A Family In Turmoil

Loved ones fight sometimes because no one can get along 24/7 year-round. Problems arise throughout the year, and we hope that we make up and get along once again. What if from a fight you can’t make up? What happens then? Will things ever be the same? Can a family heal?

I have had a best friend named Lizzie for over 20 years, so I know her family just like she knows mine. Over the years she has shared stories and I even witnessed part of a fight between Lizzie’s brother and her parents. The fights are not pretty and she either comes over to my house or stays in her room until it’s over with. These fights usually start for a stupid reason, but they end with her brother cussing out her parents, slamming doors and leaving either for a few days or a few hours. They always seemed to be able to make up eventually over the next couple days. It had been at least a year or two since the last fight, but unfortunately, I received a call the other day from Lizzie, and they have had their biggest fight yet.

Lizzie’s brother can be the sweetest guy ever, but he also has a major attitude problem. He can be hard-headed and when he picks on you for some reason or another you either must ride it out until he decides to stop, or you yell at him to stop. Unfortunately, I’ve seen that yelling at him to stop makes him angry so it must seem like a losing situation. Over the years I have noticed that her parents have a short fuse when it comes to him. I feel sorry for him sometimes because when I have witnessed it, his parents go off on him over what seems to me something so small. Lizzie, I know has tried to defuse the situation or stick up for him over the years, but he is unaware of that part. She has also told only me that no matter how much she loves him she fears his attitude because something so minor does set him off. Her mom told her recently that she feels like she must walk on eggshells around him in her own home and that she shouldn’t have too. I have noticed from the years of knowing all of them that Lizzie’s mom and brother are so much alike. Both Lizzie and I believe that because of that, they clash a lot more than anyone else in her home.

The fight that occurred a couple days ago sounds different from the other fights they have had before. Lizzie mentioned her mom has decided that she is kicking her brother out of the house. Side note, all of us are in our low 30’s, but Lizzie and her brother still live at home with their parents. So, what lead to this fight you’re wondering well I only know what I have been told.

So, Lizzie’s mom was watching TV and her brother was being himself and being a pest, which usually starts after he smokes his weed. At least I think it’s weed, but no matter what it is the smell is horrible it stinks up Lizzie’s whole garage. I don’t know if this was the case here, but chances are it was. Anyway, Lizzie’s brother came into the living room where his mom was watching TV and he started being a pest and picking on the animals. He was being loud enough that his mom said “shhhh” and in returned he copied her and said “shhhh.” That went on for a couple minutes in which his mom then said, “will you shut up?” Well, that statement seemed to set him off and he started cussing and slamming doors along with cussing his mom out. I was told that he slammed a cabinet door so hard he broke it. All this chaos occurred because he wouldn’t be quiet when asked so his mom could watch her TV program.

Lizzie heard all this from her mom because she was in the basement and was unaware that anything like that was going on. She had been upstairs maybe an hour earlier, and everything was fine. Lizzie said she received a random text from her brother asking if she wanted his PS4 and laptop. When she received that text, she knew something was up because he loves his video games. A few minutes later she said her mom called her upstairs and told her it was WW3 going on in the house. Her brother was packing his things to leave and had no plans to come back. I know from Lizzie that he has done something like this a few times over the years, but this time was different because her mom stated that she wants him out of the house. That she will not be disrespected or yelled at anymore in her own home, which I understand. Something else that is different is that he asked for his social security card, birth certificate and the titles to his car and motorcycle. Lizzie said that it’s the first time he has ever asked for those things no matter how bad the fights got.

Lizzie tried talking to him, but he is too far into his anger that no matter what she said to him he just wouldn’t hear it. He mentioned to her that he’s leaving and not coming back. That her mom believes he’s a drug addict so he said that even though he is not a drug addict, he will become one now to show her what being one looks like.

So, now her family is in turmoil, and I feel helpless because I can’t help her. Her family dynamic is different already from a lot of families and I know she is terrified that if her brother leaves that is the end of their relationship. As of right now though Lizzie says her brother has not moved out, but that is probably because he has nowhere to go and not a lot of money to get a place of his own. I don’t know what is going to happen over the next couple days, but even if her brother moves out, I do hope that Lizzie’s family can heal and that a son doesn’t disown his family and parents don’t lose a son over something so stupid.