Always A Lady

His eyes began to twinkle. His face began to glow. A tender smile graced his face as he spoke of her.

"She lived to be 92 years old and I loved her every single day for 70 of those years." - Grandpa

Miss Webb - That's what most people called her. My papaw called her HoneyBee. My daddy called her Momma and I called her Mamaw-Mother. She was all of those things and so very much more. She was a classy, elegant lady. A fierce and loving picture of pure class and elegance.

Three days after my birth, my mother walked away and abandoned my dad and me. This wonderful woman took us back home with her and helped raise me. The lessons and love that I learned from her will remain within me for the rest of my life. A life that has been and forever will be better because she was a part of it.

Her name is Jean and she was born into wealth. She lived a life that provided her with nearly everything that she wanted and needed. She never had to want for much. But don't let this lead you to believe that she didn't face difficult and hard times. In fact, she faced more than her fair share of pain and hardships.

I remember sitting in pure awe as I listened to her amazing stories. She grew up on a southern plantation. Her family threw extravagant parties that even the governor would attend. Her mother's name was Clara, a proper southern belle. She wasn't a hands-on type of mother. Instead, my mamaw-mother was raised by a nanny. She lived in the same house with her parents, yet she barely even knew them.

I never knew for sure how they met, they came from two completely different worlds. In the early 1940's she met my papaw. This was not accepted well by her family. My papaw was a "rough around the edges" - poor boy. Oh, but my mamaw-mother confessed to loving him right from the start. Papaw has said it many, many times "She was the most beautiful woman that I had ever laid eyes on." She'd blush every time he said it.

Marrying my papaw resulted in two heartbreaking episodes for her. First, she was kicked out of the family. She was no longer welcomed or acknowledged by her parents. The day when she said "I do" was the very last time that she spoke to her mother.

Her father would still meet with her from time to time but it had to be done in secret. He didn't want anyone to see them together and he most definitely didn't want his wife to find out. This absolutely crushed my mamaw's heart. Can you imagine your own father being ashamed to be seen with you?

She was also denied all of her inheritance. When my great-grandmother died, my mamaw discovered that she had been removed from the will. Since she was the only child and the only living heir to the estate, her mother prepared for everything to be donated directly to the city. Within a year of the settlement, her beautiful plantation home was torn to the ground and replaced with a big garage and parking lot.

My papaw was a hard-working man but he was also a gambler. Mamaw-mother took a job in a sewing factory just to help make ends meet. She was allergic to the fabric dye and many times I saw her come home with her skin bleeding and raw. Her fingers would be so sore that she struggled to peel potatoes for dinner. Sometimes she even had to wear gloves to cover her hands. But you know what? I never once heard her complain.

Both of her sons (my dad and uncle) were called to the Vietnam War. She saved every letter and photo that they sent her. She often said that those were the hardest days of her life. Not know where her kids were or if they were even alive.

One night my papaw came home from a late-night gambling spree and informed her that he had lost their home in a game of cards. The next morning she was packing and preparing to leave the home that she had worked so hard to keep. She was so upset and hurt but her love for my papaw outweighed her anger and disappointment. Later, he brought her a new car in an attempt to make up for the house. Sometime later, he lost her car as well.

She taught me to love fiercely "even when things didn't go right, never give up on love. At the end of the day, love is all that matters. Not a home, not a car, and not money...if you truly love someone, that'll get you through anything." But she also taught me to work hard and to always be capable of depending on myself. "Never allow anyone to take your strength and capabilities away from you!" She would tell me that even if I was given the option to sit at home and be a lazy-trophy wife, to never settle for that. "Get out there and work hard, provide for yourself! Nothing in this life is guaranteed and absolutely nothing is given for free."

I never remember a single day that she didn't have her hair perfectly fixed and her lipstick on. Even when she went to work she wore her best dresses. She believed in being a true lady. That's another lesson that she taught me and I try each day to live by it as best I can. "Never let yourself go. Fix your hair, put a little make-up on, keep your clothes neat." Be proud of who you are and what you have no matter how little it may be. Face the world with the best version of yourself. Even if you don't walk off of the front porch, feeling nice and pretty is important for a woman. It keeps your spirits up, it makes you happy and it just feels good."

This lady taught me how to love like a lamb and fight like a lion for the things that I valued. Taking care of family and loving them is the most important thing, but taking care of and loving yourself is also important.

"Keep the house clean and the family fed, but make time to do your nails when your done." - Mamaw-mother

I learned how to make mountains out of hills with her guidance. Gardening all summer and canning food for the winter. Sewing and making my own beautiful clothes. Appreciating and finding goodness and beauty in even the smallest and most simple things. Those are only a few of the things that she taught me which have helped me through some hard times.

She taught me to love my friends and family as if tomorrow will never come. Never go to bed angry...always make amends before you go to sleep because tomorrow just might not show up. Learn to accept and to let go of the things that don't really matter. Cherish and fight like Hell for the things that do matter.

Mamaw-mother lived to be 92 years old and she was a real lady right up until her final day. Above is a photo of her 92nd birthday...she passed away suddenly three days later. She lived to watch her husband and both children pass before her.

She always joked and made the comment "I wanna die with my lipstick on." Only a true southern lady could make the happen.

She raised me like a mother and gave me the wisdom that only a grandmother can bestow. She taught me how to survive and endure but most of all, how to love unconditionally.

- And of course, how to be a lady.