Till Death

Freija woke from her slumber and a smile curled at her lips. It had been a good night. She could feel Trevor’s warm, toned body pressed up against her, his arms wrapped cozily around her waist. She fit perfectly into him. It was a good feeling. A damn good feeling, she thought to herself, waking up in a man’s arms. She missed it tremendously. It had been almost 2 and a half years since she laid like this with a man.

Over 2 years since she had let herself be pursued by a man, wined and dined by a man, touched by a man, loved by a man or allow herself to love a man. The love part was something she still wasn’t sure she was willing to do again. The last time she loved a man, it didn’t end well. But at the same time, she longed for all those things and more. Marriage, babies and happily ever after. She wanted to open her heart up. She wanted to love a man. Freija was channeled and programmed to love and be loved. It was her nature.

Freija could be any man’s ideal woman. At 28, she had been a registered nurse for over 6 years and had recently been promoted to clinical manager in her department. Her nursing career was taking off and she was happy with where it was going. She owned her own home and car. No children or crazy exes. Good credit, good teeth, good hair. Freija was pleasing to the eye to say the least. She worked out for 2 hours, 3 days a week. Her chocolate toned frame still had endless curves and nicely sized humps in just the right places. Her hair was never out of place and flowed well past her shoulders in a layered cut. Her light brown eyes and bright smile lit up a room. She was very agreeable to most people she encountered. She should be married and with one on the way right now. But she wasn’t.

Love was a dangerous thing when it came to her. Opening her heart was like opening a black hole that would eventually swallow whomever she loved whole. It was something she had finally come to terms with. She was cursed. It took two fatal relationships but now she no longer had any doubts about her fate when it came to love.

This… curse is not something she fully understands but for the most part it was something that ran in her bloodline. Passed on for generations, only inflicting the women. The sons were spared. Like her dad, Maurice. He was a pretty rational man. He didn’t believe much but what he can see and feel. Since it never loomed over him, his mother’s warnings of cursed daughters and widows never seemed more than an old island wives’ tale. And so Freija never truly believed it too.

But her last relationship was heart wrenching. She had no choice but to believe. CJ was a good man. A gentle giant who always found a way to make her laugh. They were friends for a long time before they started dating. They worked together. And even though he was into her, she insisted they remain co-workers who liked to hang out. Reluctantly, he agreed but his pursuit never wavered. Freija was unwilling but eventually his charm wore her down.

CJ was a nice guy and physically pleasing to the eye. 6 feet 4 inches tall with a slender build, he could pass for an NBA star easily. His curly brown hair, light brown eyes and thick eyebrows made him a favorite with the other ladies. Co-workers and patients alike. He was a physical therapist at her hospital. And even though he was popular with the ladies, CJ only had eyes for her. Freija liked it too. It made her feel special. Whenever there was an event or concert, or anything going on really, he’d ask her to be his plus one. They had so much in common. One day she finally said yes. That was the beginning of the end for CJ. Only he didn’t know it. And at the time, Freija didn’t want to believe it.

She should have learned her lesson with CJ. So why was she there with Trevor now. When she knew their fate if things got serious between them. She tried not to think about it. She wasn’t planning on falling in love again. Period. She tried to center her focus on the feeling of his bare skin up against hers, the smell of his cologne and the tickle from his breaths. Instinctively she pressed back against him to get full contact. His arms wrapped tighter around her. At that moment, she felt this was exactly where she belonged.

They both laid there bare. Last night was much needed and appreciated Freija thought. Trevor had really taken his time to devour every inch of her. He was a god in bed and she knew she was up for seconds, thirds and so on and so on. The man was great with his fingers, his tongue, his lips and his flow. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to walk if she got out of bed. Not that she’d want to right now.

When she agreed to this weekend getaway, she thought she was being weak. Playing with fire even. She had been so successful at keeping Trevor at bay. But she could feel him seeping in to her thoughts. He was charming to say the least. By the third date, he was on her mind daily. This weekend getaway was their fourth date, but they had met and began dating almost 6 months before. The attraction was so intense. From the moment he picked her up, the drive, the hours at dinner, to the moment they walked into the junior suite, their flirtatious conversation were leading in one direction. Once the door closed to the hotel room, he wasted no time exploring the room before Freija was naked and moaning in the king size bed. It was like he knew exactly what she needed and knew how to give it her just the way she’d like it.

