In Sickness

In Sickness

Time seemed to pause for a few seconds and then resume. A few seconds lost. Minutes maybe. The noise, the nurses and techs stopped… then resumed whizzing by her. Mideah stood in the middle of the emergency department stunned and numb. She could see patient’s lips moving, babies crying but everything was quiet. The only thing that echoed in her ear was the doctor’s words “I’m sorry, but he’s gone...”.

Mideah had called 911. They had worked on her husband Jai, from the house, all the way to the hospital. She waited what seemed like an eternity. Then the doctor came in to tell her that the love of her life was gone. Dead. No longer with the living. She couldn’t recall anything after that. She became mechanical as her thoughts and emotions threatened to consume her.

After seeing her husband with tubes and probes all over him she had to leave the room. It was too surreal. Her legs felt weak. She walked quickly outside the room and stood still. Her petite frame remained erect. Her posture unwavering. It was the only way she wouldn’t lose her legs from under her.

On the outside she looked calm, but inside, she was having a panic attack. She was like that. She could be having a complete meltdown, and no one would even know it. Her emotions were only shown to a select few. And there wasn’t many. One of them, her most cherished, was her husband. But he lay dead in the room behind her.

They brought her papers. On autopilot, she signed the papers, nodded her head and pretended to listen until the doctor’s lips stopped moving. Her thoughts and emotions were swirling all around. Rushing in on her all at once. She had to get a grip, or she’d lose it. She didn’t know what to feel. She didn’t know how to act. Not even know what to say. So, she said the only thing that came to mind.

“Thank you, doctor.” Mideah turned around, forgetting her reason for standing still, she began to walk away. But the room had suddenly gone sideways and she found herself falling as multiple hands grabbed hold of her. Then everything went black.

Mideah had awakened to someone calling her name and talking to her. Something was squeezing her arm.

“Ok, Mrs. Knight. Wake up now. I’m just checking you’re blood pressure. But you’ll be just fine, yes you will. Besides, you don’t want to spend the night in here. Uh-uh, no you don’t. Got to go home. Yes, yes. Eventually things will run its course. Yes, it will. It always does. Uh huh, it always does. See now that’s a good blood pressure. Yes, yes.” The nurse’s ramble continued as she removed the cuff from around Mideah’s arm.

Mideah opened her eyes and found herself laying down. Her surprise caused her to sit up too quickly and a small dizzy spell forced her to lean back on her elbows

“Whoa, whoa now, Mrs. Knight. Don’t go falling out this gurney on me. You do want to go home, don’t you?” The heavy set, grey-haired nurse asked as she gently coerced Mideah back down.

“Give yourself a few minutes, Miss lady. Today is not a normal day. So, you don’t have to be normal today.” She patted Mideah’s hand in a motherly manner. “Let’s get you some water and crackers and we’ll see how things go from there. Ok?”

Before Mideah could answer her, she was off and out of the room. Mideah sat up slowly and squeezed her eyes shut to prevent another dizzy spell. The room looked cold and lonely. It had various metal trays that held medical supplies with machines mounted against the wall. Each room divided by drapes.

Mideah wondered where they had put her husband. She turned to look at the neighboring rooms to see if they had placed her next door to where they worked on him. But she couldn’t really see anything. All she could hear was a mom trying to console her cranky baby and a nurse trying to give instructions over the crying. She needed to leave. There was no reason for her to be there now. No one to be there for.

Jai was dead. The love of her life, her darling husband and best friend. Who was supposed to be her first and last. He promised they’d have children together, watch them grow as they grew old together. He had promised so much. But those promises were never meant to be. He was gone. And Mideah wondered what was going to happen now.

She was 32 years old. Her life was dedicated to Jai’s. No kids and no career. Jai was the bread winner. The corporate lawyer who provided for her every single want. They had planned to start trying to have a baby this year. She had waited so long. Waited until he finished law school, waited until he got that job, then waited after his career was “settled”. After 8 years with schooling, the bar exam, late nights, early mornings and multiple lonely days and nights at home by herself, Jai had made junior partner in a very prestigious firm. It was supposed to be her time now. Her time to have babies, and even look into her giving music lessons or opening a music school. It was obvious there was going to be a deviation in those plans. A light knock came at the door.

“Mrs. Knight, is this a good time.” A gruff voice said from the doorway. In walked a thin but round-bellied man with a dull grey suit and white buttoned-down shirt and a badge clipped onto his tie followed by a tall, stern-faced woman with an almost matching grey suit.

“I’m detective Sinclair. This is detective Fletcher.”

“Detectives?” Mideah asked.

“Yes, I’m sorry about your husband Mrs. Knight. And I’m sorry I have to do this now. But we didn’t have time to speak at the house, understandably of course. You were needed here. But uh, we have some routine questions we need to ask you.”

His partner remained silent as he continued. “Cases like this, well uh, we’re usually called in to make sure everyone knows what happened.”

“Cases like this?” She repeated. Mideah looked puzzled.

He sighed heavily. “Yeah, well, do you mind coming down to the station with us?”

“Now?”

“Yeah tonight. Again, this is just routine stuff. Its good to get the information while it’s fresh.”

Mideah had hoped the night was over. It obviously wasn’t. Somehow Mideah didn’t think he was really asking. She was being summoned. This was probably routine to him. Another dead husband and his wife. But it was definitely not routine to her. She was going to the police station to answer questions about her husband’s death. Can things be any less routine?

“I don’t understand.” She asked puzzled. “What kind of questions. My husband died from a delayed allergic reaction to peanuts.”

“Yes, we spoke with the doctors.” He responded. “We just had some questions we needed to clear up. Once we get that squared out of the way you can go.”

