Ashes to Ashes

Who likes to talk about death? No one really, but in my house, it has been discussed. I’m a divorced mom of 2 kids, 28 and 17. My daughter is independently on her own as a project manager, whilst my son is newly graduated and getting ready to start an apprenticeship to be an electrician. We have some weird conversations, some deeply funny, and sometimes deeply serious conversations. Welcome to a previous discussion of funeral arrangements.

As a parent, I never hoped to see my children pass before me, but you still need to be prepared and have this discussion with your kids. I just don’t know how this conversation came to pass.

To my surprise my daughter has decided her funeral will be a happy hour. Included with Bouncers to escort the people who never participated in her life during the living cycle. They will not be able to participate in her getting laid to rest cycle. There will be Shots of Tequila for everyone because my life was a blast with these people and my funeral will be a celebration of that life.

My youngest hasn’t thought about that yet, but he is also my procrastinator and will probably figure this out when his future spouse puts it on his plate.

Now for my future, way in the future funeral, I have requested that my kids cremate me. That discussion was something like:

“Why in the world would you want to be burned?”

“I just believe this body is just for Earth, not for beyond, there doesn’t even need to be a funeral.”

“Do you guys want to have a funeral for me?”

“Not, if you are satisfied without one.”

“So where would you like to be sprinkled?”

“Take me on a trip and sprinkle me in the ocean or something like that.”

Now this conversation has mainly been had between my daughter and myself, while my son is intentionally looking at his phone as though not engaged in the conversation at all.

As I begin to lose myself in thought thinking, at this point in life the most important people in my life will be these 2 and any kids they may have and a few close friends. So why not save a few dollars with Cremate, Sprinkle, and try to get back to normalizing life as much as possible.

My son, who has as I mentioned earlier is lost in his phone blurts out, “Mom, I think I want to sprinkle you in the ground and plant you with a new tree. So, you will be intertwined with nature but still close to us but not in my house.” To which I reply, “I like that idea, we will move forward with that.” He smiles and returns to his phone gazing.

Hylarium and heartwarming it is to hear him say this as he is in that typical teenager stage where he wants to be close but doesn’t want you to know that he needs you.

It is nice to know that when my time comes for Ashes to Ashes and Dust to Dust. That although, it maybe a trying time to my kids, they won’t be shocked in what needs to happen or what they will do with me.

It’s extremely, loving to know that I will be intertwined with a tree that my future grandkids will hang a swing, climb, and play under. I will be the comfort zone in which they will go to talk out their problems or frustrations with friends or by themselves.

Maybe, just maybe I will be awakened from my slumber from time to time to embrace them with a warmness that lets them know that I hear them, and everything will be ok.

Because sometimes, Ashes to Ashes and Dust to Dust can equal love to family.