Novel
Higher Beings
Looking for some brutally honest feedback. I know there is a lot wrong with this, but after three edits I'm not sure how I can improve it further.
Mack DevlinPublished 10 months ago in CritiqueJourneys of the Soul
In the realm of introspection, a poet named Liam embarked on profound journeys of the soul through the canvas of his verses. He delved into the depths of human existence, seeking to capture the essence of personal growth, self-discovery, and the quest for meaning that defined the human experience.
Signor WilsonPublished 10 months ago in CritiqueEntitled
Chapter 1 The Plane Ride Home The girl in the middle seat of the international flight had only turned seventeen four months ago. She was returning home from a study abroad in Tokyo, Japan and was feeling increasingly uncomfortable along with a host of other emotions from happiness to sorrow to extreme exhaustion. The one that was forcing itself to the forefront of her mind was the uncomfortable feeling. She was in the middle seat, stuck between two grown men, neither of whom appeared to speak good English, both of which were drinking heavily.
Vikki HeadPublished 10 months ago in CritiqueBeneath Six Feet - Episode 2
The cold, unforgiving reality of a graveyard weighed heavily on the heart. The air was thick with a melancholic stillness that seemed to permeate the very essence of the place. Beneath a looming canopy of gray clouds, a lone coffin lay poised at the edge of a freshly dug grave, a silent testament to the inevitability of mortality. It was a scene that evoked a poignant blend of emotions, a mixture of grief and contemplation, as those gathered around the grave confronted the fragility of existence.
Rev. Alexander Fenning-SenchereyPublished 10 months ago in CritiqueTo Write or Not to Write?
This was my very first story on Vocal. I wrote it two years ago for the Doomsday Diary challenge and even though it obviously did not place in the challenge, it remains one of my most-read stories. It was published before Vocal made comments on stories possible, so it has no comments on it as of now.
Lana V LynxPublished 10 months ago in CritiqueALIVE
It’s all a lie. Everything you know, or think you know, I need you to throw it out of the window. You have been lied to, very deeply.
Under the Oak Tree (An Inkling of Novel)
Before we get to the critiquing... At this point, this 'prologue' is part of a romantic fiction short story I am hoping to enter into the Vocal Writing Awards. (VWAs). But what I noticed as I planned it, I had the makings of a novel idea.
Alexandria StanwyckPublished 10 months ago in CritiqueGrasshoppers (Work in Progress)
Note: I started this a long time ago and left it in a desk drawer with a plan that remained unfinished. These are only the first seven chapters (I wrote about thirty-three pages), and I would like some feedback on this work. It is based on an actual trip I took with some friends while in Japan, but with a lot of my imagination thrown in. I just wonder if I can take this somewhere...
Kendall DefoePublished 10 months ago in CritiqueUnmitigated Greed
Prologue Zurich, Switzerland Valentine Fuchs sat in his comfortable recliner, immerced in the spectacular view of Lake Zurichsee and the mountains beyond from his fifth-floor den while sipping an expensive cognac. He had just finished watching a 60 Minutes piece on the supply chain debacle happening in the U.S. He was very familiar with how difficult it had become to move products from location to location. Distribution was more complicated for his businesses because what they had to transport was all contraband. Drugs, knock-off designer items, and even oil from embargoed countries like Iran and Russia, needed to go from producer to end user.
Mark GagnonPublished 10 months ago in Critique