“Very well then.” Mideah got down off the gurney. She could feel both their eyes on her. She scanned the room, looking for her purse. Detective Fletcher must have read her mind because she handed it to Mideah without a word.

“Thanks.” Mideah took a quick look inside. “I just realized I don’t have my car. I rode here in the ambulance with J-.” She felt a lump form in her throat. Prim and proper, Mideah instinctly began to smooth out her dress and ponytail but then stopped. What was the point? She had always made sure she was put together. Mostly for Jai. But now, what did it matter?

“That’s fine.” Detective Sinclair replied. “You can ride with us. And then we can drop you home.”

“Oh, o-ok” Mideah clutched her purse as they headed to the door with one detective in front and the other behind her. Out in the hall her nurse approached her.

“Hey, there miss lady, you feeling ok? Don’t let these goons scare yah.” Winking and then giving the detectives a stern look. They stared back unmoved.

“Yes… I mean… thank you.” Mideah replied.

“Ok, well take these with you just in case.” The nurse gave her a red Jell-o container, a mini can of sprite and three packets of saltine crackers. “And I am so, so sorry for your loss my dear. You take care of yourself, ok?” She hugged Mideah tightly for just a few brief seconds and was gone before any more words were exchanged.

“Shall we.” Detective Sinclair said extending his arm. Fletcher’s eyes stayed on her every move and gesture. Mideah felt vulnerable. She placed the snacks in her purse and followed them into the elevator, out to the hospital parking lot, and into a navy blue unmarked police car. The smell of stale coffee and cologne hit her as she entered the back seat and buckled herself in. Other than the smell it was pretty clean considering. She watched as they got in the car. Sinclair’s eyes checked in on her periodically as he pulled out of the hospital lot and onto the busy street.

“How long do you think this is going to take?” Mideah’s patience was wearing thin. “I’m tired and would like to get home. I don’t understand why this can’t wait?”

“Like detective Sinclair said Ma’am,” Fletcher responded, her eyes inspecting the roads and streets. “this is routine. We need to get the info when its fresh in your mind.” Mideah was surprised she had actually said something. She’s been mute this whole time.

“He died of an allergic reaction. That’s it and that’s all. There’s nothing more to the story.”

“Bear with us, please Mrs. Knight.” Sinclair pleaded. “We’ll get you home as soon as we can.

“This has all been such a shock. I still can’t believe that he’s gone.”

“How long were you two married?”

“8 years. But we’ve been…I mean we were together since our junior year in high school.”

“High school sweethearts then?”

“We were complete opposites, but we were soulmates.” Mideah’s voice was low and somber. “Is it ok if we just sit here for a while?” A sudden wave of exhaustion hit her. “I’m feeling a bit tired. I don’t know how much use I’ll be to you.”

“We’ll get you home soon. This is all a matter of course.” He said to her glancing at her from the rearview mirror. “Shouldn’t be too long.”

It didn’t take long to get to the police station. Mideah welcomed the silence during their short trip. She followed them through the metal detectors, down a long narrow hallway and into one of their interrogation rooms.

The room was small. The walls were bear except for the observation mirror. It was furnished only with a desk and three chairs. Fletcher had gone in a different direction. It was just her and Sinclair now. He closed the door behind them. With the door closed it shut out the noise of the station. He directed her to sit down on the chair that faced the observation mirror.

“Would you like something to drink? Eat?” Pointing his thumb towards the door. “I can get you a sandwich, some water, coffee maybe.”

“I still have some Jell-O and crackers,” Mideah raised her purse. “Thanks, but no thanks.” She then placed it on the back of the chair. “I would rather just get this over with if you don’t mind.”

“Ok, Ok, let me just get my partner, and a pad and pen. Sit tight.” He cut his grin short when he saw she had looked away.

She tried to fine her balance as the chair rocked back and forth. The room gave her a chill. Mideah wrapped her arms around herself and looked around the small room. She wondered how many murderers, rapist and pedophiles sat where she was. She shook her head. She shouldn’t be here. Her morbid thoughts weren’t helping. She tried focusing on something else. This day had her out of her element. She didn’t know how she would get through it, but she knew she had no choice.

Mideah looked up at her reflection. Her sleek ponytail wasn’t so sleek anymore. Her light brown skin was bare as all her makeup had washed away from her panicked tears. Her blue floral dress was wrinkled. Looking at it reminded her of Jai. This was one of his favorites. Her eyes were sullen and reddened. She didn’t recognize herself. Who was she to be now?

Mideah looked down at her hands and played with her large diamond studded wedding ring. How did things get here? Is this what destiny had in store? She would never see his smile, never feel his touch. She would no longer be able to share anything with him. Her life as she knew it was forever changed.

Jai and Mideah had met during the beginning of their junior year when the whole basketball team was forced by their coach to sign up for tutoring. Mideah was his tutor. Jai Raymond Knight was the head of the basketball team, cocky, talented and one of the most popular boys in her high school. Mideah, on the other hand, was a bookworm, super smart and headstrong, she had dreams of becoming a musician. Mideah didn’t sign up to be a tutor because she was boy crazy. Unlike some of the other female tutors, she had signed up to be a tutor for extra credit. Her plan was to finish high school one semester early.

At first Jai irritated her. To her he was another dumb jock with no priorities except sports. Especially when she could barely get him off his phone or to stop his winking or blowing kisses to random giggling chicks who would pass by. He was obnoxious and full of himself. But then she started to see that he was also very smart and had ambition. He wanted to be a lawyer and was going to use basketball to get him there. This impressed Mideah and her view of him began to change.

Over the course of the year, they grew closer and despite the warnings from her friends that she might get hurt or even the jealous threats from select girls, Jai became her everything. He was her first boyfriend. He was pretty much her first everything. She had never felt this way about a boy. And couldn’t get enough of him. He made her feel special and cherished. Mideah blossomed under his love. Her self-confidence grew, and she came out of her shell. All because of Jai.