If only these last several hours could repeat itself for the rest of their lives. They’d live in perpetual bliss. Every night left spent from love making. They were in perfect sync last night. Every move he made she would counter and vice versa. Yeah, she can relive that every day. She squeezed her eyes shut and wished it. She almost laughed out loud at her childish thoughts. This of course was not her reality and never will be.

This weekend is supposed to be, “our ‘unwind and get comfortable’ with each other weekend” as Trevor had put it. For weeks now Freija had avoided getting… comfortable. Things had slowed after their third date. Not for lack of effort on Trevor’s part but mostly lack of effort of hers. But Trevor was on a mission. And that mission was called operation Freija. Trevor had put in work trying to win her over. And he had succeeded long before he realized.

Freija thought back on the first date they had. It was wonderful. The second date was even better. Their attraction was almost explosive. It took almost all the strength she had to not tell him to follow her home. Three dates and he still hadn’t known where she lived. They spent almost 30 minutes outside the dance club talking… hugging… kissing. It had felt good. His soft lips but demanding tongue, his large warm hand on her lower back, pressing his hard body against hers. It had all felt good.

Trevor was too wonderful. Any other woman would have snatched him up after the first date, installed some security cameras and put up a sign for other women that says, ‘trespassers be warned’. They would never let him out of their sight. Freija, on the other hand, had tried to push him away. Things wasn’t that simple for Freija. Even though she wanted those same things, to love and be loved by a wonderful devoted man, the happily ever after wasn’t made for her blood. Literally. Love for Freija was ensuing grief.

“Hey sweet lady” Trevor whispered in her ear as he placed a kiss on the back of her neck. “You sleep ok?”

Freija wiggled her body into him so that she could feel every inch of the back of her body on him. “I slept really good.” She moaned lightly. “You?”

“Best sleep I’ve had in months. At this very moment I can’t find I single thing to complain about. Thanks for agreeing to this weekend.” He kissed her gently on the neck and then turned her face for a slow and long good morning kiss. Which she took happily and greedily.

When he broke the kiss, Freija’s eyes remained closed. She wanted to savor the feeling of his lips on hers for a little while longer.

“Good morning Lady.” Trevor smooth deep voice hummed in her ear. Freija opened her eyes to find him looking down at her as if it was the first time he’d seen her. “I can’t believe we’re finally here.”

“Why do you say that?” Freija asked looking up at him, feigning ignorance.

“You’re really asking me that question?” Trevor asked with a raised brow. “Miss disappearing acts herself.”

“I didn’t disappear.” Freija responded with a giggle. “Aren’t you exaggerating just a tad bit.” Freija shrugged her shoulders back to nudge him.

“Frei, you had me feeling like a stalker. I won’t tell you all I did to try and find your address, but it was straight stalk-ish behavior.”

She laughed out loud then. He playfully bit at her neck and chuckled himself.

“At first I thought you were involved. Married maybe. And that’s why you would go MIA. I never had a woman disappear on me before. Not when we’d had such a good time. And not return my phone calls.”

“I called you back.” Freija added

“We played phone tag for weeks.”

“I hadn’t called a woman that much since junior high school. Our third date…” He cleared his throat’ “2 months after our second, I may add, we had such a good time. I was expecting a different ending but...”

“I’m sure you were.” Freija laughed.

“Oh, I know you felt it too. There was no way this was one sided. Was it? He asked looking down at her waiting for an answer. “Was I wrong?” He added.

“No, you weren’t alone. That night after the club, you had me feeling some type of way. I almost told you to follow me home.”

“Well why didn’t it happen?” You don’t seem like a woman who likes to play games? Trevor asked as his eyes stayed fixed on hers.

She turned her body to face him and caressed his face.

“I’m not.”

