What I Learned From a Self-Love Course on Udemy

I purchased this course a while back and completed it today! I actually am quite proud of myself for studying something that called to my soul. ⋆｡°✩

I snagged a Udemy course deal so I didn't actually pay full price for the course. But it was so worth it in my mind. 𖦹

I am on a journey of self-love and have been for a while. So I found a lot of value in this Udemy course and it cemented in my brain that I am indeed on the right path.

I have a song stuck in my brain that I also wanted to share with you all.

One day, while at my daughter's dance class, I was conversing with another mom. We talked for a while and then one of her kids came up to me and pointed at my hair and facial piercings. So to try escape judgement from the other mom, I told her daughter that I just enjoyed being myself. She then asked about my skin. I have vitiligo and have for a number of years. It used to embarrass me when people pointed it out but now I just politely explain what it is and tell them that it's just a part of me. I did however come home that day and tell my partner that I'm dying my hair back to a normal colour because of how embarrassed I was over the interaction with that child.

But then, I gave it some more thought. My kids find my funky hair cool. I love it personally. It allows me to be expressive and feel like myself. So what if I don't look like "most" of the other moms out there. My kids love me for who I am. What would I teach my daughter by dyeing my hair back to it's original colour?

Then I found this course. And I knew it was made for people like me who are on their journey to love themselves.

So what did I learn?

You are in charge of your self-love journey- and there is no time-frame to that either.

I learned you have to learn how to love yourself first in order to help teach others to love themselves. In my brain, I want to teach my children that skill early on in life so they don't go through the same self-loathing period that I did as a young adult. Put your own oxygen mask on before you assist someone else. It's for you. In order to help your family and your friends, you have to be okay first. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

I will cherish every single woman that taught me self-expression is more important than fitting in.

My mission is never to be perfect, but to be organically me.

You are the only person that you can be. Nobody can replace YOU. Learning how to love yourself is a life-long challenge that many people never, manage to get through. By sharing your journey of self-love, you are inspiring others to fully become who they are.

Personal freedom of expression and society have to maintain some form of balance of we would be in complete anarchy. You cannot go around hurting others to fill your own cup back up.

Embrace who you are as an artist. You are the designer of your life.

There is some form of safety net in following "the herd" but the risk of embracing who we are and leaving "the herd" behind leads to greater reward. The desire to be safe usually outweighs the desire to be a free thinker.

Most people want you to fit inside a box because they are the ones stuck following "the herd" of society.

There will always be someone out there that judges you but acceptance is found in unlikely places.

Back to my story about that interaction at dance class.

One day when I was waitressing in the restaurant that I used to work at, a table of older men pointed at my hair and facial piercings and asked me, "What do the kids call this look now a days?"

I didn't know how to reply at first as they put me on the spot. But this is what I said. "I think people would say goth or scene, but I like to think it's just me expressing my individuality and being myself."

They liked that answer. As they were leaving, they told me these exact words. "Never stop being yourself."

That's what this course explains. You have to love yourself for being who you are not despite of who you are. There will be some conflict during your discovery of self-love because of expectations of who you are supposed to be from another persons perspective. Such as a parent or a teacher or even your employer. As long as you don't bring harm to others, you are allowed to be your uttermost true self. Act in beauty, not from a place of hurt or hate.

Remind yourself that you're not meant to fit into a pretty little package. You are meant to be you. Learn how to accept yourself.

"I love myself through all of my oddities."

Use this saying as your self love mantra

Learn how to unlearn approval seeking behaviour. You are taught from a very young age to seek someone else's approval. Whether it be your parents or teachers or even your boss. Find that approval in yourself rather than someone else.

People use tactics to lower your self esteem because it raises theiors. When you are so full of self-love and confidence, you don't need another person's approval in order to be happy. This is something I am truly still working on. As long as what you are doing doesn't harm yourself or others, then proceed to be your uttermost true self. People can be messed up. Don't let that define who you are.

STOP SELF LOATHING FOR YOURSELF.

Use your wisdom to make decisions on what is good for you and what isn't. When you know better, you do better.

Own your decisions. You don't owe any0ne an explanation for being yourself. As long as you are not harming others on your journey, then you have no need to worry.

You can become a beacon of hope for other's when you learn how to love yourself. It feels more free to be yourself than to be a second rate version of someone else. You can be an inspiration to others when you discover the power of self-love.

I compiled a list of things I love about myself:

• My eyes. I love using bright eyeshadows and always have. People may judge me for it but I will forever remember the twelve year old girl inside of me trying out yellow eyeshadow for the first time.
• I started wearing jewelry that I love. I love rings now. Ever since I got my aunt's infinity ring I have been obsessed with jewelry on my hands and wrists. As I'm writing this now, I have four on at the moment.
• My funky colours in my hair. I love my hair. I really do. I was always too afraid to dye my hair fully but then one day I said to myself that you only live once and decided to change my usual red to a bright pink. I never looked back.
• Lipstick. I love wearing bold colours on my lips. I always feel just a tad bit more powerful with my lips done.
• My tattoos and piercings. The body modification I have done, always came from a place of self-love. I just love mine because I feel like walking art sometimes when people point them out. I can respect other's choices to not modify their body though.
• I stopped forcing myself to pluck my eyebrows and just let them grow despite of what others may think. I have been doing that for over a year now and I loved making that choice for myself.
• I love my heart and how big it is. I care so deeply about others and always have been that way. When I was going through my self-loathing period, I closed my heart off to a lot of people and became "heartless" but I wasn't acting from a place of self-love back then. I was just acting from a place of hurt.

I firmly believe that healed people hear differently. And I strive towards healing myself from past pain and past traumas daily.

I'm so excited to continue on this journey of self-love that I had to share my thoughts on this course with you all. 🥰

A HUGE THANK-YOU to Sufani Garza, for teaching me some valuable life-long lessons in this course.

These were just some of my notes from the course summed up into a little post for you. There is MUCH more learning to be done from actually purchasing the course in full.

Chloe Rose Violet🌹