721 Heart Shaped Everything

In June of 2006, I thought my life was where it was supposed to be. I had a job working for a small locally owned business. I was recently promoted to the Store Manager. My husband, at the time, was working for the railroad as a conductor, and we had a 1 year old little girl. We owned a small home in a small city. Little did I know, big things were on the for me. For my career and for my life. Little did I know...my life would quickly turn upside down, one event after another. For me, my life started over for the first time in 2006. I had minor monumental moments between 2006 and 2015, where it would start over for a second time, but lets not get ahead of ourselves.

Not to say that my dad wasn’t a man of many words. He enjoyed talking to everyone. He was quite the social butterfly. He was know as “Super Neighbor” in our neighborhood. If your car broke down, he would help you try to figure it out, fix it, or give you a ride. If you weren’t feeling great or too busy, he would mow your lawn. If you were elderly, he would shovel your snow and put ice melt down on your sidewalk. He was a helper by nature. I always admired that about him. In June, when I got my promotion to store manager, he wrote me a letter shortly after.

It was weird. The wording in the letter wasn’t weird, it was the action of why did he give me this? My initial gut feel was that he was leaving. I had this strong overwhelming feeling that this was a goodbye letter. Did my dad have cancer? Was he feeling bad and not telling anyone? Was he dying and not doing anything about it? But I didn’t say anything about my feelings. I didn’t tell anyone my thoughts because I thought I was being silly. My dad is only 44 he couldn’t possibly be dying.

When you were younger did you ever think about the possibility of your parents dying? I did. Sometimes my brain would just randomly think of a scenario of what if your mom died today or what if your dad died today?

THOSE THOUGHTS TERRIFIED ME AS A KID. I also never told anyone about these thoughts, because they are depressing. (sorry mommy) Sometimes, I think back and wonder if something was trying to prepare me for the loss of one of my parents without actually telling me which one it would be. I think everything happens for a reason regardless of how good or bad it may be.

July 21, 2006

I was at the drive in with my husband and his family watching Pirates of the Caribbean: Deadman's Chest (I had to google which of the POTC movies was released in 2006 because I remember ZILCH about that movie). That’s when I got the phone call from my mom that my dad was taken to the hospital. That’s the night my entire world would change. That’s the night that I drove 45 minutes from the drive in, like a wild woman, straight to the hospital balling my eyes out the entire time. That’s the day that I knew my dad wasn’t going to make it. That’s the day that I was right about all my thoughts.

My dad was 44. FORTY-FOUR. He died of a massive heart attack referred to as The Widow Maker. I was 20 years old.

I started seeing 721 everywhere. Why 721?

7= July | 21=Date | July 21 is when he passed away.

I saw 7:21 as the time and I don’t mean I was waiting and staring at the clock until it would turn to 7:21... I mean, I would look up and be like OHHH WOW... 7:21 on the dot, hey dad!

I saw 721 on peoples license plates. I saw 721 as a HWY sign when my family went to Florida on vacation. I saw $7.21 as my receipt total.

721 was everywhere and spirals into another rabbit hole that I will save for another story.

My 21st birthday was just a few months away, in September. My mom told me that my dad had actually put in for a vacation day. He planned to surprise me and take me out for my birthday. I was at my moms house dropping off my daughter because the festivities were going to continue on, as life does. While walking back to my car I noticed a rock right outside of my car door. I thought it was super weird because it wasn’t there when I first got to my moms house. She had rock next to the side of her house, so it wasn’t uncommon for rocks to end up on the concrete part of the driveway. Normally I just kick them back over. What struck me odd though, was that I was 99% sure that it wasn’t there when I first got there. I picked it up and it was in the shaped of a heart. The moment I picked it up, my first thought “Hey Daddy”. I then, of course, cried.

This wouldn’t be the last heart shaped rock I would find. I only shared this with my mom and a few people, because I thought people would think I was crazy and grasping for straws. Please note: I did not believe / really know what / the spirit world was / is at this moment in my life. I just knew there was something more than just living, having a family, and working a 9-5 job.

I would continue to find heart shaped rocks throughout the years. They started out only in my moms driveway. I would collect them each time I would find them. I later started to see them at my new house. My husband, at the time, and I moved into a larger house in 2008. I believe sometime in 2009 is when my heart shaped rocks expanded into heart shaped everything. The first “item” I found was a gum wrapper in the shape of a heart. It was flattened out, you know what I mean right? The silver piece of foil looking thing that wraps around a stick of gum. Anyway... it was RIGHT IN FRONT OF the door that entered my place of work.

It’s hard for me to remember when I first started posting my heart shaped things to social media. I want to say it was around 2015 but don’t quote me. I went back through my first facebook account that I had from 2009-2015 and I didn’t see any uploaded photos with heart shaped things. Within the last 3 years I started using hashtags with my posts #heartshapedeverything #721 anytime I post my finding. It has turned into a “thing” with my friends and family. They now see heart shaped things and send me photos when they find them. Whether that be in a text message, private message on facebook/instagram, or post it directly on social media and tag me. It’s pretty awesome!

#heartshapedeverything are small reminders to pause in your day, in that moment, take in everything around you. Appreciate that you are alive, you are here, you are human, you are learning, growing, evolving.

#heartshapedeverything is a hello from my dad. Those hellos give me hope, that whatever is going on, will be ok. I see the hearts when I am happy about something, when I am stressed, sad, angry, and confused. I see them when I am feeling every and any emotion. I also see them when I am on my merry day and not thinking or worrying about anything. Kind of like, if a friend texts you out of the blue. That’s my dad!

#721 is the same as the above. The numbers and the hearts are him. So if you ever wonder why my photography name is 721vanessa Photography... that’s my why.

New instgram account dedicated to all of the hearts I find! @heartshapedeverything721