The Peruvian Long Con

One thing I learned about American and European expats in South America is they’re usually criminals, perverts or a combination of both.

This story begins at Jorge Chavez Airport in Lima, Peru. November 2020. I had flown in from Miami that evening and coincidentally met a short, stocky individual by the name of Randy.

I was there to do some sightseeing and get away from US Covid related hysteria that had turned political during election season. I actually didn’t know who had even won the US presidential election until months after it took place.

Randy and I began to hang out shortly after I got to Lima. Since I travel alone, it was cool to have someone around that I could talk to if I was bored.

At first, when I asked what he did for money, he told me he was a surgeon for Doctors Without Borders and retired US Army medic, proudly showing me his stethoscope and Army tattoos.

He explained his US Army pension was $800 a month which was enough to live a decent life in a country like Peru.

I questioned how he was only 33 years old and had honorably discharged AND completed a medical degree in such a short time. He quickly came back with a semi-believable lie about how he had graduated HS early, got college credits while serving and showed me a photoshopped Johns Hopkins diploma.

He lied so much that it was an artform to him. He was a master at it.

We would go out to party some nights and he wasn’t shy about spending a lot, tipping graciously and we had a few good times together.

We would play online blackjack and I would watch in awe as he was able to accurately count cards on an 8 deck shoe. There’s probably only like 100 people in the world intelligent enough to do that.

He spoke fluent Spanish and introduced me to a solid network of friends he had made in Lima.

I figured, yea he’s definitely a liar, but he doesn’t seem to be a dick.

As the weeks went on, I informed him that I was gonna head out to Cuzco soon and then return to the States afterwards.

He seemed agitated but played it off and wished me luck. Before I left, he called me and told me he was selling one of his 3 condos and asked if I wanted to buy it for cheap.

I trusted him financially at that time, because he was extremely intelligent. While I had my doubts about him as a person, I didn’t think he was desperate for money because of the aforementioned experiences I had with him.

I looked into Peruvian real estate laws and tourists were not permitted to purchase condos without an investment visa or residency. He told me I can make the purchase and the purchase would grant me residency.

For some odd reason, I believed him until he asked for $5,000 for the condo. I laughed and said no thanks.

As I was leaving Lima a few weeks later, he contacted me again to ask if I was interested in selling any of my crypto to him at a 30% markup on the current price. I asked why he would do that when he could just buy it himself. He explained it wasn’t for him, he was just brokering a deal with a friend of his who wanted to purchase with USD but didn’t have a way to buy it as exchanges were banned in Peru.

I said sure, I’ll give you $2000 BTC and you give me $2600 cash? He said yes, and sure enough he gave me the $2600 cash and all was well. He told me that I could continue selling crypto to him at a 30% mark up and that I could make unlimited money if I stayed in Lima.

The real estate scam didn’t work, but this seemed like it was legit to me at the time. He then told me he was going to be traveling to Argentina with his wife in January 2021, and that I could live in his condo for the month for free since he wouldn’t he using it.

Seemed like a good deal, so I said sure. As I was bringing my bags into the condo on 12/31, I had to leave them in the condo while I went back downstairs to get the rest of my bags, I made 3 trips total.

Each time I went downstairs, he rifled through the bags and took everything worth anything. My passport, all my credit and debit cards, $600 cash.

When I got back upstairs the 3rd time, him and his wife had left without saying goodbye. I didn’t notice until over an hour later that everything had been stolen. I called him, phone disconnected. Never saw him or heard from him again.

Luckily I had my phone in my pocket so I frantically deactivated all of my cards, but without them or my passport I had absolutely no way to get any cash.

Luckily for me, I was able to get to the embassy as a friend sent me money via PayPal and I was able to use PayPal to get an Uber to the US Embassy and report the passport missing.

Turns out US Passports are worth $10k+ in Peru. Also turns out that my buddy Randy was wanted by the US Marshals for various fraud, embezzlement and larceny charges.

I had no access to cash for 10 days while I waited for my new passport. My meals consisted of boiled water and the small amounts of left over pasta and rice that Randy had graciously left behind. I had never starved like that before, I started googling ways to eat bugs. I asked maybe 500 random delis, restaurants and people on the street if they knew what PayPal was. No dice.

Finally, after 10 days of famine I got my passport and was able to get money again. I have an unbelievable respect now for people with no access to food.

In hindsight, it was quite a humbling experience. All I lost was the $600 cash and the $140 for the new passport. I’ll pay that for a learning experience.

Oh yea and he didn’t own the condo either, the next day the landlord came by and asked for $150 for rent. He asked where “Allen” was, I told him I knew him as “Randy”.