Saying Goodbye

As we lose sight of a ship on the horizon, the ship remains with us. Where else would it go? To our perception, it grows smaller and smaller until it fades from view ... but this is only OUR perspective from where we stand. The ship remains the same size, with the same abilities, and the same purpose. We just can't see it anymore.

But on the other side of the horizon, people see it coming, not going. it grows larger and larger the closer it gets to their perspective and where they stand. When ultimately they see her directly in front of them, they see her true glory.

It was October, 27th, 2011, the last time that I saw my dad. He worked as a Boat Mechanic / Technician in other words he maintained and repaired inboard and outboard boat engines. His duties included disassembling and inspecting motors, replacing defective parts, adjusting timing or fuel-air mix as well as testing and evaluating motor performance at a range of speeds. He loved the open water and he had a real passion for his work.

He had recently finished a big job on a luxury sports yacht. The owner invited him to take a trip with him off of the coast of San Diego. This was a $300,000 boat and he was really excited about it. All he talked about for weeks was how amazing the yacht was. He even purchased an entirely new wardrobe for the trip. Saying that he was excited sounds like a complete understatement, he was ecstatic!

That morning my mom, sister, and I bid him farewell. He was off for his week-long trip on the boat of his dreams. We watched as they sailed away and waved until we couldn't see him anymore. Mom had walked ahead on her way back to the car. My sister and I finally decided that we could stop waving and turned to follow. As we walked up the steps leading to the parking area we heard an Earth-Shattering BOOM! People all around us were running and screaming and that's when I looked up and seen our mom. She was standing at the top of the steps with a look of pure panic and terror on her face. As I turned around to see what she was looking at all I could notice was huge, black clouds and flames leaping high up into the air.

"No! No that's not dad, that's a different boat!" I was screaming these words but I knew that it was in fact the yacht that my dad was on. Everything was fuzzy, I saw all of the chaos happening all around me. It didn't seem real, I felt like I was dreaming. Wake up! Wake up! But I couldn't wake up, I was already awake and what was happening was real.

We later found out that the cause of the explosion was due to portable gas equipment which had malfunctioned. The entire boat was likely filled with toxic fumes long before it combusted into flames.

Forever stuck in my head is the vision of my dad standing on the yacht, smiling his biggest smile and waving goodbye to us as he drifted away on the ocean that he so dearly loved and enjoyed.

I have since found peace in knowing that he was pursuing his greatest passion. A ship on the horizon is never truly gone from our sight. There are none who are lost. Where else would they go? We are all in One Universe, and all experiences that ever were and ever will be are already here in the present moment. In the NOW.

There’s no perfect end-of-life letter. There's no easy way to say goodbye. But this is to my dad, my way of saying goodbye to the greatest man that I ever knew or will ever know.

It was the smile on your face that set's me free. Seeing how happy you were, sailing away with the sun on your shoulders. That's where you wanted to be. That's where you found peace, happiness, and solitude. Each time that I see a blue wave crashing into the shore, I think of you. The beautiful ocean breeze always carries you back to me. It's hard to think of you as being gone because nothing is ever truly gone. It simply exists in a different way.

It is such an amazing view of crossing over from one world to the next. From the seen to the unseen. From the observable to the unobservable. And WE ... as the Observer in life ... are witness to the experience.

There are none who are lost. Where else would they go?