He was handsome. Tall and red-boned with brown freckles, wavy jet-black hair, long lashes that enclosed sultry brown eyes and a winning smile, she never had a chance. To her, he was the perfect package.

So, when her scholarship for the prestigious Manhattan School of Music was going to send her thousands of miles away from the love of her life, Mideah had opted out and decided to follow her heart instead to UCLA where she was able to study music. Everyone told her how stupid it was. To think of her future. But what they didn’t understand was that Jai was her future.

She couldn’t remember when she was happier. Nothing or no one could tear them apart. Jai had become the man she always needed. Dependable, caring, loving. And Mideah, in turn, was the woman he needed her to be. It was the two of them against the world. They married their senior year in college. He couldn’t afford an engagement ring right then, but he was able to make up for it later.

They got a small studio apartment just off campus. They didn’t have much. But they did have plans. With Mideah’s meticulous budgeting and planning skills, they were able to get through those first couple of years better than expected. They were building a future together, an empire as Jai had said it. They planned to become the power couple. But plans change.

Both detective Sinclair and Fletcher stepped into the interrogation room. Bringing Mideah back to the present.

“Sorry about the wait. Had to report in and do a few things.” Sinclair explained. He sat down in the chair behind the desk and Fletcher sat across from her. Boxing her in. Mideah wasn’t amused at the good cop/bad cop angle they’ve been playing since they came to see her. She was beginning to get irritated.

“Hello. Its fine.” She really hadn’t known how much time she’d spent in there since she had fallen into her thoughts. Time moved differently somehow.

“Is there anything that I could get you, Mrs. Knight?” Sinclair asked again.

“No,” Mideah responded with slight irritation. “like I said, I’m just ready to get this over with.”

“I understand.” He clicked his pen and began writing. “Ok, so don’t be nervous or anything. This is just routine questions.”

“Why would I be nervous?”

“Ok then, why don’t we start with what you did today. I think that’s a good place to start, don’t you?”

Fletcher, who’s eyes never left Mideah, nodded in agreement.

“The entire day?”

“Yeah, the entire day.”

“Ok, well, I got up and ran some errands. Then-“

“What kind of errands?” He interrupted.

“Gym, cleaners, groceries. You know, stuff like that. Then I got a mani/pedi.-“

“I’m sorry a what?”

Rolling her eyes at his ignorance she clarified with a huff. “Manicure and pedicure and then I went home. Started cooking dinner.”

“What did you cook for dinner?”

“A roast, some mashed potatoes and string beans.”

“That sound delicious, you must be a good cook. Is that it?”

“We also had a sweet potato casserole I saved for dessert. And some wine. That’s it. like I told the doctors earlier, Jai and I was having dinner. He was fine when- “

“Where there nuts in the meal Mrs. Knight?” Detective Fletcher interjected.

“No,” Mideah replied sternly. “Why would there be nuts in the food. He’s allergic. What is this?” Mideah was getting annoyed with the line of questions and Fletcher was working her nerve.

“Just doing our job Mrs. Knight.” Sinclair responded in defense.

“Did anyone help you make the food? Was it a special occasion, or something?” Fletcher asked leaning forward in her chair to show interest. “Anniversary, birthday?”

“No, nothing like that. And I don’t need help feeding my husband. We don’t have a cook. If that’s what you mean.” Mideah responded. “He had been working hard on a deal for months and was very tense about it. I thought cooking his favorites would help him relax. He deserved it.”

“You guys sound like the ideal couple.” Fletcher’s tone was slightly mocking.

“You make us sound so cynical, or something. This was who we were, detectives. I had no problem catering to my husband. Our marriage was solid. There were all the right ingredients. Love, devotion and trust.”

“So, you guys didn’t argue?” Fletcher asked.

“Of course, we argued.” Mideah sighed harshly. “Every couple argues.”

“Yes, they do.” Sinclair continued writing in his note pad. “I’m sorry if this is upsetting you.”

“I’m sorry too. Its been a long evening. I- I guess I’m still in shock over it all. I’ve been replaying the whole event since it happened. If there was anything else I could add I would.”

“Ok, lets see if we can wrap this up and get you home.”

“Thanks. There’s not much more really.”

“Doctors said that this wasn’t his first trip to the ER. That a few weeks back he had a similar attack. Can you tell us about that?”

“Oh yes, he did” Mideah responded, puzzled. “but what does that have to do with now?”

“He had an allergic reaction 2 weeks ago. Don’t you think that’s odd that he would be exposed twice in a month’s span.”

“He had a delayed reaction. Its common and its happened before.”

“Where was he when he got the first reaction?”

“We were at a company event. We assumed he got it from one of the dishes there. We didn’t know really. There was a lot of food and it was buffet style.”

“Oh, yeah.” Sinclair said with a look of disgust. “That’s why I don’t do buffets. People act like they don’t have any home training. Everyone’s grubby hands in everything. Uh uh. No thanks.”

“So, you think this reaction was delayed from weeks ago.” Fletcher asked.

“I don’t know. I’m not a doctor.” Mideah was now beyond irritated. “I don’t know what you’re insinuating but this was just a horrible accident. There’s nothing sordid here.”

Mideah was done answering questions. These detectives where digging where they didn’t need to dig. She folded her arms and leaned back in her chair. “I’m ready to go home now.”

“Again, we didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I am upset.” Mideah said sternly. “My husband just died and I’m here instead of mourning him as I should be. I’m scared, I’m confused. I just lost the man I love, my best friend, the person who has loved me for over a decade. He’s gone. Don’t you understand that. He’s gone” Mideah’s voice was now raised. Her emotions were unraveling, and she was trying her best to control them.

