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Inconsequential Woman

Poetry WIP

By Teresa RentonPublished 11 months ago Updated 10 months ago 1 min read
Top Story - August 2023
Inconsequential Woman
Photo by Velizar Ivanov on Unsplash

I am an inconsequential woman. I lurk in the shadows,

a note flung in your trash,

alien scent on your shirt,

trophy lace in the back of your drawer.

The darkest places feel the safest,

but unpalatable

like the stench

of compost in the garden,

or the taste of adultery

in fingernails.

My silence lives in these scissions

whilst dressing for dinner. ‘Yes darling’

I drape my faceted self,

a glitterball clad in Dior,

around his slick, suited arm;

not like the arm I touched before,

bare skin moist with sweat as it lifted me closer—

your arm,

now also polished in dinner-suited propriety,

offering itself to a wife.

She also said ‘Yes darling.'

Maybe she was

inconsequential too?

StructurePoetryFeedback Requested

About the Creator

Teresa Renton

Inhaling life, exhaling stories, poetry, prose, flash or fusions. An imperfect perfectionist who writes and recycles words. I write because I love how it feels to make ink patterns & form words, like pictures, on a page.

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Comments (11)

  • Rachael MacDonald10 months ago

    this poem felt like liquid honey. very well done :)

  • Naveed Ahmed Syed10 months ago

    You shine brilliantly, casting light even in the shadows of life's complexities.

  • Marilyn Glover10 months ago

    Oooooh! Personally relatable and just so damn good! 🔥 👏

  • Brenda Mahler10 months ago

    Touched a nerve for me. Strong smooth progression through a slow movement.

  • ANFAS10 months ago

    nice

  • Kelly Khoo10 months ago

    Powerful words unveiling hidden emotions. 🌑

  • Hannah Moore11 months ago

    This is quite sumptuous, gorgeously written. My critique would be that there is a point of echo - maybe she also said yes dear- but "yes dear" was "yes darling" before. Which left me confused as to the "also" and so paused my glow reading. But then darling is also more sensuous than the matronly dear, so perhaps this was a deliberate choice.

  • Tiffany Gordon 11 months ago

    Fabulous work! I especially loved the sassy final stanza! Congrats on your Top Story!!!!

  • Babs Iverson11 months ago

    Caminum gave. Some critique feedback. Wanted you to know that I left a ♥

  • KJ Aartila11 months ago

    I don't have much to add here - I like the involvement of so many senses to draw the reader in - maybe play that up more - but I really like the message at the end - it's powerful. 💕

  • Carminum11 months ago

    I like your attention to (sensuous) detail – especially when it is suggestive, as in the case of the fingernails. This helps render your theme concrete and sustain an atmosphere. The moodscape I entered through your words was a mix of sadness and sensuality, tinged with mystery. You mention shadows three times; I think using a variety of metaphors here would be more expressive. Leaving only a word or two on a line lends those words extra weight or impact, focuses the reader’s attention. When enjambment is used extensively – as happens in a lot of poems – that stylistic effect risks suffering some inflation. So I wonder if some of the isolated words (e.g., the concluding ones) had more impact with less line-breaks overall.

Teresa RentonWritten by Teresa Renton

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