“I almost followed you home. I wanted you so bad. But I knew if I did it might scare you off. Things were already delicate with you” He added softly kissing her hand and grabbing her waist to pull her closer.

Trevor had no idea that he probably would have gotten the prize if he had. But Freija wasn’t going to tell him that now. She knew what he was talking about. Their attraction had always been intense. From the moment they met. Almost 6 months ago, she at the last minute decided to attend a birthday party for one of her friends.

Her friends had been worried about her and had pressured her into going to get out of her rut. There, she was introduced to Trevor. It was definitely a set up. Somehow, they were the only single people at the party.

“I called you to make sure you got home ok.”

“Such a gentleman.” She said reaching up to kiss his neck.

“But when I called again the next day and couldn’t reach you for the rest of the week, I seriously thought something happened to you.” His face now serious as he looked out the window. His grip on her waist firm. “I was really worried. I don’t know.” He said as he laid his forehead onto her back. “My friends kept on telling me that I probably dodged a bullet. That you were too good to be true. And probably had psychotic with homicidal tendencies.”

“Gee, thanks.” Freija said dryly.

Trevor chuckled. “I didn’t get that with you, though. The vibes were right each time. The vibes are right now.”

“You ever think that maybe I just didn’t like you.” She said poking him with her finger and pursing her lips to hold back a smile.

“There was no way you didn’t like me. No way.” Trevor responded shaking his head.

“No way, huh?”

“No way, Frei.” He repeated firmly.

She laughed out loud again. He liked that he had a nick name for her already. His cockiness was a turn on for her. He was right too. The vibe was right. That was exactly why she was trying so hard to stay away. If she could only tell him the reason why. Would he be here right now? Attraction aside. If he knew. He’d run. They’d all run. Fast and far.

It was selfish to be here with Trevor knowing what she knew. Blame it on her loneliness. She was losing herself in her solitude. Freija had a horrible secret. And it was hers to bare alone. Maybe if she had an instruction manual with a warning written right on the first page in bold black letters.

CURSED. DON’T PROCEED WITH CAUTION, TURN AROUND AND RUN.

Maybe then she can stop the inevitable. Stop this plague. This curse from ruining her life. But then she would never be loved. She would never have her ever after or any version of it. And she was weak. All her life, she thought her grandmother hated her. A stern woman, most feared her. She never actually mistreated Freija. But she would tell her things. Things Freija didn’t really understand back then. At the time it seemed hurtful and mean. She could laugh at the young and naïve Freija. She didn’t get that her grandmother was only trying to shield her from the sinister fate she knew was coming. Funny how things are always clearer in hind sight. With life, you always seem to learn the lesson after the test.

Love had found her effortlessly but also able to leave just as easily. Why was this happening to her? Didn’t she deserve to be loved? Freija vividly remembers each time she realized she was in love. Each time it had wrecked her. CJ died just over 2 years ago. And it had taken her this long to get over the heartache of losing him. Still she feels like a piece of her was buried with him. She had given him the best year of his life.

Freija was good at giving love just as easily as it came to her. She didn’t know how to love any other way. Once she realized she was in love, she gave all her heart and soul to him. She had to. It was the only way she could live with herself knowing what she knew.

Because once she falls in love with any man, the moment she realizes she loves him, it all comes back to her and the time clock begins. How twisted is fate that at the moment you realize you love a man, you also realize he will die because of it.

The curse, the heartache and her new loves fate will be shown to her every night in a dream until his death. The dreams usually lasting a year, a piece at a time until she’s able to see the exact manner and time of his death. So, in that year she will love him like no other woman has loved a man before. Doing any and everything to please him. A fairy tale within a nightmare. Sick and twisted that she would forget. Love was a strong adversary. So far it had a huge lead. So why play with fire? And why make it so easy? Freija just couldn’t answer.

