How Does Relationship Coaching Work?

Relationship Coaching has become very popular among couples. The coach assists couples in using the tools they already have to enhance their union. I always use the Phil Jackson (former Coach of Michael Jordan’s Bulls) analogy to describe this.

Phil didn’t teach Michael Jordan how to play basketball. He helped Jordan enhance the tools he already had and helped him see the game differently so he could win. This is exactly what a relationship coach does.

Relationship Coaching can be helpful for couples just starting their relationship or for couples who have been married for 20 years. It can give a couple the tools to communicate better and tighten their bond at any stage.

Working with a coach can help couples work on interactions, intimacy, and conflict resolution. Let’s take a closer look at Relationship Coaching, shall we?

What Does A Relationship Coach Do?

A relationship coach helps couples navigate their feelings and detect problems before they become major issues in the relationship. For instance, the coach helps the couple communicate their needs and desires to each other in an effective way so that they can be understood and acted upon.

Also, a relationship coach focuses on improving the relationship between the couple by dealing with issues revolving around communication and conflict. Certified relationship coaches are taught certain methods that will help to improve romantic relationships and minimize the struggles between a couple.

How To Find A Relationship Coach?

Look for coaches who actually coach couples. Not all coaches are trained to coach couples.

Book a session with the potential coach.

Most coaches offer a free consultation call that will allow the couple and the coach to ascertain if they can work well together.

It may be difficult for you to find the right fit for you and your partner. Before jumping to the conclusion that the coach isn’t working for you, take a deep breath and book at least one call to observe the coach’s coaching style. Ask questions such as

What’s your take on divorce?

Have you worked with couples with similar issues before?

Stick with the coaching

If the coach has met the requirements, stick to the coaching. It doesn’t work in a day, it requires time and effort. Research shows that couples who stick with their coaching show long-term improvements.

What To Expect From Relationship Coaching?

The first few sessions will be devoted to discussing your background and the issues you’re trying to resolve. Be ready to discuss your relationship, your parents, your childhood, and previous relationships when asked about them.

Your coach will probably want to speak with both of you separately for a while. Your coach’s style and systematic approach will determine how your coaching sessions will progress.

How To Make Relationship Coaching Effective?

Coaching is a two-way process. It doesn’t only work because of the skills and expertise of the coach. There has to be a willingness from the couple to work on themselves and the relationship in order for the coaching to have a positive effect.

Here are a couple of keys to getting the maximum benefit from relationship coaching:

Being Honest

Sounds simple. But there’s no benefit in lying to the coach. Your coach’s job is not to judge you but rather to work with you. Being honest might be hard, but anything worthwhile usually requires some difficulty to achieve the desired result.

Prepare Yourself for the Discomfort

Yes, you read it right. Relationship coaching may cause discomfort as the journey of discovering new truths about yourself and your partner may not always be easy.

Working on yourself requires actually putting in the work, sitting with your discomfort, and working on improving those areas. Your coach’s goal is to help you while you and your partner do the work.

Put in the time

Putting in the time and effort is even more important than starting the coaching. Your coach may give you the homework or ask you to inculcate certain techniques to improve interactions between the two of you.

Coaching is a process, and it might take more time and effort than you thought. But, keep in mind, it’s worth it. The goal is to rescue your relationship, and that’s a big deal.

In the end, don’t expect your coach to be some sort of magician who will solve all your issues in a single session. Working on yourself, discovering new truths, and being honest are a few things that can help you in this process.

When To Seek Relationship Coaching?

It may be hard to recognize if you need relationship coaching but if you feel a lack of inclination toward each other, or you talk less, it might be time to see a coach. The relationship needs actual communication.

Communication is 90% of the relationship. If that’s lacking, you might want to look into seeing a coach. There’s also one more thing to look at. If you’re acting passive-aggressive toward each other, Passive aggression isn’t something that’s healthy in a relationship.

If you’re not able to talk to your partner about what’s setting you off, it’s a barrier in your relationship and could be a sign to see a coach. Lastly, if you’ve started to think of leaving as an option, it 100% means that your relationship is in trouble. In this case, seeing a relationship coach is definitely recommended.

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