Inconsequential Woman
Poetry WIP
I am an inconsequential woman. I lurk in the shadows,
a note flung in your trash,
alien scent on your shirt,
trophy lace in the back of your drawer.
The darkest places feel the safest,
but unpalatable
like the stench
of compost in the garden,
or the taste of adultery
in fingernails.
My silence lives in these scissions
whilst dressing for dinner. ‘Yes darling’
I drape my faceted self,
a glitterball clad in Dior,
around his slick, suited arm;
not like the arm I touched before,
bare skin moist with sweat as it lifted me closer—
your arm,
now also polished in dinner-suited propriety,
offering itself to a wife.
She also said ‘Yes darling.'
Maybe she was
inconsequential too?
About the Creator
Teresa Renton
Inhaling life, exhaling stories, poetry, prose, flash or fusions. An imperfect perfectionist who writes and recycles words. I write because I love how it feels to make ink patterns & form words, like pictures, on a page.
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More stories from Teresa Renton and writers in Critique and other communities.
When We Were Very Young
In another box set that my parents got me when I was younger contained four books by A.A. Milne. 'When We Were Very Young' is a collection of poems that Milne wrote for his son Christopher Robin. This is a book that is full of references to Mr. Edward Bear, but a lot of the poems give some various descriptions of life of a very young child and where, when, how and why they do what they do. The illustrations are quite cute for you can see what Christopher Robin is and may be thinking. Also, Pooh Bear does make his self-known at various points. I have read these verses many, many times over the years and each time make me feel good about myself.
By Mark Graham7 days ago in Critique
"Blessed Morning"
It was a serene morning, the kind that made you feel grateful to be alive. The sun was slowly rising, casting a warm glow over the world. The birds were singing their sweet melodies, and a gentle breeze carried the scent of fresh flowers through the air.
By Isra Saleem7 days ago in Critique
Comments (11)
this poem felt like liquid honey. very well done :)
You shine brilliantly, casting light even in the shadows of life's complexities.
Oooooh! Personally relatable and just so damn good! 🔥 👏
Touched a nerve for me. Strong smooth progression through a slow movement.
nice
Powerful words unveiling hidden emotions. 🌑
This is quite sumptuous, gorgeously written. My critique would be that there is a point of echo - maybe she also said yes dear- but "yes dear" was "yes darling" before. Which left me confused as to the "also" and so paused my glow reading. But then darling is also more sensuous than the matronly dear, so perhaps this was a deliberate choice.
Fabulous work! I especially loved the sassy final stanza! Congrats on your Top Story!!!!
Caminum gave. Some critique feedback. Wanted you to know that I left a ♥
I don't have much to add here - I like the involvement of so many senses to draw the reader in - maybe play that up more - but I really like the message at the end - it's powerful. 💕
I like your attention to (sensuous) detail – especially when it is suggestive, as in the case of the fingernails. This helps render your theme concrete and sustain an atmosphere. The moodscape I entered through your words was a mix of sadness and sensuality, tinged with mystery. You mention shadows three times; I think using a variety of metaphors here would be more expressive. Leaving only a word or two on a line lends those words extra weight or impact, focuses the reader’s attention. When enjambment is used extensively – as happens in a lot of poems – that stylistic effect risks suffering some inflation. So I wonder if some of the isolated words (e.g., the concluding ones) had more impact with less line-breaks overall.