Since her first heartache, she had never been the same. Almost as if parts of her heart will forever remain hardened. Seph and CJ. Both good men. Both dead because they loved her. Seph got it the worst because she tried to intervene. Foolishly she tried to stop him from his fate. She told him of the curse and the dreams she’d been having. She tried to tell him to stay home that day thinking if they waited it out. If they can make it through to the next day, they’d live happily ever after. Again, she was foolish. She knows that now. Not only did death take him. But it took him savagely. After being trapped in the car for hours with multiple fractures, lacerations and contusions. He remained conscious and in agony the whole time, Seph was air lifted to the nearest trauma center where he was pronounced dead shortly after arriving. In her dreams, he died a quick and painless death. In reality, because of her interference he went much worse.

Trevor will not be number 3. He was good company, that’s all. Actually, he was great company, easy to hang out with and great in bed. That is all he will be. Love will not enter the mix. Freija tried to believe her own words.

“Hey lady, you ok?” Trevor looked down at her.

Freija looked up at him and realized she had a frown her face. She smiled, fearing he saw right through her thoughts. “I’m good babe.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but, we need to get out of bed.”

“Oh yeah, why’s that?”

He got out of bed, purposely taking the sheets with him. “We got plans, so we need to get a move on.”

Freija’s attention was now on the hot bodied man standing bare before her. She watched as he put on his boxers without any shame. He was definitely eye candy. Just over 6 feet, his toned physique showed how well he cared for himself. Milky Chocolaty, west Indian skin tone, no muscle was left undefined. How this man was hers for the taking was an enigma.

Trevor was a successful broker. He was 32 years old and somehow, single. He too owned his own home, had no crazy exes, good credit, good teeth and wore his head bald with a well-trimmed beard. He was self-made, and worked his way from the bottom to the top. Trevor was determined and ambitious. When he saw something he wanted, he went for it. No holds bar. These were the men that flocked her way. Her windfall was their downfall.

“First you wanted me in the bed,” She responded playfully turning over to her side to face him, “now you want me out?”

“Don’t tempt me woman.” His eyes slowly perused her exposed body. “Don’t tempt me.”

“Ok, well if you insist.” She shrugged.

“This weekend is more than that. I want us to really get to know each other. I can’t believe I’m about to say this but, I really like you Freija. I see potential in this. Don’t you?” He asked his gaze unwavering from across the bed.

“Yes, I do. I do want us to get to know each other…”. Her voice trailed as she broke the gaze and looked down at her bare legs.

“Why do I feel like there is a ‘but’ in there.” Trevor walked around to her side of the bed and sat down. Lifting her head to face him he says to her, “I don’t know why you are so scared of this. I noticed you barely speak about your past relationships. And that’s ok. All I’m asking is for us to take it one day at a time. I won’t hurt you Freija. I am not trying to play you or anything like that.”

Freija felt moved by his declaration. She could feel movement within her stiffened and almost frozen heart. She couldn’t and wouldn’t fall in love with this man. She had to be careful to keep her heart closed off no matter what. It was the only way she could be with him. She had tried to stay away. But her need for companionship won over reason and selflessness.

Freija sat up, grabbed both sides of his face and kissed him. It was a deep and long kiss, she hoped said the words that she wouldn’t dare let pass her lips. She hoped he was able to feel her want and need. And also feel her turmoil. This kiss held a lot.

“See, a kiss like that. Hmmm.” Trevor smacked her thighs lightly and jumped out of bed. “I see you don’t fight fair.”

“What?” She asked coyly, slowly getting out of bed and head into to the bathroom. Putting a little more hip into each step then normal. Causing her booty to jiggle just right as she walked into the bathroom. Trevor chuckled and shook his head.

“You are definitely deadly woman.”

Trevor’s last sentence echoed in her ear as she stood behind the bathroom door trying to stop a full-blown panic attack. His words rang so true. She was deadly. She was also selfish, and she knew it. Taking several deep breaths, Freija walked over to the toilet and sat down to relieve herself. She was sore in all the right places. Which brought back the memories she will forever have of the night before. She allowed her mind to trail into those memories and forget her gloom. A light knock came at the door.

“Want some company?” Trevor asked from behind the door.

“Just a second.” Freija responded quickly getting off the toilet and flushing. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed while she was in her daydream. “Come in.”

“I figured we’d kill some time if we, you know, showered together.”

