"A Letter to My Unborn Children"

By and large inspired by a couple of back to back viewings of Hamilton and fear that my current children will be at a private viewing of me before I have the chance to drop these random gems on them.

Without further ado-

My sons,

Never surprise a woman with a first kiss, and remember the '91 Red Hot Chili Pepper jam "If You Have to Ask" from their classic album called Blood Sugar Sex Magik. As an alternative, plainly state your intentions in a declarative statement rather than an inquisitive or imperative one.

A few options: "I'd like to steal a kiss"; "I'd love to taste your chapstick"; or just Keep It Super Simple (KISS), "I'd like to kiss you now." She may look at you funny and she might politely decline.

However, it's highly unlikely that she'll slap you across the face and/or with a reputation destroying lawsuit. Also, nine times out of ten, you'll be able to "feel the vibe" and instinctively know if she actually wants to press her lips against yours in a show of affection.

Last pro tip on kissing for now: I'd imagine that this goes without saying, tho, many women are essentially finicky about Public Displays of Affection (PDAs). They justifiably desire privacy, for the most part, when intending to allow your tongue to embrace theirs.

In case it's not clear: Kissing often leads to more, and the average young woman is not incredibly likely to be into voyeurism (aka sex in public).

Which reminds me: If you happen to actually "Behold a Lady" as André 3000 so eloquently distinguished from a woman, or girl, back in the late September drop of 2003's Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, hold on to her tight and "never [let] another woman know something about [you] that she [doesn't] know"- JAY-Z on his June 30th, 2017 eponymous release, 4:44.

Very last couple of pieces of romantic advice (I believe): Never talk about sex immediately after it is over, and completely refrain from intercourse with women that you don't want to potentially be linked to forever if a child results from said act. However, that doesn't mean you can't have platonic and/or Bizz relationships with young ladies that you only desire physically.

A financial pro tip your Uncle Denny just shared with me today during one of our patented debates: "Your bank account is a reflection of your philosophy." He was paraphrasing from the late, great Jim Rohn.

Back to back Denny-Boy: "If you graduate from high school; save children for after marriage; and work a job, career, or trade, you have a ridiculously favorable chance of being successful (aka financially independent) in life."

Three-peat: "It's unbelievably pleasant to have options. The better your savings account looks, the more options you have in this crazy world"- (me paraphrasing) Uncle Denny.

To my princesses,

The previous pro tips more or less apply to y'all too; especially the ones by your Unc. Also, there's almost no reason whatsoever to ever turn your backs on each other.

Never stop reading; "periodt!" As the adage goes, "If you want to hide something from a Black man [or woman], put it in a book."

While we're on the subject: Question everything; especially what you see and/or read in the mainstream media (aka MSM, or "Lame-stream" Media). If they believed that they could feasibly get away with it, they'd quite possibly be actively and openly promoting pedophilia (aka sex with prepubescent children).

Piggybacking: Some people arguably deserve to be killed. If someone is vile enough to attempt a violent act against you and/or your loved ones, especially if it's sexual and most definitely if it's sexual towards your prepubescent children, then "a quick death is more than they deserve"- Fernando "Ferfal" Aguirre (from his late 2009 title, "The Modern Survival Manual: Surviving the Economic Collapse").

Of course, the immediately preceding advice is applicable to you too, my young princes. In addition, just as the elders of the Fam would wish upon all of y'all: "Bless up".

Tl;dr- I sincerely pray that my first and only painting purchase- pictured above- doesn't cause too much, or any infighting rather; and that it can appreciate in value while all of you appreciate it. It's a wonderful, one of a kind collaboration (aka collab) piece by a couple of beautiful besties; not wholly unlike y'all.