6 Ways You May Experience Grief

Have you ever felt that you aren’t going through grief in the right way? If so, know that there are lots of different kinds and what you are experiencing is totally normal. Grief is that hard-to-describe mix of feelings after you lose a loved one or even a cherished part of your life, like a job you loved, or if your best friend moved away, and it’s something that we will all eventually go through.

But first, this is a disclaimer that this article is for informative purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose or treat any condition. Please reach out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional if you are struggling.

With that said, here are 6 different types of grief you may experience.

1. Normal grief

Normal grief is when you are able to continue with everyday life while still grieving a loss, though the length and severity of grief will be different for everyone. It might seem to others like you are living life as normal, but it’s common for bursts of severe symptoms and emotions to occur out of the blue. However, these gradually lessen over time as you learn to live with a “new normal”. It can also have physical symptoms like loss of appetite or weight gain, insomnia, tiredness, and general aches and pains.

2. Anticipatory grief

Anticipatory grief occurs before death and is common for people who have a loved one with a terminal illness, or if you have a pet you have to put to sleep. This type of grief often involves more anger and loss of emotional control and other reactions that aren’t typical, and this may happen when you feel helpless to do anything.

3. Complicated grief (AKA Persistent Complex Bereavement Disorder)

According to the Mayo Clinic, some people don’t really recover and strong emotions of grief don’t improve even a long time after the loss has occurred. This is complicated grief, where you have trouble living your life again. The timelines and phases of grief are different for everyone, and that’s normal. But if you’re unable to move on after more than a year since the death of a loved one, you may have complicated grief. If so, please seek treatment from a mental health professional.

4. Delayed grief

Delayed grief is any reaction that occurs later than normal. According to WIkipedia, delayed grief happens when the normal reactions to the loss of a loved one is delayed or postponed to a later time, even years later, and the reactions might be triggered by a seemingly unrelated event, like the death of a pet or a break up of a relationship.

5. Disenfranchised grief (AKA hidden grief)

Disenfranchised grief is grief that is often minimized or not understood by others which can make it difficult to deal with because others can’t relate or understand what you are going through. Some examples of disenfranchised grief are: the death of a pet, the death of an ex-partner, the death of an online friend, or the death of someone you didn’t know, like an absent parent.

6. Absent grief

If absent grief happens to you, it can make you wonder if there’s something wrong with you. You might ask yourself, “why am I not sad or upset?” The APA Dictionary of Psychology defines it as when “a person shows no, or only a few, signs of distress about the death of a loved one.” This could be because you are denying or avoiding the reality of what has happened. Listed below are a few different reasons for absent grief.

1) Your idea of grief isn’t based in reality but instead on family or cultural attitudes.

2) You experienced anticipatory grief and have already done some grieving.

3) Sometimes it can take a while for the loss to sink in.

4) You might be in shock. Like not having sunk in right away, the reality of the loss may not feel real to you.

5) You have a lot of other stuff to deal with. After the passing of a loved one, there’s lots to do and plan, like the funeral, or making sure other family members are looked after and you might think you don’t have time to grieve until everything else is taken care of.

6) You weren’t close with the person, even if they are a family member, which might be why you aren’t grieving like you expected.

So if you are going through any sort of grief or loss, know that you are not alone, and any type is normal. If you need support, please reach out to a professional. Have you experienced any of these types of grief? Let us know in the comments below.

Take care!

NOTE: This article is originally published on Psych2go.net here, and is republished with their permission.

Check out another of my Psych2Go articles here:

REFERENCES:

Small, J. 10 Different Types of Grief and Loss. Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique https://www.qhhtofficial.com/healing/different-types-of-grief-and-loss Accessed July 31, 2021.

Mayo Clinic. (2021, June 19) Complicated Grief. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/complicated-grief/symptoms-causes/syc-20360374

Wikipedia.org. Delayed Grief. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_grief. Accessed July 31, 2021.

Raypole, C. (2020, March 30). Disenfranchised Grief: When No One Seems to Understand Your Loss. https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/disenfranchised-grief

Haley, H. (2021, January 21). What’s Your Grief.com Absent Grief: Why Am I not Grieving Like I Expected To? https://whatsyourgrief.com/absent-grief-why-am-i-not-grieving-like-i-expected-to/

Eldridge, L. (2019, Nov 19). How Anticipatory Grief Differs From Grief After Death. VeryWellHealth https://www.verywellhealth.com/understanding-anticipatory-grief-and-symptoms-2248855 . Accessed July 31, 2021.