Big Al

My father endured so many hardships in his life, still, he is the most light-hearted person I know. He continues to have all the typical dad jokes, punch lines, and funny insults. His great sense of humor has stayed intact throughout everything he has been through. As my main supporter throughout my life, he has instilled in me the best qualities of who I am today.

Raised in the 50s, he was rebellious and often got into innocent trouble with his younger brother. Just your typical young boys playing outside after school each day. Yet for them, coming home was never as easy as it should be for children. My grandfather was a train conductor and liked to drink after work. His daily adult frustrations were often directed at, and released upon his family. My father’s childhood was a hard tale to tell, to say the least. Until, in his teenage years he decided to take a stand and defend the ones he loved.

My parents were still so young, and only dating at the time, but I have been told this story by each of them. The story of my dad beating his own father with a car bumper in the front yard, on thanksgiving, after finding his mother bleeding and unconscious on the front porch. He had to set his father straight, and this gruesome upbringing led my father to become a better man. Still, he knew and cherished the important things in life.

Enlisting in the army was a decision of his own, and resulted in him becoming a tank commander. In 1973, my father was stationed in Germany. My parents were married with one child, and awaiting their second. When the baby was born too early and not breathing, my parents lived through a heartbreak that should never be known. Their two year old at the time fell down concrete steps causing a fractured skull. My parents were only 22 years old, living in a country where they didn't speak the foreign language, enduring one tragic event after another.

Years later and after 3 more still born babies, my parents had their family of 4 children, spanning 18 years from the oldest to the youngest. My father had to give up his motorcycles, which he enjoyed riding with certain bike groups. He started mowing the lawn and changing diapers. To keep up with my parents' lifestyle, my father drove tractor trailers and was rarely ever home. He ended up injuring his back and was unable to support his family for a time. His wife, who had also taken to drinking, just like his father, was always angry. As my parents drifted apart, the divorce did not come as a surprise. I was 4 years old at the time, and the youngest child was still in the womb. Yet, I have such distinct memories I associate with my father. Specifically, the sound the strings of a guitar makes.

In the following years, getting to spend a couple rare weekends at my dad's was always my favorite. He would pick us up Friday afternoon and take us to rent movies for the weekend. He always let us pick whatever we wanted, even if it was the same movie every time. We then would go food shopping for whatever snacks and junk food we desired for the weekend. We always begged him to make us brownies because he made them the best. I still remember watching him hold the bowl, stirring the batter with such speed it always amazed me. After the food shopping we stopped at McDonald's for dinner before heading home to his house. He would always have fun things planned for us to do, either playing games together or going somewhere fun for the day. I remember him sitting on the couch, his guitar in his hand, playing all the songs I grew up listening to. I knew most of the words and had specific songs I would request. Those songs he played every time for me, no matter how many times I asked. He always wanted to make us happy and see us smile. Those were the best childhood memories I have.

When I was 12 years old, I refused to live with my mother any longer, as we didn't get along. My father took me in, became my best friend, and helped me heal as he related to the childhood I endured. He did everything he could to give me what I had been deprived of up to that point in my life. I lived through my depression because I had my father to help guide me along the way. I learned how to forgive from my father. He taught me acceptance, strength, and what love is. Being so calm and collected always made him seem so cool in my young, teenage eyes. I strived to make him proud everyday, doing the best I could in school and throughout my education after high school. Even though I had a rebellious period as well, I never excluded him from my life and what was going on. He always was the cool dad that even my friends appreciated how laid back he was.

As I started my career and began my life as a young adult, I had my dad to count on for his full support. So when I decided to buy my first house, I wanted my father to be taken care of in return. He was monumental in helping me through this phase of my life. Years of trials and tribulations during the era of my maturing, my father was always by my side without judgment. When I went through tough times, my rock was always my father. My biggest fear was letting him down, but his unconditional love and support has helped mold me into the strong woman I have become.

To this day, certain songs can remind me of my dad, and bring a smile to my face. In recent times, we have begun lessons so I can learn the songs to one day play on my own. I share in his love of music and am thriving in learning something he loves and is teaching me. I still consider my father the best man I know and I am so proud. His peaceful ease of coping with life has influenced me to live life with happiness as much as possible. To take notice of the small things and cherish the parts of life that truly matter, is a lesson most people learn too late. I'm grateful my father is the person who raised me and taught me the way I will continue to cherish. Big Al is the very best.