“We’re just trying to figure out what happened to your husband that’s all.” Fletcher replied.

“Let’s try and finish up.” Sinclair added. “Won’t be too long now.”

“I don’t know what else you want me to tell you. He came home. We sat down and had dinner. Things were going as usual and then he started clearing his throat and then wheezing and…and- “Mideah rubbed her hand over her face. “I called 911 and they came and now where here.”

“Ok, Mrs. Knight.” Sinclair said as he wrote a few more things down on his pad.

“One more question, Mrs. Knight” detective Fletcher looked her straight in the eye. “Did you poison your husband?”

“No detective Fletcher,” Mideah responded slowly and tight-lipped. “I did not kill my husband. I loved my husband!”

Mideah stood up, pushing the chair back with her legs. “You don’t know what it’s like to have someone you love ripped from you.” Mideah broke down in tears as she leaned back against the wall with her head down. “I loved him damn it.”

Fletcher calmly stood up and gestured Mideah back into the chair.

“Please, Mrs. Knight.” Sinclair pleaded. “You’re right, we can only imagine but please have a seat.” Mideah slowly sat back down.

“Try to see it from our point of view. We’re just trying to figure out how the peanuts got into his system?” Detective Sinclair pressed. “You just said you made his meal….”

He paused waiting for Mideah to add to his statement. But she didn’t. She remained silent with tears rolling down her face.

“We took some of the dishes and utensils for testing. We’ll know soon enough.” Fletcher added.

“You’ll know that what I’ve told you is the truth.” Mideah tried to keep her voice from cracking. “So, please do whatever it is you need to do and take me home.”

“Ok. Well, we’ll call you when we get the results.

“Can I go home now?” Mideah pushed. She was tired, irritated and frankly she just wanted to be in the privacy of her own home.

“Yes, of course.” Sinclair replied. “Give us a few minutes and we’ll get you on your way.”

Both detectives stepped out of the room. Mideah grabbed her purse from behind her, set it on her lap and with folded arms she waited. This was too much. She wasn’t an emotional woman but when she was upset, she was upset. All she wanted to do was go home, pour herself a glass of wine, get out of her dress and shoes and take a long, hot bath.

“Ok, you’re all squared away and free to go.” Sinclair said coming in through the door. “After you”.

He held the door open for her as Mideah got up and stepped out into the hallway. She felt like she stepped back into the world as the hustle and bustle of the station was now audible again.

Mideah followed the detectives outside and back into the unmarked police car. And even though she would have eyes periodically on her from the rearview mirror their attention was on dinner. Sinclair drove as they debated on Mexican or Italian. Their interrupted interest in her was needed. She welcomed the reprieve from questioning. She wanted to be forgotten for a while.

“Ok he we are.” Detective Sinclair said as they pulled into her driveway. The house seemed bigger somehow. They had picked it for the rooms and space. It had been meant to be filled. She realized now that it would never be filled. Jai’s black Hummer was parked outside the garage. Even the Hummer looked bigger. Mideah began walking up her driveway and was a little surprised to see the detectives get out of the car and follow her. She was ready to be rid of her tag-alongs.

She walked up the large porch, unlocking the door with a punch key code. Mideah stepped inside her house and into the living room. Detectives shortly behind her.

“Is there anything else detectives? I’d like to go to bed if you don’t mind.”

“There is one more thing. Were going to need your husband’s cell phone.”

“Whatever for?” Mideah raised her hand up before they could answer. “You know what? Here. It’s in here.”

She walked into the dining room over and removed the cell phone out of Jai’s suit jacket that hung on one of the dining room chairs. She handed the cell to Sinclair and folded her arms.

“Is there anything else?” Mideah suddenly noticed the gauze, empty medical supplies and lines scattered on the floor of the dining room. She looked over at the table that was perfectly set just a few hours before and noted the missing items taken by the police.

“Ok Mrs. Knight.” If there’s anything else you could think of, please don’t hesitate to call me.” Sinclair handed Mideah his card. “Anything at all.”

“Thank you, detectives.” Mideah took the card. She looked over at the table. “Actually, there is one more thing. I-I made a mistake.”

“A mistake?” Sinclair asked. Both their interests now piqued.

“Well, when you asked me if I made the meal myself. I didn’t.” Mideah stared at the table. “I mean I did, but not the casserole.”

“Who made the casserole? Was it store bought?”

“Oh no, not store bought.” Mideah scoffed. “Jai wouldn’t have liked that. Our friend Nedia made it.

“And who’s Nedia again?” Sinclair asked pulling out his note pad.

“Nedia is a dear friend of ours. Well she went to law school with Jai but we all hit it off. She’s one of my best friends.”

“She was here for dinner?”

“Oh no. She had made this a week ago for Jai.”

“For your husband?” fletcher asked with raised brow.

“Yes, for my husband. Again, she’s a close friend of ours. This was after Jai had his first reaction. She made it for him because she knew he liked it. I had placed it in the freezer and wanted to wait until he was feeling better. When his taste buds would appreciate it. It took him almost a week to recoup after that last reaction. He wasn’t up for much of anything up until this week.”

“Does Nedia know about his allergy? Her last name?”

“Yes, of course. Like I said, she’s been our friend for a very long time. Its Nedia Jackson. Most everyone knows he’s allergic. He had just made a doctor’s appointment for some more EpiPen’s because he used them all up during his last attacks. He’d probably be here if…”

“Ok, is there anything else?”

“Oh no, that was it.” Mideah took a deep breath as she looked around. “I guess being in here jogged my memory.”

“Ok then, good night Mrs. Knight.”

