The harder you work, the more anxious you get? Be aware of the trap of self-objectification

In the next three classes, I'm going to talk to you about three kinds of suffering that we modern people often encounter in our social and psychological lives, the sources of these suffering, and the impact they have on us. We'll also talk about how they relate to self-care, and how self-care can help us cope with these times of suffering and create a healthy and happy psychological atmosphere and personal life for ourselves even when the objective conditions are less than ideal.

In this lesson, we will talk about the first kind of pain that is most common in modern people: the pain of self-objectification.

Self-objectification is probably a rather foreign term to most people, and it originally comes from social philosophy. Materialized means when we see or treat a person's time, we do not regard him as a person, a life, feelings and subjective will, may also have their own limitations, but see him as an object, a thing, can according to the need to control, put, or for own use, or casually discarded, it can be to treat him, This is called objectification.

The materialized attitude and way of thinking have several characteristics. First of all, the parties are prone to regard others simply as a tool to satisfy their own needs or to complete a certain function. Like this guy if he's always there for me, then he's useful, otherwise what do I need him for? This is a typical way of thinking about people as tools. Secondly, the parties will think that people and things are equivalent or interchangeable. For example, like evaluating goods, people around them including themselves will be evaluated. How much is this person worth, and that person is no longer valuable to me. In addition, people often think that people's emotions and subjective feelings are meaningless and even unnecessary. Just like things, we don't need to care about how things feel. You don't need to care about the shoes you wear today. To sum up, the other person is just an object for us to satisfy and provide value, and we don't need to care about his or her feelings. The function is done.

This may make you think that the objectification way of thinking makes sense in some ways. Isn't that how many transactions go on in our lives? But when it comes to our personal lives and psychological experiences, things get complicated. I believe that most people are self-centered and self-centered, and most of us probably feel like we're part of the human race, so if you're objectifying the people around you, it's hard to make a sudden U-turn in how you view yourself. Unintentionally, when you degrade others as objects, you degrade yourself as well -- you become an object. And this self-objectification takes a huge toll on our human chances and ability to experience happiness and joy.

The earliest studies on the psychological effects of objectification and self-objectification come from Western studies on women, who are often seen in social media and male perspectives as tools to meet reproductive and sexual needs. As a result, women themselves sometimes come to identify with such roles, which leads to the objectification of them from the outside world, and their self-objectification. Studies have found that intense self-objectification can cause a person to experience more negative emotions, which in turn can lead to more physical and psychological problems, such as depression, eating problems and sexual functioning problems. Their self-awareness and intellectual performance sometimes go along with it, thus attracting social attention.

And of course people are interested in, why does self-objectification produce such psychological characteristics? It turns out that these psychological effects are related to the materialized way of thinking that we talked about.

First of all, we say that the objectified person will see others as objects and tools, while self-objectification means that a person will see himself as objects and tools. In other words, the objectified person does not actually see himself as a person, but only as a tool to obtain benefits and create value. Think about it. How would you feel if you walked down the street and people didn't treat you like a person? That must have been terrible. But here's the thing: you don't see yourself as a person either, which is worse than being seen as a person, because you spend 7 times 24 hours with yourself, sleeping and dreaming with that "you're just a thing," and you don't even realize it.

Not only that, but if we think of ourselves as objects, we don't value our emotions, emotions, and even our social and physical needs. Because our daily life habits are "tools do not need to care about its feelings", when have you ever cared about your bag today mood? This is something that has nothing to do with you and you have never even thought about it. And if we expect the same of ourselves, we're in big trouble.

I have heard more than one visitor or friend say that emotions are so troublesome that I wish I had no emotions. If I could work like a computer, I would be perfect. Of course, that would be perfect, but you wouldn't be human. Not only that, such people will often suppress and devalue their emotional and emotional needs, but human beings are exactly the type of people who will be extremely anxious, depressed and panic if their emotional and emotional needs are not satisfied. By objectifying yourself, you are successfully entering the one-way street of emotional imbalance, and emotional exhaustion is just around the corner.

Moreover, when we see ourselves as objects for sale, rather than as individuals with unique attributes, our own sense of worth is threatened and shaken. And a person's sense of worth is almost the main source of his satisfaction and happiness. You can imagine how a person can face themselves and live every day if they feel worthless and rubbish. And self-objectification puts us at such risk.

Because the digital value is almost always have not controllable and variability, once you have your own sense of worth and a monetary or material completely equivalent, you will become the stock on the market, can only follow you simply can't figure out how to happen a bull market and bear market jumped up and down, and the psychological gap and emotional impact only you a person to digest.

A little higher income this month, you feel so good about yourself that your tail is up in the air. Next month's income is low, or even the job is not fired, I feel that I am a waste, even relatives and friends are ashamed to see; There are people who, no matter how good the situation is, will shrink their tails all day long because they don't know whether their usefulness to others will fall to the bottom tomorrow. Just in case, they should curl up first. What's more, some people own property to perfection, will in all aspects of their life, using tools, machines, items, their expectations and requirements, in a way that doesn't contain rest she set for herself the study plan of time, as long as a little bit of achievement not think own system out of the bug, want to eliminate all the imperfections of myself, Or the target set "to be the best tool" for himself, is simply to make all the people around you are satisfied with yourself, work hard, family desperately, desperately reflect her is how useful for enterprise, family and society, the best they can light work without rest, serious study how can sleep only four hours a day as fresh as a Daisy's work...

Of course, we have some short-term goals that we have to achieve, and this ability to execute is very commendable. But if this is your long-term goal, or if you find that you have an infinite number of these short-term goals that never end, then you've probably fallen into the trap of self-objectification and become a literal workaholic, or indeed a work addict. In this process, the real needs and desires of your own heart may only be postponed indefinitely, or even disappear in the end, which is the trap of "more effort, more anxiety".

Fundamentally, reduce self materialized, think of yourself as a flesh and blood, emotional need has the advantages, limitations, and quite time is subject to our social and physical conditions, so it is impossible to work like a machine people to look at, is that we took to the body and mind in happy life experience is very important step.

As a tool, at some point in your life, you may of course have the opportunity to pride yourself on being a "successful and useful" tool. But it is only when we see ourselves as human that we can objectively consider what happiness and joy are for us as a person, and how to obtain them. And happiness as a tool, and happiness as a person, I think you can feel, even intuitively, that there is a difference between the two.

Maybe many people will think that I understand the truth of objectification, but what can I do? The environment is like this, many companies are 996 or even 007, I do not work who will give me money? It must be admitted that our environment is indeed quite materialized, and we have to fight for our survival every day, but this does not mean that we have to live completely in the way of tools, and our happiness as human beings is also possible.

Our happiness as people, in particular, is usually not something we have to achieve, function, or become. And the starting point of achieving this happiness is to realize that the tendency of objectification, when applied to ourselves in the long run, is harmful and damaging. When we confront ourselves, we need to reduce self-objectification.

In the back of the course, I will for own property used to more friends, gives several specific practice and response methods, but after today's course, if you have understood the concept at least, you can first look at themselves, let's see how many in his own self physical and chemical composition, and then give yourself a little time every day, Maybe it's half an hour on the subway or five or ten minutes walking home. Let go of your instrumental goals and demands for yourself and see how you feel, what you want to do, or where you are as a person.

You may find something beautiful, or you may feel depressed about your current situation, but either way, when you do this, you stop the harm of self-objectification, even if only briefly, and it has a chance to have a profound impact on your life.