Alex

As an identical twin, purple and pink were our original favorite colors. Nail polish on pinkies defined the decisions our parents made between us. With a ninety second difference between my twin and myself, Alex always capitalizes on her fate. I accept this universal choice with grace. Raised as an identical twin, we had our differences.

As we are both children of trauma, our family dynamics affected our physiology dissimilarly. The minimal self-esteem that capacitated my mental state impacted all areas of my life. Comparatively, Alex was known to have it all together. We were distinctly recognized based on our friend circles, hobbies, music taste, the list is endless. On the other hand, by age fifteen I was identified as "the patient" in both my immediate and extended family. Routine visits to psychiatrists, friends, and interests slowly dismantled my character as a successful family member. I no longer release negativity for the lack of a healthy household, generational trauma has influenced my family since World War Two.

The paternal lineage of generational trauma that I am aware of started when my grandfather was drafted to represent America in the 1940's. The only events that I understand are when my grandfather played the trumpet in the band, then eventually picked up a gun to defend himself. The man I knew wore one wooden leg and a faded green tattoo on his right forearm to classify himself during Nazi Germany. Moreover, I am not quite sure why America prioritized bands during times of conflict.

On my maternal side, my grandparents were Italian citizens during World War Two. Growing up, family dinners consisted of stories about the Italian social climate during the 1940's. Living underground in bunkers for weeks at a time was not uncommon. Many years later, my Italian grandparents relocated my mom and aunts to America as immigrants with minimal English literacy and no money. The elders in my family were raised with a double identity childhood. In the home, Italian was spoken and adult responsibilities were required; meanwhile, public behavior encompassed English communication and homemade Halloween costumes.

So, when you ask me why Mercury is relevant to my story, I will tell you; my Mercury in Scorpio grants Alex and myself high aptitudes for emotional intelligence and communication. As a creative writer and poet, I use these mediums as a catharsis.

Alex and I have grown in love with each other. We have matching mannerisms, humor, and love for creativity. In recent time, I produced a light poem dedicated to Alex. It goes as follows.

Alex,

You, me, cool, Juuls, fools. That's what I tell myself when I look at you. I see my face when you smile, and I see the joy in your eyes when you talk about traveling. See, Alex is complex, but she's the only soul I want in this world. I laugh at your play, and your sorrows are my tears you can feel the next day. We rap Biggie and together we're string cheese. No one goes hard like you and me. The 5G theory made sense to me, but people don't see what we see. We have the same thoughts when someone's talking and we're listening. Alex, I love you. You can call me anytime, and I'll know that you called, even when my phone dies.

Vocal, thank you for sharing this opportunity, I protect this part of myself. I am grateful Vocal has presented another challenge that we as writers have our own agency.