Freija couldn’t help but laugh. They both knew that the moment they started touching each other things would get heated.

“Only if you promise to behave.”

“Do I have to promise?”

Laughing, she responded, “No, you don’t have to promise.”

He turned on the shower, removed his boxers and kicked them off to the other side of the bathroom. Freija wrapped her hair up and placed the hotel shower cap over her hair. Extending his hand out to her he helped her into the large shower stall and closed the door behind them. Facing sideways so that the water can hit both of them, Freija closed her eyes as the warm water washed over her body. She can feel still feel Trevor’s heat behind her as she basked in both the water and his body heat.

Her tensed muscles began to relax. Her troubled thoughts now completely gone. Neither of them said a word. Trevor inched closer and then he slowly began rubbing soap onto her back, her neck and arms. His wonderful hands. The slickness of the soap allowed them to move fluently. They slid over her back, sides and shoulders, then down her arms. Her breath would hitch every time he brushed up against her breast. Then, as if he read her mind, his hands were there, on her breasts. And that made her jelly. He had no idea what he was unleashing. If he kept this up, she was about to go buck wild, the hell with her press and curl. She’d go natural for the rest of the weekend. This man…

Trevor’s hands continued to lather her body with soap and slowly explored. Taking his time in certain areas which Freija appreciated. The warmth of the water and the attention from his hands had her legs feeling jiggly. She turned to face him and brought him down for a kiss. Without a word she wrapped her legs around him without breaking the kiss and guided him in. Their passionate and lustful embrace, bodies slick from the soap and water, was in sync. Their movements, like a dance, choreographed as they went along. It drove them both wild. They fed off each other. And for almost an hour they were lost in their dance. Oblivious to the anything else around them. Including her melting heart. And the curse lying in wait behind it.

Freija pulled out her suitcase and took out some shorts, a tank and her bathing suit. Her thoughts were all good. She realized she really needed that… shower. A smile curled on her lips as she played the events back in her head. She removed her towel and proceeded to get dressed. Her hair hadn’t survived their little tryst, but she didn’t care.

“Nice to be able to put that smile on your face.”

Freija’s smile widened as she turned and realized he was watching her.

“You’re beautiful. You know that?”

“Are you trying to leave the room or stay?”

“Now that’s a tricky question. I mean, a man can never have his fill but- “

“So why leave the room until you’ve had your fill?” She asked flirtatiously placing her hand on her hip.

Trevor laughed out loud. Shaking his head, he said, “You trying to walk this weekend? Keep taunting me, you’ll need a wheelchair at check out.”

“Hmmm…” Freija said pondering the idea. Trevor raised an eyebrow in warning. Freija couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ok, ok, I’m ready. What’s on the agenda?”

“You’ll see.” He said as he grabbed his wallet, key card and her hand and headed out of the room.

The whole weekend was memorable. They did a lot of things she had told him she wanted to do but never had a chance. Trevor was listening. He really went out of his way to show her a wonderful time. They spent most of the day time at the beach, paddle boarding, scuba diving, snorkeling and jet skiing. They had dinner on a fancy yacht that also had a nightclub. They went on a hike and watched the sun set. All in all, it was a great weekend. All Freija’s doubts and worries began to fade away.

For next several months Trevor became a fixture in her life. Without a worry in the world, they enjoyed the time they spent together. They went out to dinners, concerts, hung out at each other’s places and met most of each other’s friends. They even spent the holidays together. They hung out whenever their schedule permitted.

Freija, like the other times before had forgotten the curse. Fate will take its course whether she was aware of it or not. It was a twisted fate that would allow her to fall in love again and forget the heartache she was soon to face. A horrid curse flowed through her veins. It was her bloodline. Her destiny.

From what she could remember from her grandmother’s stories, one of her great grandmothers, back in the islands, had conjured up her dead husband after losing him to some respiratory sickness. Grief stricken she used obeah and other voodoo rituals to bring him back. For days she stood over his lifeless body chanting for hours and hours until his spirit returned to his body. Ignoring the warnings of the elders in her village. She didn’t care of the consequences.

