Alone for Christmas

I remember thinking that when my kids were all grown and had their own families, that the house would be full on Christmas. I could always imagine my husband and I sitting in the house with the grandkids running around while dinner is being finished. Then we would all eat around a hug table. Then open gifts around the tree.

You know when you first get married, those are the types of dreams that you have about your family. But life happens and sometimes that life takes a different turn. That was my dream. Combined my ex-husband and I have five kids who are all married now. A combination of sixteen grandchildren between four of our children and their spouses. But here I sit on Christmas Day alone and working, not because I had to work today, but because I picked up a shift because I wasn’t going to be spending it with my family.

Now my children are somewhat scattered. I live in Florida. I have the second to the youngest here with her husband and their kids. I have three children with their families in North Carolina and the youngest in Virginia. Since the divorce none of us have all been together for a holiday. Some have even drifted apart because our blended family was no longer blended. But I have maintained my love for all of my children and grandchildren. I still visit and give gifts to the all for Christmas and birthdays.

So, today is Christmas and I am sitting at work. I got text messages and video calls from my kids who are not here in Florida and spent about two hours with my daughter and her family that lives here.

I know my story is not different from a lot of us single, divorced moms, with grown children, but I wanted to inspire those that do have my story.

When our lives don’t always turn out the way we imagined, it doesn’t have to be bad. You can still live life to the fullest. I may not see all of my kids on the holidays, or even around the holidays some years, but like this year, I do get to see them all at different times between this weekend and next weekend. But holidays are not the most important days. I have learned that it is the days between every Christmas. All of the trips I get to take to spend with them, the weddings I have gotten to be at, the births of my grandchildren I have gotten to share, and the play time and trips that I take my grandkids on. Life my take a turn in a different direction from your initial dream, but don’t get discouraged. Just make new dreams and let those dreams be the best memories for you and your family.

I may sit at work on Christmas, alone, but I look forward to every trip, text, and FaceTime throughout the years. I am just grateful to be alive and breathing to be able to share in my kids lives, their dreams and their children’s.

Make every chance that you have with your children and grandchildren the best memory for all of you. Spend time together and make plans together that don’t revolve around the holidays. Life goes on, but live your best life no matter what the circumstances are or how they have changed how you thought life would be. Remember that love has no boundaries of state lines or distance. And with technology at a high where the internet and phones allow you to see each other face to face, there is really no excuse.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all!