PLAYING THE HAND I WAS DEALT, WITH ALL ODDS AGAINST ME

Lifeś is a gamble! Playing at your own risk, sometimes you have to lose to win. But what if you are running a race with no finish line? What if the day you took that first breath you had already lost without even playing? What if you were born with no chance of success, prosperity, salvation, a future, and or a solid foundation to start life from? We all go through our own things in life. I like to think it will all pay off. With a change in luck, in life, success, and, or the near future of abundance and salvation.

However, you can't expect change without you making the change. If you always do, what you have always done. you will always get what you have always got. Start with yourself, your surroundings, your priorities, the people you hang out with, the goals for your future, and the goals you set for yourself ten years from now.

I know from experience it is so much easier said than done. But remember, we can never stop learning, and each situation that has no positive impact on our life is a lesson learned in the long run! For those who wish we had our parents to fight with about some dumb dance or boyfriend at school, change is here, change, is now! Don´t get me wrong, though, with every situation there is always gonna be somebody who has it worse. It comes with the territory of being the child of convicted felons.

Genetically you don't stand a chance in life for drugs and the trouble that comes with them. I am not your average lady or was I ever an average girl. I grew up doomed to be a screw-up. I am attempting to change the cycle for the generations to come with my mom’s and dad’s bloodline. Although both parents have changed their lives separately for the better I am already all grown up.

My mother has been clean and sober for 15+ years and far from Chowchilla State prison As well as my dad. Growing up with them in and out, apart and without stability. Life is not easy. I am blessed regardless. For every breath, I take in another unpromised day. You learn something new every day in a random way.

I have been somewhat of a troublemaker and used to be full of anger and rage. Fighting when I was in grade school. Brilliant girl, if I just stayed outta trouble I would have made the honor roll till I graduated. I did the exact opposite. I have 3 kids now and I am currently working on my bachelor’s in Business Management. I got my G.E.D in ¨2019¨ & My Associate´s Degree in Business Management in 2020. Took the high school exit exam at 15 however, I was too young for it to count. So when I got my GED I didn't even have to study after years I still kept my knowledge.

Knowledge is just as measurable as time, wisdom, love, regret, and so many other things that you can only play for keeps with. Time is irreplaceable. Knowledge is only gained. Memories are never forgotten. Dreams are your vision. Understanding gains wisdom…..(my favorite quote) Nikki Minaj Said¨ To live, doesn't mean you're alive!¨ You may hear me but are you listening? The struggle is real, Love is pain. Peace is happiness. I think, I thought, I remembered, what I forgot. I am supposed to Remember why I am giving this scholarship essay a shot…. I am the daughter of two convicted felons, both the black sheep of their families, sober now, and they got it together. Now is better than later.

For once to catch a break in life, I am still happy with my life as it stands with a late start, I will keep setting goals furthering my education Until I am completely satisfied with my success. With my vision pursued.

It is now 2021 I have got my bachelor's degree now working on classes for graduate professional learning. Originally I wrote for a scholarship essay I honestly don't think I turned it in. I have made many changes from within and I am continuing to make self-improvements. I started this back in 2019 before COVID19 made its way into my life. Since then COVID19 has robbed me. All odds were against me already so imagine now. It robbed me of in-person education, both my graduations only time I have ever graduated in my life not just one but both graduations robbed. The only person in my life who loved me unconditionally COVID19 also took from me.

As I mentioned earlier the only person in my life I wanted at my graduation is now passed on. It hurts me deeply but COVID19 didn't stop there it took my other uncle who was also a pastor. My grandfather died as well at the beginning of 2020. I have still pulled through. Many other lives have been stolen too young in a random way. I would like to write this for the people out there who have struggled a lot more than most there is still hope.

I have put together a business plan and a project plan to save those who can not get jobs and are stuck and literally incapable of moving forward due to past mistakes including multigenerational mistakes and have been forced to play the hand they were dealt with little and no success or a real shot in life. I am almost there. I am as real as they come, my success will speak for itself if it hasn't yet. It will be within due time.

In memory of :

Domingo Ortega Love u grandpa

Domingo Ortega Jr. You were

Armondo Ortega

Robert Ruiz (Feo)