They both nodded and turned to leave. Mideah watched as they went back the way they came and down the driveway. Both detectives got back in the car and this time Mideah watched as they pulled away and drove out of her site. She turned and walked back into her place and shut and locked the door. She set the alarm and proceeded to the kitchen for her glass of wine.

With wine in hand, Mideah proceeded upstairs and into the master bedroom. The king size bed seem too large for her alone and she bypassed it and went straight into the bathroom. One of her favorite places. Her deep oval whirlpool tub had always brought her peace and tranquility. She hoped it would work its magic one more time. If just for a little while.

Mideah turned on the faucet and began filling the tub with warm water. She removed all her clothing and shoes and sat down naked on the side of the tub. She sipped on her wine as she added some scented bath salts and a few capfuls of bubbles. A little more than usual. She hoped the bubbles would help wash the day away. Help catch and quiet her mind so that she could relax.

This had been the worse day of her life. Never has she ever experienced something like this. Been so up close and personal with death. It was scary. And she hoped she’d never have to be ever again.

Mideah stopped her rambling thoughts before she went on overload. She knew she didn’t have to figure things out now. Right now, she just had to get in the tub. And that’s what she did. The warm water felt good. Instantly she began to feel her body relax. Her muscles unknot. She was in a cocoon of warmth. There she stayed with eyes closed sipping from her glass of wine. She regretted not bringing the bottle upstairs with her. Getting out now was out of the question.

It was quiet now, no other distractions held her. Making it easy for her mind to take over her thoughts. The wine wasn’t helping either. Bits and pieces of the day kept replaying. The wine made it harder to control her thoughts. Slowly Mideah let the day replay itself….

Mideah had awaken that morning to an empty bed. Unfortunately, it wasn’t an unusual occurrence. Jai was a busy man and his job sometimes demanded early mornings and late nights. They planned to see each other later at dinner. Mideah had a few hours to get her workout in, run some errands, get her mani/pedi and get back in time to start dinner.

She left the house and within a few hours she was back and ready to prepare dinner. She was eager to spend time with her husband. It had been a while since they had some alone time. This past year it was harder than usual to keep things running smoothly at home. With Jai’s constant absence it was a struggle. They had always been a team. But lately, she felt like she was in it alone.

Mideah checked her watch and before long she was showered and dressed and waiting for Jai to return home. He hadn’t text her all day, but she wasn’t concerned. He knew where he was supposed to be and when. The roast was almost done. The mashed potatoes and veggies were in the warmer. The casserole she would place that in the oven right before they started dinner. So, it could be nice and hot when she served it. It was one of his favorite dishes.

It wasn’t too much longer that Mideah heard the front door open and close. Jai was home. She heard his footsteps enter the living room.

“I’m in here baby.” She yelled out as she finished setting the table. Jai followed her voice and found her in the dining room. Stepping up behind her he planted a kiss on her neck and hugged her from behind. How she craved his touch. Mideah barely had time to sink into him before he cut off their embrace.

“How was your day?” Jai asked as he placed his cell phone in his suit jacket, take it off and then hang it on the chair beside him. Good she thought. She wanted his undivided attention. He pulled out his chair and sat down as he examined the table settings. “This looks nice.”

“Thank you, baby.” Mideah smiled at him warmly. “Your timing is perfect. I just took the roast out of the oven. And my day just got better now that you’re here.”

“mmmmm…did I hear you say roast?”

“Yes, you did. Garlic mashed potatoes and steamed green beans with garlic butter and a special surprise for dessert.”

“Oh wow, a special surprise did you say? Did I forget an anniversary?”

“Oh, you’d know if you forgot an anniversary baby.” Mideah replied.

“I guess I would.” He conceded.

“Now go wash up while I bring in dinner.”

Jai did as he was told without a word. By the time he got back, Mideah had dinner on the table. Jai sat down eagerly and began to place generous portions of food on his plate.”

“My goodness, baby.” Mideah giggled. “You can always make seconds.”

“That would interrupt my flow.” Jai placed the last item onto his plate and watched as Mideah did the same.

“Please don’t wait on my account.” Mideah smiled. “Dig in”

Jai didn’t hesitate. He cut off a piece of the roast on his plate and placed it in his mouth. And then closed his eyes.

“Mmmmm… This is cooked to perfection.” He praised. “It’s to die for.”

“Thank you, baby.” Mideah enjoyed watching him. He was always so animated when he tasted something he liked. “So, how was you’re day? How’s that deal going? Schwan or Schwab or something.”

“Its Schwan and its going great.” Jai responded in between mouthfuls.

“Are you guys almost done with the deal?”

“Honey, is it ok if we don’t talk about work?”

“Oh no not at all. I was just trying to get some conversation going. It’s been a while since we had time like this.”

“I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean to- “

“Lets just stop here. “She interrupted gently. “Let’s enjoy our dinner.”

Mideah smiled at Jai to reassure him that things didn’t go south. They sat and ate their dinner. Taking one bite after another and sipping on their wine until their plates where empty. Jai sat back and adjusted his belt. Even though he had nothing protruding.

“That! Was fantastic! You really, really put your foot in it this time.”

“We got one more thing on the menu too.” She stood up and walked out the room. She returned shortly with a dish in her hand with steam radiating from under the foil. She slowly placed it on the pot holder and sat back down across from Jai.

“And what may I ask is this?” With a big smile, he peeked under the foil. “Smells familiar.”

“It is.” Mideah pulled off the foil and set it aside.

“Is that what I think it is?” Jai’s eyes lit up as his hand rubbed vigorously together then stood up to place some on his dessert plate. “Honey, honey, honey.”

Mideah couldn’t help but laugh. “Don’t burn yourself now. I just took it out of the oven.”