Years passed, they lived a simple happy life and had 4 daughters. Until his second death shortly after the birth of their last child. Her grandmother had described it as an unimaginable death, but never told her exactly how. Just that his body was left badly mangled and disfigured. These were Freija’s bedtime stories.

The curse was not realized until the daughters were grown. All four daughters grew up to be healthy, beautiful women. Despite the dark cloud surrounding their creation, one by one they found love, married and by the birth of their first child, one by one the husbands would die various deaths. Though devastated, love was easy for them to find a second time around. And again, they remarried and again their husbands died.

Love was a death sentence for the man that fell in love with a cursed woman within her bloodline. Freija was of that bloodline. Love found her easy. Even if she was a needle among hundreds of other needles in the deep blue sea surrounded by a pile of hay, it would find her. Like a dog to a bone. Love had her scent. It would find her, she would forget and then it would leave her.

“So, I’ll see you later tonight?” Trevor asked over the phone. “I should be there before midnight, hopefully.”

“I’ll be up babe. Can’t wait to see you.”

“Its on when I get there. Be warned.” He said, his voice low and deep.

Freija giggled into her phone. She was at work, so her responses were limited, and he knew it too.

“Ok, babe.”

“You gonna let me have that sweet pudding.”

“uh, sure. Babe.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He responded. “You can’t deny this.”

“you’re too much.” Freija said her smile wide and bright.

“I’m just enough Frei, just enough.” Trevor sighed into the phone. “I’ve been missing you since I left.”

“I’ve been missing you too.” Freija responded. “And tonight, all that will end.”

“Yes, it will.”

“I got a few more minutes on my shift and then I’m heading out. Call me when you hit California.”

“Ok lady, I’ll will. I- “

“You cut off, babe.” Freija said holding her other ear closed with her free hand to hear better.

“Nothing Frei, I’ll call you in a few. We’ll talk when I get there”

Freija ended the call and stared at the picture of her and Trevor at Disneyland on her desk. Her smile brightened as her eyes set on Trevor’s smile. His smile was hypnotizing. Everything about him was hypnotizing. She couldn’t imagine life without him. She realized then how much she missed him.

Trevor had been away in Arizona for the last week at a convention for his brokerage firm. It was the longest time they have been away from each other since their first weekend together. The last few months had been wonderful. She couldn’t remember when she was happier.

But lately she had a weird feeling in the pit of her stomach. An unsteady, queasy feeling, she couldn’t explain. It had worsened when Trevor left. Freija boiled it down to Trevor’s absence. She felt she’d feel better when he was back home.

When her shift was over, she headed over to her neighborhood super market to pick a few things for dinner, a bottle of wine and small bottle of Crown Royal for Trevor. His favorite. She wanted tonight to be perfect. She had a feeling things was going to escalate between them. And even though, she was a bit uneasy about it, she was just as equally excited.

Freija made it home and after unpacking the groceries she began the task of cutting up some veggies and marinating 2 rib-eye steaks for dinner. She wouldn’t put it on the grill until Trevor got there. She got in the shower and took her time enjoying the water, washing up and shaving, making sure to listen out for her phone. It was close to 9pm and Trevor hadn’t called to say he made it to California yet. Arizona wasn’t that far depending on traffic.

Freija rubbed some of her favorite smell good lotion all over her body. She slipped on a silky rose gold night gown that hugged her curves and left her legs exposed. It was one of Trevor’s favorites. She checked her phone and sat down and curled up on her recliner beside her bed. No missed calls. That uneasy feeling was there again. Freija tried to ignore it. To pass the time Freija began to scroll through her Facebook page. Replying and liking as she went through her friend’s posts. Before long, her eyes grew heavy and Freija allowed her slumber to take over.

“Hey there sleepy head.” Trevor whispered. “How’s my lady doing?”

Freija turned to face him with a smile on her face. The sight of him always brought a smile to her face. Her heart felt full now that he was here. As she broke their gaze, she noted that she wasn’t in her room. She was somewhere else. Inside a tent. Confused at her surroundings, she sat up and looked over at Trevor who was lacing up his hiking boots. She realized then they were at their favorite campground at the Angeles national forest.

