so much odd jealousy there. When in L.A. she always stayed at my home. Ah, sibling rivalry.
— Conflict with their kids ~ is there really a favorite child —
Mom had a lot of faces, as do most moms. She and Betty would go to the Wilshire Blvd Tea Rooms in their White-Gloved attire along with stylish hats of the day. And with 'Vic' they would saunter through the Farmers market; both big Pizza-Dog fanatics. She had a thing for all sorts of baubles; but detested show-offs. Mom wasn't just mildly superstitious - she would 'knock-wood' just walking down the street and go around the block before she would strut under a ladder - made us a little 'Nutsy' - This was due to childhood issues.
— Sarcasm doesn't fall far from the family tree —
Dad, an extremely proud man, with often gruff outbursts, once told one of my girlfriends who was reluctant to go out of the General offices into his factories for fear of getting mussed, "don't put money in your mouth, it isn't clean." Ooh, and he also preached to us if we are planning to go back to any 'service' establishment again to make certain to leave a hefty tip - you will be remembered - lesson learned.
Pragmatic: "Boys, in lieu of bail money ~ If I don't have to money-up to get you out of jail by the time you're (18) I will put that up to match you towards 1/2 of a car." He lived up to his word, without even a bit of coaching: Always the subtle character builder!
Twin, Lucky Lar, is into High-Stake Poker. I'm a coupon-clipper! He writes losses, if any, towards 'Entertainment Expense.' The winnings I'm not entirely sure about?
Life's choices can add to the differences between siblings. I've never had children, yet my Twin has both children and grandchildren. This has been a life-changer for both of us.
Dad would tease that "I'm only shooting blanks!" I have so much regret, never having had children, and that this part of my potential life experience has never been fulfilled. I had no idea there was so much research on this topic. But, I don't think I'll look the research up; then I might be apt to plagiarize the researcher's thoughts that may influence mine. Although, I know I'll get bombarded with 'Shrink' reviews anyway if I ask to have it published in this way.
Since nobody knows for certain at this point in our scientific journey, I am enjoying the fun of musing about the true nature of this human variety show we watch everyday. Obviously I’m not a geneticist. Tons of research, from all aspects of varying opinions, about family constellations exist (positions within a family) and how it affects our personalities and goals. And, yes, there are lots of triggers that family baggage instills in us, even as adults. This is just me taking the layman's spin to this issue; for better or worse.
— I'm just Human ~ In my own Way —
Jay Kantor, Chatsworth, California
'Senior' Vocal Author - Vocal Author Community -
About the Creator
Jay Kantor
Retired: Write for "The Kids Someday"
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Generation Gap
Author © Jay Kantor — OUR S.U.V. — The 1947 Chrysler Woody 'Vert – NO HYBRIDS here! The tank-metal craftsmanship is relic. Dad had a 'long-green' 4 door sedan whose grill served as a climbing 'Jungle-Gym.' The Toothy-Grills of the day. "Hit By A Buick" an everyday colloquial expression. This article is meant to Observe Point-Out our Senior verses the Newbies cultural differences and parallels – if any?
By Jay Kantor2 years ago in Families
Comments (19)
Well well well, I’m glad I came upon this, J-bud. I have one brother and 3 sisters and we are all so different. But the one thing we have in common with each other is love for each other. After becoming adults I don’t think we have ever fought or disagreed to the point of tarnishing relationships. This reminds me that it’s time to for us to get together. And I really enjoyed what your father said about staying out of jail as well as the term, Family Constellations. I think I’ll start using that. Great article J-Bro!
Jay, this is one of my favorites from you. You let us "in." Thank you for sharing your vulnerable heart. I wrote a compare/contrast story in college (30+ yrs ago) about my sister, "Poles Apart." I'll have to add it to this forum one day soon. Very little has changed throughout time. In your story, I love how your mom shared time doing what each child loved and I loved how your dad challenged ya'll (my southern vernacular) to do good. Sounded like wonderful humans!!!
Nice. I really like how you describe everyone and helped the reader identify with each family member. You took a complex subject and made it easy for a layman to understand. That takes magic.
Nice story. Like the way you identified each member. I don't have children either. I don't regret it, probably because I helped raise so many nieces, nephews and neighborhood children while I was still technically a child. We are all where we should be in life because of choices. Being happy and at peace are what I've achieved and am always excited for the next adventure. I've always put writing to the side to work or take care of others. For me, now iit's about writing and inspiring..
Dear Ms. P ~ Thank you so much for crossing over to the lonely out of the popular 'Senior-Demographics' arena. I had no idea that we were reaching anyone from your Generation? I've been 'Shouting-Out' to VM to give us a 'Senior' Category. Who better than non-digital former note passers to interact in this way; we all have favorite memories of our own to share! ~ Meant so much knowing that ALL Generations can 'Relate' to 'Family' from Gen to Gen ~ Ms. Poetic ~ Not a Poet and I know it ~ Albeit I've been scrolling through your lovely presentations one-by-one - as you've been doing with mine. Different Gen's from Different Folk ~ We're All the Same ~ - With Respect - Jay Kantor, Chatsworth, California 'Senior' Vocal Author - Vocal Author Community -
Amazing story. Really locked me in. 👏🏼
Dear Novel ~ My 'Last Valentine' was a Wonderfully-Wordy-Brit! Please take a moment to view todays 'Vocal Resource - Raise you Voice shootout' - I made mention of my favorite "NOVEL Approach" Jay
You are free to adopt all of us here at Vocal. Just in time to save us all. I am quite happy here with my adopted family. 👨👩👧👧👨👩👦👦
I was riveted by this story. So many drama moments in each version of our lives. I love that kinda kooky thing to your personality, Wonderfully beautiful.
Oh I felt this, Jay. This is something I’m always thinking about. Nature vs nurture. I’m the oldest of seven half-siblings. I’m nothing like any of them, especially the one I was raised with. Isn’t it funny comparing memories with siblings? You were both there, yet have two different stories of what happened.
I love this. Your writing style is very engaging. I have a bunch of siblings and 4 kids. You are so right just because siblings have the same parents doesn't mean they will be similar human beings. But I don't think that's a bad thing necessarily differences make the world interesting even if they don't always make sibling relationships easy.
Hello Jay. I'm so sorry that you don't have children. But please know that having children doesn't define who we are. Please don't be too hard on yourself. Hope you're doing well. Thank you for sharing this. It must have been difficult to write this but I hope it made you feel better.
insightful honesty as always from a highly sensitive author
Great article what an interesting family
Great story with clear comparisons. Loved it! I find the "sibling comparison" in families fascinating, and in "our era" the assumptions that we were like our brothers/sisters because we came from the same family to be so discriminating...especially by teachers! "Guilt by association", I think, was the term! Ha! Thanks for a peek into your past yet again!
I always tell my younger brother that the reason he's going bald and I'm not is that he swam in the wrong end of the gene pool. Most of my extended family I wouldn't know if they knocked on the door. My kids, grandkids, and great-grandsons are a whole different matter.
Aren't we all simply human in our own way? (Okay, so maybe not me. I've heard the rumors!)
Thank you for sharing a piece of life. When you have several siblings it is nice to take a look. I am the oldest and find it interesting to look at.❤️
Interesting story - Family members definitely have their own unique dynamics and characteristics. It makes for an interesting study. I enjoyed reading this!