Another Office

Tick, tock, tick, tock. The clock on the wall of the waiting room makes a chiming sound every second, driving me crazy. As I stare at the black second hand I wonder if the people who work here grow tired of hearing it all the time. I’m already tired of listening to it and I’ve only been sitting here for 15 minutes. I can only see the brown hair on the very top of the receptionist’s head because the counter blocks most of my view but she is sitting right below the clock. I don’t know how she stands sitting there forty hours a week with that chiming noise going off every second.

I sit in one of the chairs along the entrance wall facing the gray counter that acts as her desk. The space is simple, no excessive artwork, no fancy chairs, no elaborately designed tables. It was not like some of the other offices I’ve been to lately. My mother died almost three weeks ago and since then I’ve been to the offices of lawyers, insurance agents, funeral directors and I can’t even remember what else. Last week I met with the executor of her will and I thought that was the final office I would be visiting, but then I got a call from this insurance agent. Apparently there was another policy my mother left behind - forty thousand dollars that I didn’t know about. I managed all of her affairs for the past few years so it threw me off when this one appeared. Still it was a nice surprise and when I found out that she left me forty thousand - enough to take the trip to Europe I’d been planning for years and pay off the rest of my debt - I practically jumped for joy.

She was sick for almost seven years. When it first happened I moved back home and stayed with her, driving her to doctor visits, helping her cook and clean, sitting up with her when it got bad at the end. Over the years I slowly took over everything - from washing the dishes to paying the bills to managing her tenants. I still hadn’t adjusted to the idea that she wasn’t around anymore. When I went home to the house we shared I walked around sometimes wondering at the stillness. My life would never be the same again.

I look up as the door to the building opens with a chime and in walks my estranged brother. I’d seen him at the funeral of course but hadn’t had a chance to speak to him or rather had successfully avoided speaking to him. Prior to that I hadn’t seen him in ten years.

He was always the favorite child when we were growing up and because of that we never got along. It was difficult to like the sibling that your mother doted on. She pinned her hopes on him, like he was the only one who would be successful. Turns out she was right though. He was some hot shot Wall Street trader or something now and made lots of money. He left for college when I was just starting high school and spent little time at home after that. Even when my father left he didn’t bother coming home. And then when our mother got sick, where was he? Nowhere to be found. Me, on the other hand, I came home, I took care of her. I fulfilled my duty as a daughter. I certainly didn’t amount to the same success as him - stuck in this small town for the past seven years - but I was the better child, especially at the end.

I find myself glaring at him as he approaches the counter, speaking to the receptionist. He probably thinks he is the best thing in this little town with his perfectly pressed suit and fancy shoes. I lean in slightly to try and listen to what he’s saying but I cannot hear. I continue glaring at him as he sits down a few seats away from me but quickly look away when he glances in my direction. I sigh and feel him peek over at me. I look over at him again and make eye contact, daring him to look away. He stares right back at me, saying nothing.

A man walks up to the counter interrupting the unspoken conversation between us. He is tall and has a beer belly. He is dressed in a button down shirt and slacks - no tie. “Miss Smith, Mr Smith,” he greets us with a smile. “I am Don, the agent, if you could both follow me back to my office please.” We stand up and follow him. “Thank you so much for your patience and my sincerest apologies for the delay,” he says as he leads us to the office in the very back of the building.

“It’s no problem,” I answer with a small smile following him into his office. The room contains a large mahogany desk with an elaborate black chair behind it, two simple chairs in front of the desk, and a bookshelf along the wall. He gestures for us to enter and I take the seat closer to the wall simply because I entered the room first. My brother takes the seat next to me and after Don closes the door he takes the seat behind the desk.

Once we are all seated Don gives us his condolences for our loss. And then he speaks about the weather for a few minutes. And then the latest football game. And then he asks us if we want anything to drink. The small talk always drives me crazy - I am ready to get down to business. I never understood why these people thought I needed to chat with them for a few minutes, I am ready to go.

And finally so was he. “So thank you again for coming in. The reason I’ve called you here, as was mentioned on the phone, is your mother left a forty thousand dollar life insurance policy and listed the two of you as beneficiaries. Typically we hear about the death from a family source such as yourselves but this time we actually found out due to another life policy being cashed. I’m guessing since we did not hear from you about this one you were not aware of the policy?”

“No,” my brother answers quickly. Don turns and looks at me.

“No, I was not aware either. I’m sorry can I interrupt you for just one second?”

“Yes of course,” he responds.

“Did you say we are both listed as beneficiaries?”

“Yes that is correct, both of you are listed as primary beneficiary.”

“I see,” I say, my teeth grinding together.

“I thought the policy was just in my name,” my brother says leaning forward in his seat.

“I thought the same,” I say glaring at him and crossing my arms over my chest.

“All the other policies were in your name, she at least could have left me something.”

“Left you something? Why? Because you were such a great son?”

“I am the only successful child she has,” he responds with a smirk.

“Success can be measured in different ways.”

“You came back to this tiny town as soon as you could, didn’t even give the real world a chance.” He stung where he knew it would hurt. He was right of course I did have some trouble in the big city. But I came home to take care of my mother, I wasn’t running away. At least that was what I told myself almost every day.

“And you left and never looked back,” I say almost rising from my seat.

“Mr and Miss Smith, please, please calm yourselves. I’m terribly sorry, I did not mean to start a family quarrel. Perhaps it would be better if we discuss this separately.” He gestures toward the door and his secretary opens it. “Mr Smith would you mine going with Connie and I’ll be with you once I’ve finished speaking with your sister.”

“Very well,” he says spitting his words. He stands and follows Connie out of the door, slamming the door closed behind him.

“You see what I’ve had to deal with my whole life?” I ask crossing my legs and shaking my head.

Don gave me a small smile and a slight nod. “Yes, my apologies again, I did not mean to start a conflict within your family.”

“Trust me, it was already there.”

He nods and we finally get down to the business of why I am here. Now of course the payment is half of what it was supposed to be, thanks to my good for nothing brother. I walk out of the office with twenty thousand dollars, something that would normally make me happy but now is clouded by the interference of my brother. Something that will allow me to pay off my debt but nothing else, no trip to Europe for me.

I do not even glance at him on my way out of the office. I feel his presence but don’t dare to look in his direction, the heat of anger still boiling inside me. I close the door to the office a little harder than I intend and stomp across the parking lot to my car. I yank open the door and shut it closed behind me, slamming my hands against the steering wheel. I take a deep breath and my eyes drift to the glove box.

I know what lays within and it is calling to me. So tempting, so very tempting to begin again. But I shouldn’t, I tell myself turning my eyes back toward the dashboard. And yet… it calls to me again. I glance over at the glove box and pull it open. The little black notebook lays within. My eyes linger on it and finally my resistances crumble. I pull the notebook from it’s place and open the cover.

I run my fingers over the first plan. The first murder plan I created. A flawless plan that allowed me to kill my mother and get away with it. Would it really be so hard to dispose of my brother as well? I pick up a pen and begin again.