Mideah took a small amount and placed it on her plate. She quietly watched as Jai, like a kid with ice cream, moan with every bite he took. She had barely started her first serving when he was place a second double serving onto his plate.

“You like it.” Mideah asked. “It’s Nedia’s”

Jai slowed for a few seconds, “oh?” And then continued devouring the casserole.

“How’s Nedia doing lately. She barely comes around anymore.”

He shrugged his shoulders as he stuffed more sweet potatoes into his mouth.

“She’s still at the firm, isn’t she?”

“Yes, she’s still at the firm.”

“Then how is she then?”

“I guess she’s doing ok? I don’t really know.”

“I don’t see why not. You guys spend an awful lot of time together.”

Jai’s mouth stopped moving and he looked up at Mideah. “What do you mean. I barely see-”

“I’ve been following you Jai.” Mideah said calmly as she wiped the corners of her mouth and placed her napkin onto her plate. Her eyes examined his every movement.

“Wha-What do you mean following me?” he asked with raised eye brows.

“I mean for the last 2 months I have been waiting for you to leave the house or the office and then I followed you. I had nothing else to do. I barely had a husband to take care of.” Mideah looked at her freshly manicured nails. “It wasn’t hard really. You didn’t go too many places. Home, office, coffee shop. But there was another place you seem to frequent often. Very often in fact. You want to know what place that was, baby?” Her gaze was piercing.

Jai sat there with his mouth open. Mideah patiently waited for him to get out of his stupor. He began fidgeting in his chair and loosening up his neck tie as he cleared his throat.

“Cat got ya tongue?”

“Honey, please.” Jai said, again, clearing his throat. “Let me explain.”

“Explain what baby?” She laughed. “I didn’t ask you to explain anything. What I asked was ‘do you know who’s house you’ve frequented the most these last 2 months. For hours at a time. Multiple days out the week. Even on Sundays.” Her matter-of-fact tone was chilling. She placed both her elbows onto the table and placed her chin onto her fists.

“I-I don’t understand.” Jai looked flustered and out of breath. Sweat beads began to form on his forehead. “W-why were you following me?”

Mideah smiled. “So, like you to try and deviate the conversation. Well, since you won’t answer, I will. Nedia’s house!”

“Honey, pleas-, Please- I can explain. Just- give me a chance to-” His breaths where now pursed as he tried to plead with her.

“You can explain?” Mideah could feel her fury rising. Was he trying to talk his way out of it? “You can explain what? How I sacrificed my future to build this one with you. How much of myself I’ve given you over the years. How foolish I’ve been to think that we had something sacred. Something specia-” Mideah’ s voice cracked. She let out a chilling laugh as her rant continued. “What were those vows… let me think.”

“I am proud to be your wife and to join my life with yours.” Slowly standing up she walked around the table. “I vow to support you, encourage you, inspire you and above all love you and to cherish for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness…. until we are parted-by-death.”

Her last words brought chills up Jai’s spine as he struggled to take a breath. Mideah stood over him as he sat helplessly in his chair. He was wheezing now. His tongue and lips felt heavy and he felt dizzy.

“You, you poisoned- “

“Poisoned you?” Placing her hand upon her chest. “Why I didn’t make that casserole.” “That was from your precious cum bucket whore!” She yelled.

“H-hon--, P-please help…” Jai pleaded weakly.

“You didn’t think I would know? I know you Jai Raymond Knight. Probably more than you know yourself. And you should know me by now too.” Mideah sat down in the chair beside him. Inching closer, she grabbed his hand ignoring his state. Tears filled her eyes.

“How could you do this to me Jai? How could you do this to us? I loved you so much. I would have done anything for you. Gone anywhere with you. Don’t you value that anymore? Don’t you value me anymore? When I first saw you together I was devastated, I didn’t know what to do. I cried and cried. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep. I lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks and you didn’t even notice.”

Mideah let go of his hand abruptly. “It was the hardest thing to pretend not to know that your husband and best friend was fucking behind your back. Laughing at you.” Mideah angrily wiped at her tears and leaned in closer to Jai.

Whispering she says, “But I figured it out. I always figure things out. After my first attempt failed.” She waited for that to sink in before continuing. “It was like a gift fell into my lap when she showed up announced. That bitch had the nerve to show up here, at my fucking house. To see my fucking husband, whom she happened to be fucking.”

In a mimicking, high pitch tone she said. “She was so concerned and was wondering how you was holding up.” Her eyes narrowed. “How nice of her to check in on a dear friend right? But how extra wonderful of her to bring your favorite sweet potato casserole. She even topped them with pecans.” Mideah’s sinister smiled didn’t reach her eyes. She placed her hand over her mouth feigning surprised realization. “Oh dear, do you think she forgot about your allergy and accidently added peanuts?”

Jai’s eyes widened. He jerked and struggled to stand up and found himself on the floor. Attempting to crawl he looked over at his jacket for his phone. He was weak. He was sweating profusely, and his wheezing had worsened. Mideah quickly got up and turned him over. Jai was defenseless to her. He lifted his hands up over his face in defense.

“I’m not going to hit you baby. That would be too hard to explain and very messy.” Mideah said sweetly. “I just want to see you so that I can know exactly when to call 911. Don’t want to call them to soon.”

She stood and watched as Jai got weaker and weaker. She watched as her future faded away with him. She turned and grabbed her phone….

Mideah’s twirled her glass of wine. It was empty. She had no clue how long she was in the tub, but she knew some time had passed because the water was now getting cold. She stepped out of the tub and wrapped herself in a long black plush robe. She wanted another glass of wine. She needed to plan out her next moves carefully. Soon the detectives will know of the affair. A simple look into cell phone records should raise more suspicion if not spell it out. She was proud of herself at how she strategically left out until the very last minute the detail about who made the casserole. Mideah’s plan was almost complete.

