Losing the love of my life !

Have you ever been so in love ,that everything is perfect and bang it hits you right in the face ? Your life is completely torn apart in a split second. It happened to me ! This is my story...

This is my first time writing a story , especially mine. I hope you enjoy !

In February 2015 , I remember like it was yesterday. I was working as a cashier in a grocery store and this cute, short guy was working in an other department of the store. We started talking and it clicked right away. Things were perfect , we were so in love , like two love birds. Long story short for this part but we ended up getting engaged on June 23th 2016. I got pregnant with a surprise baby in February 2017 , 5 months before the wedding , the pregnancy wasn't planned , we wanted to wait after the wedding but hey i guess he was due to come into our lives at that moment. July 8th 2017, we finally got married and announced to our friends and family that we were expecting a little boy. We were so happy and filled with joy. Even thought getting married and having a newborn months apart in the same year was scary , but we were strong and ready , so I taught. October 19th 2017,I gave birth to our beautiful son Alexis. For a first time mom my birth experience wasn't the best. I had an emergency c-section , my husband wasn't allowed to be with me in the room , I couldn't hold my baby right away , it was awful ! My husband at the time was supposed to take time off work to help me with our new born ( he was working for his dad ). We brought Alexis home on a Saturday and on the Monday my husband was back at work. I just had a C-section , i could barely walk or do anything. From day one I was alone at home with the baby which didn't bother me at first but after that things started to get rough. my maternity leave experience was terrible , I was home alone all the time. My husband worked 6 days a week , I barely took fresh air. I didn't have my drivers license at the time so I was literally stuck in the house. My husband's friends were always over , he barely helped with the baby at all. I think he wasn't ready for that big step of marriage and having a newborn.

Now this is where the story gets heated ! I have so much to write I don't know where to start...

October 1th 2018 was my first day back at work after a long year at home with my son that I love very much by the way. I was happy to finally see people and get back to a normal routine. A few weeks pass and then my boss comes up to me and asks me to try and get close to some other employee that works in my department because they suspected him of selling narcotics at work. Since I was working for them for many years now they trusted me more then anyone else. I agreed and that was a big mistake on my part. One night my husband told me to go out with my friend and have some off time from mommy duties. So my best friend and I drove around the city and i noticed this guy walking with his dog in the street. I realized it was the guy from my work , I immediately told my best friend to stop the car. I decided to hang out with him a little bit just to get closer to the truth about selling drugs at work. Only friendly nothing more ! We talked a little , hung out and eventually he asked my best friend and I to come to his place because it was freezing outside. I was a little hesitant but we agreed. Not knowing what was coming for me we enter his creepy apartment and sat on his couch. A few moments later (let's say his name is Ryan)Ryan askes me to come in his room to talk privately. That's where the horror started. Ryan found out by I don't know who or how , but he found out that I was helping the bosses. From that night on my hole dignity was gone. When I tried to explain myself he turned around and opened his drawer and pulled a gun on me , pointing at my head. The hole time we were in the room, we were whispering because the apartment wasn't very big. My best friend was right in the other room. After pulling the gun on me, he told me I had to do everything he says or else he would hurt my family. I did everything in my power to protect my husband and my child. He raped me , abused me and so much more . He wanted me to pretend to my husband that I was cheating on him. I was so scared, i didn't say anything to anyone until a few weeks ago. I know a lot of people a probably thinking why didn't you say something to your husband or call the police. I WAS SCARED... Sometimes i would have to go to his place before work so he can rape me and then i would go to work and he would come in a few hours later. Ryan wanted payback and he got it !

January 2019, my husband went looking thru my phone and found messages with Ryan(he was meant to find these messages). He pulled me out of bed crying asking me all types of questions. I had to tell my husband , the love of my life that I was cheating on him by Ryan's request. In the past I had infidelity problems, but never I would've cheated on my husband . My husband was destroyed , sad , really mad. Still asking me questions , I had to answer him as if I was cheating , which I knew deep down that wasn't the case. We talked it out and everything seemed fine, I thought.

May 2019, the month where my life took a turn for the worst. My husband , My best friend , My world left me. I found it pretty odd since the week before I was the women of his dreams. He came home one night , sat on the couch and said these exact same words " I can't do this anymore , you cheated on me and I can't except it, it's over ". I found out a few days later that he was texting some other girl which I knew. Our separation was hard , we fought a lot , it was terrible. I had to start all over again. I went into a big depression, tried to commit suicide a few times. My life was over.

Year 2020, was very hard. I was missing him everyday , crying , blaming myself for everything. I lost my soulmate , my one true love. The love of my life is in the arms of some other women, all because he thinks I cheated on him. Since our split he came back to me twice but never for good , always went running back to her. The last time he came back to me he announced that his girlfriend was pregnant. I burst into tears , I said to my self I lost him for good , he's gone.

2021, till this day I still really miss him. I finally told him the truth a few weeks ago but of course he doesn't believe me and I understand. My days are still dark , I still cry over him. We barely talk , I had to go thru his girlfriend for our son because she doesn't trust us. He's living his live with an other women that now they have a baby together.. It really breaks my heart. Im lucky that I have our son he's the reason I get up in the morning I love him so much.

Thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed , of course this is a short version of the story . I hope I did good.

Ashley