Top 10 Things English Majors Understand
Do the math, I will do the English.
Here is a list for you English majors, which you have probably experienced in your degree.
- Taking an English class with so many psychology students. This is a struggle because you will suddenly find yourself in a class that is talking about Alice Monroe's mentality and her state of mind, rather than the in-depth text itself. We English majors read, analyze, and write essays, we do not speculate on a fictional characters mindfulness unless if it significant.
- Oh so you wanna be a teacher? No. Just because I am in English does not mean we all want to be teachers. Geez! Some of us want to get a PhD or a Master's Degree and carry on with English, others will want to go into film, become script writers. Or some of us want to be writers, but we want some sort of informative background! There are many jobs that are useful to have a degree in English, such as business or administration. It is not just teaching.
- So why did you chose English? This question will come up often and most of the responses you will get is, "I can't math or science" and yes said in those exact words with the horrible grammar that comes with it. Many of us barely passed math but most of us were in Advanced Placement English. The reason that I personally am in English is because, "I can't English or math" and because I want to be a writer. Truth be told I had to upgrade English, but it was totally worth it!
- Oh you only have an essay due? Yes, I actually have four essays due all consisting of twelve pages. And all you other majors have to do is write an exam? Yeah...I would rather write ten papers than write two exams. Sorry, but my writing is what gets me my marks.
- Wait! We need to write an exam in three hours consisting of one essay and short answer questions! Yes, our fingers hurt at the end of that, sometimes we don't have time to plan an essay, and we are sometimes expected to sit down and write straight without stopping because we don't have the time.
- You planning to go into English? And you don't believe in feminism? Hah, yeah good luck with that buddy. You will start to realize what women were treated like in poetry and in short stories and realize: damn women had no rights!
- We have heated debates over what the author's intent was. We can see that publishers sensitize and censor the things that readers don't want to read. So how much of it are we really reading that is the author?
- English majors attack people's ideas and not the person, that is a very good thing to know. We don't have to agree all the time to everything, our views may be different. Calling someone stupid for what they think is not the way to go about a healthy debate.
- Other classes? Yes, we sit in the back and don't say much because most of what comes out of our mouth should be well articulated and like I said before, we can't science or math. It is not our strongest suit.
- Going out? You can forget that! Pass me a book or a movie and a cup of tea. It's nine o'clock and you want to go outside and grind against other hot bodies and come back smelling like alcohol and weed. Forget it, I will sit under my blanket and be anti-social. Thank-you very much.