“It’s a great day for a hike.” Trevor said rubbing his hands together in anticipation. “You sure you’re up for it?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She asked incredulously. Her slight attitude had surprised her. She felt irritable and achy. Her body felt heavy and unreal. “I’m up for it.”

“Some fresh air will do us both some good.” Trevor stepped out of the tent and returned with a bag of yogurt covered pretzels and hot cocoa. He sure knew how to make things better Freija thought. She had a craving for that exact combo but didn’t know why. Grabbing the bag out of his grip. She grabbed a few pretzels and placed them into her mouth following with a sip of hot cocoa. Her eyes slowly closing, as her taste buds danced from the flavors in her mouth.

“Mmmmm, oh my god, this is so good.” Freija opened her eyes and looked at Trevor who sat quietly beside her. “Thank you, babe. I’m sorry I’ve been so moody.”

“You’re worth it, Frei.” Trevor placed his hand on her belly. “I know the sacrifice your body is making, and I appreciate it.” He leaned down and kissed her belly.

Freija was dumbfounded. Her eyes trailed down to her belly and indeed there was a lump below her sweater. With widened eyes, pulse racing and heart thumping out of control, she looked at Trevor who seemed oblivious to her current state.

“I love you, Frei.” Trevor said planting a soft kiss on her lips.

She knew then, this was a dream and before the kiss can be broken she heard her name being called from a distance.

“Freija, baby. You up?” Trevor’s voice echoed in her ear as she found herself back in reality. Back to her reality. The moment her eye flickered open everything hit her at once. The curse, her past heartaches. Her memories came crashing down on her like 15 elephants at once. How did she get here? Her chest felt tight and her breaths were ragged. She could feel the emotion welling up in her and she tried her hardest to hold it back. It was as if she had finally come out of a coma. It felt like time was skipping at random, like she was waddling through water trying to find her balance.

“Did I startle you?” Trevor said walking towards her on the recliner. “I’m sorry.”

Freija conjured up a smile. “A little.” She said timidly. “How was your drive?”

“Traffic was a nightmare. Sorry I got in so late.” He kneeled beside her to have a better view. “Seeing you now, I’ve missed you more than I realized.”

Freija felt her belly and felt a tinge of regret when she realized it was flat. She tried to stay focused on him. His words. But she was rattled by her dream. Her heart was still pounding. She tried to slow it down by calming her breathing and taking some slow deep breaths. Her thoughts were all over the place.

“Then kiss me.” She needed a kiss to calm her nerves. He did as she asked and gave her a kiss that made up for all the missed opportunities from him being gone all week. It was long, it was slow and filled with emotion. Her heart was now racing for another reason. She could feel her eyes welling up with tears as her emotions took over. The hurt she felt in her chest was almost suffocating. She understood where she was now. She understood where things would go. Her heart began to mourn.

“Why are you crying?” Trevor asked with concern on his face.

“I’m crying because I love you.”

“Oh, Frei,” He said with a warm smile. Their eyes meeting. “I love you too. You have my heart. I have never felt this way about a woman before. I love everything about you. You’re kind, caring and loving. It’s almost as if you were made and gift wrapped just for me. I’ve been drawn to you since we met and now I understand why. You are my destiny. Without you my world would not exist. Without you I would lose my breath.”

Freija placed her hand on his cheek. Tears came down like a broken dam. If he only knew. She kissed him and slowly began to undress him. Her love for him had her in a turmoil. She could leave now and maybe if there love dies the curse would spare him. But what if he died anyway, only living his last year bitter and angry over their breakup. She gave him this fate. She couldn’t just walk away. Her love for him wouldn’t allow her.

She had one choice now. And that was to love him like no woman has ever loved a man. He will be happy if she can help it. He will have accomplished as much as he could in a year and cross off as much as he could off his adventure list. It was the only way her guilt wouldn’t eat her alive. It was the only way she knew to love a man. Love and death was her destiny and any man who felt her love would feel the curse’s doom. She would love him till death.