An Open Letter to My Sister

Dear Ashley,

When Joshua started dating you, I was ecstatic! I immediately considered you to be the sister that I never had. Having three older brothers made me cling to you, which annoyed Joshua to no end. I’m sure I was overwhelming (an eight-year-old girl that frequently ran around naked) to you (an only child), but you still tucked me in at night and listened to what I had to say. You have no idea how much that meant to me. I craved the connection that my brothers shared simply because they were boys. They had this shared inside understanding and I was jealous. You filled the void perfectly! And as I got older, that connection became even more essential to me. I remember feeling so cool when you would take me to the mall or to get a snow cone. It felt so nice to know that you actually wanted to hang out with me. When I was eleven or so, the bullying that I experienced at school got worse and I was in a really dark place, but your hangouts helped keep me going. You encouraged me without knowing it and made me feel wanted when it seemed like none of my other friends cared about me. In fact, you were the first person I talked to about my struggles with mental health because I knew that you wouldn’t freak out.

As I moved into high school, you would talk to me about boys, dances, school, and my hopes and dreams. You never once made me feel stupid or feel like I couldn’t achieve whatever I set my mind to. You supported and encouraged me in all that I did, especially my writing. You even encouraged me to understand my views on things. To know why I stood for the things I did. You encouraged me to look within myself and make sure that my beliefs were my own and not just things that my family believed. You made me think. Not just superficial thinking, but deep down, critical thinking. And although our beliefs usually never lined up, you treated me with respect and never looked down on me. You made me realize that it’s possible for opposite people to get along and have meaningful conversations about their differences. This realization was huge and is one of the things that I do not back down on now. When others don’t have that same mindset, and begin to yell at me, I demand respect because I know that it’s possible.

When I got into college, you were so excited for me and wanted to hear all the details. You heard about my favorite classes (Spoken Word Poetry and Beginning and Intermediate Poetry), the professor that drove me crazy (Mr. Netzley), the professors that I loved (Mr. Evans, Mr. Cochran, and Ms. Tigerlily), me changing my major (Education to English), my uncertainty and fears (finding a job), my failed relationships (Kevin, Tristan, Moses, and the guy who went on one date with me, found out I wasn’t Catholic, and then promptly ghosted me), etc. You heard about it all and never once wavered in your support for me. And when I walked across that stage to receive my degree, you were in the crowd cheering for me. You’ve been my sister through the ups and downs of life and I will forever be thankful for you!

Ashley, since the moment you came into my life, you have taken the roles of “sister,” “mentor,” and “best-friend” seriously. Over the last almost twenty years, you have put your time and energy and heart into making sure that I’m okay. You have seen me through so much and I don’t know where I’d be without you. I am so blessed that God put you in my life and that Joshua married you, because now you are officially my sister. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Love, Your SEESTER

Hannah