She was numb at this point. Her emotions had been on a roller coaster ride that included, disbelief, sadness, anger and despair. Her heart still ached for Jai despite his infidelity, despite her actions, she still loved him. But she’ll be damned if she was made a fool of. That was not the woman she was or ever will be. One of the things that Jai loved about her but seemed to forget.

This time Mideah filled her wine glass up to the rim as she pondered her next move or lack of it. She had to be smart. She would wait a good six months after Jai was dead and buried before even checking or talking about his life insurance. She wouldn’t do anything except be the grieving widow. Jai had talked about it when he started the firm. That the ridiculous amount his company had set up for him made him feel like he had a bounty on his head. He even joked about ways she could do it. With peanuts. How ironic it was that he played out his own death. Of course, Nedia wasn’t in his version.

She was patient. Always had been. She would play the grieving widow until the dust settled. When it was all done. Case closed. Condolence cards stopped coming. Her life will be her own again and nothing or no one will take it away.

The sound of the doorbell interrupted her thoughts. She looked over at the clock on the microwave. 11:52. Who could it be at this hour. Had the detectives returned? Had she left out a detail to her plan. She tried to think about what she told them and did a quick replay in her mind. The doorbell chimed two more times. Whoever it was they were inpatient because knocks soon followed. Reluctantly, Mideah walked over to the front door, taking care not to make a sound. Looking into the peep hole, she couldn’t believe her eyes.

Nedia stood on the other side of the door looking pitiful. It was obvious she had been crying long and hard because her eyes were puffy and bloodshot. As soon as Mideah opened the door she walked in and engulfed her in a hug. Her uncontrolled sobs were loud and annoying. But she didn’t push her away. She returned the hug and even rubbed on her back. They stood there for a while with the door open.

Nedia has always worn her heart on her sleeve. A trait that the reserved Mideah did not have. It was probably this trait that cause the guilt that had her MIA. Too busy to do this. Too busy to do that. All the while she was…

Mideah pulled away from the hug, walked around Nedia and closed the door.

“You would swear you just lost your husband or something the way you’re carrying on.” Mideah watched her response.

Nedia seemed to calm her sobs then and took a few deep breaths.

“I’m so sorry Mideah. I’m so, so sorry.” She wiped at her face, but the tears kept coming.

Mideah walked into the living room and Nedia followed like a lost puppy dog. They both sat down on the sofa facing each other.

“Why are you sorry Nedia? You didn’t do anything.”

“I-I mean. I’m sorry for your loss. I just can’t believe he’s gone. We were-. I mean, I just saw him at work.”

“How did you find out.” Mideah probed. “It’s late. I figured I’d call the office in the morning.”

“I called-” She sniffed. “I mean I called him you know, about work. You know, about that deal.”

“Oh, you mean the Schieffer deal?”

“Um yeah, that one. And so, so the police answered.”

“Yeah, they took Jai’s phone, the food and some of my pots and pans.”

“Oh” Nedia said puzzled. “I wonder what for? I’m supposed to go down to the station tomorrow morning. I thought they said this was an allergic reaction or something.” Nedia’s faced turned to a grimace as she burst into tears her shoulders shaking violently. “He wasn’t supposed to go out this way.”

“You better get yourself together” Media warned. “before they realize you’ve been fucking my husband, you backstabbing little hoe.”

Mideah’s voice was so low and calm that Nedia wasn’t sure she heard correctly over her sobs.

“Excuse me?” She asked her breath catching from her sobs.

Mideah scooted a bit closer invading her personal space and looking her square in the face.

“Woman to woman, tell me the truth. Especially now. How long? How long have you been fucking my husband?”

Nedia was stunned and although her mouth was open it took a minute before a response came.

“Mideah please. Why would- I would nev-”

Mideah’s hands flew across Nedia’s cheek fast and hard, causing her head to turn from the force. Things went quiet. Nedia sat there. Dumbfounded, she slowly placed her hand on her achy cheek.

“Don’t you dare lie to me.” Mideah warned, slowly shaking her head. “Not now. Not after this night. You don’t gets to lie to my face anymore heffer. Now answer me.” Her last sentence came out in a shout.

“I- I don’t know what to say.”

“Tell me the truth.”

“I... we, it just happened. We never planned this. We didn’t want to hurt you.”

Mideah started laughing almost uncontrollably. Nedia looked at her unsure if she should run or sit still.

“You didn’t want to hurt me?” Mideah sighed. “Oh, you’re too much girl.”

“Mideah please. Let me explain.”

“I thought you were my friend. ‘Hurt’, Mideah repeated with air quotes. “is not quite the word I would use. How about betrayed, naïve, aaannngry…” Mideah’s words slithered out of her mouth with disgust. “You make me sick. You lying whore. You’re so broken you just want to break everything else around you. Get out of my house.” Mideah flung her arm in the direction of the front door never once breaking her eye contact.

“Mideah, please. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please just let me… just let me explain-” Nedia reached out to touch her arm but she jerked her arm before she could.

“I hope you rot in a 6 by 8 feet hell for the rest of your life.” Mideah spat with narrow eyes. Her stare was menacing.

Nedia turned for the door. She must have sensed the hatred coming from her. There was no getting through to Mideah tonight. And she was getting scared as Mideah followed behind her. She quickly opened the door and went down the steps. It was pitch black except for her porch light. She turned to see Mideah watching her.

“Oh, by the way.” Mideah yelled out. Her demeanor now sweet and friendly. “I wanted to thank you for the casserole. Jai wasn’t able to eat it until last night. At least his last bites were of his favorite desserts. Too bad we couldn’t have some tonight to share. We seem to share everything else. Oh well. The police took it as evidence.” She let out a strange laugh. “What they think they’ll find who knows. Anyway,” Her face now stern as she turned back towards her door. “Don’t ever come back here if you know what’s good.”

Nedia looked up from the bottom of the porch as Mideah went inside and closed the door. Her cryptic words nagged at her, but she shook it off as her need for distance suddenly overcame her.

**********

Mideah could hear her doorbell ring as she woke from her drunken slumber. After Nedia’s departure she had finished off that bottle of wine and opened another one. She was worried she let the cat out too soon. Did she say too much? She had passed out in the den, cursing herself out for her moment of weakness. Plus, her marital bed was of little interest to her anymore. No matter how comfortable that $10,000 mattress was. A second chime came from the doorbell. She wished it out of the wall so that she could have quiet. Her head wasn’t happy.

“Mrs. Knight,” Detective Fletcher called from behind the door. “It’s detective Sinclair and Fletcher.”

Wow, he sure was eager to talk to her. As if he knew she was within ear’s reach, he continued to call out for her. She could just not answer and continue her slumber. But what would that look like. She was eager to get all this over with. And she wanted to see if she could get any info on Nedia’s interview.

“Coming.” she yelled as she tried to straighten herself out. She walked over to a hanging mirror in the hall and suddenly decided she looked just as she should. A mourning wife. Confident on her disheveled appearance, she let the detectives in.

“Sorry, to disturb you like this, so soon.” Sinclair apologized as he walked in. Fletcher closely behind him.

“Please come in.” Mideah smoothed out her hair and showed them to the living room. “Sorry, I don’t usually look like this.”

The face son the detective was grim and sullen. They apparently had something to tell her.

“Don’t sweat it.” Fletcher stated. “We can’t all look perfect all the time.”

“Would you guys like a cup of coffee, some water maybe?” Mideah ignored the comment and tried to be hospitable despite her mild irritation.

“No, no. Mrs. Knight, we just wanted to ask you some additional questions. Clear some things up, that’s all.” Detective Sinclair looked apologetic. It put her at ease.

“Ok. Please ask away, anything I can do to help.”

“You said Nedia was a close friend of your husbands, correct?”

“She was a close friend of both of ours.”

“Ok, gotcha. How close were the two of you?”

“Pretty close. Like I said we’ve known her since law school. So, I would say that she is one of our dearest and closest friends. Why?”

“Mrs. Knight, did you know that she was having an affair with your husband?”

“Wha-“ Mideah feigned surprise and disbelief. She slowly sat down. “I don’t understand. What do you mean an affair? My husband would never do anything like that to me. He was a good man. He loved me.”

“Mrs. Knight. I’m sorry to have to ask you these questions.”

“My husband and Nedia? I don’t believe it. Why would she show her face if she was sleeping with him? How do you know all this?”

“She called his cell phone last night. We were able to talk to her this morning. Yeah, she denied it at first. Kind of hard to explain why you’re calling a married co-worker’s phone so late at night especially when the police answers. But we finally got her to admit it. It had been going on for several months now. Maybe on and off for years even.” Sinclair explained.

“For years?” Her mouth dropped at the thought.

“She was over here last night you said?” Fletcher jumped in. “What happened?”

“Nothing happen. I mean she was acting weird. But people react to death differently. She came to give her condolences.” Mideah looked over at the couch they sat in last night. “She was so upset, crying and carrying on. It took me by surprised really. How upset she was, I mean. She kept on repeating I’m sorry, I’m sorry. We hugged and then she left. Now it all makes sense.”

“So, you didn’t suspect that your husband was having an affair?” Fletcher asked.

“I guess the wife is always the last to know.” Mideah stated sarcastically. Fletcher was really getting under her skin.

“She had this idea that you put something in that casserole to frame her.”

“The casserole? Why would I put something in the casserole? I didn’t even know they were having an affair. So what reason would I have? This is getting ridiculous.” Mideah sighed. “I thought me, and Jai had a solid marriage. We were even going to try for a baby this year. I told her this at the company event. She seemed so happy for me. I just don’t understand.”

“People never really know anyone. In our line of work we see these types of things all the time.’ He sighed looking over at his partner and they exchanged a look.

“Is that what you came here for. To tell me that my husband is having an affair with my best friend?” Mideah stood up and proceeded to show them to the door. “Detectives, if there’s no more bad news, I’d like to be alone now?”

“Well, thank you again for taking the time to answer our questions.” Sinclair reached out to shake her hand. “We’ll be on our way.”

Mideah closed the door behind them with a slight slam. A proud smile formed on her face. She should have been an actress. Her mission was almost complete. Soon she will be 1.5 million dollars richer. Jai will be six feet under and Nedia will be rotting in hell. She just had to be patient. As far as she was concerned she deserved it.

“Bye Mrs. Knight.” Yelled a little boy as he bolted through her screen door carrying his violin case. “See you next week.”

Mideah smiled and waved bye from behind her screen as she watches him get into his mom’s car and drive off. The day was almost over. She locked the front door, poured herself a glass of red wine and went out to her back porch which overlooked the beach. The sun was setting, and the sky was a mix of pinks and oranges. A great end to a beautiful day.

Her life was now her own to do with as she pleased. And though she ached for Jai some nights, her despair was cut short in the thought of where Nedia would be spending the rest of her days. This was how she was able to move on. Some people would just leave but Mideah was never like the rest. Jai forgot that. He didn’t see that her love was meant to strengthen and make him the best he could be. Instead he took her love and pounded it into the ground. And so she put him there with it. Her loss left her a richer woman. Even after the construction of her house and music studio, she had a lot left over. She would finally do the things she had planned way back when. She would finally live her life for her and no one else. Mideah vowed no one would ever play her for a fool ever again in sickness or in health.